


worked too damn hard for this

by pettigrace



Series: we're all somewhere in the middle [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Aromantic Mick Rory, Asexual Barry Allen, Asexual Mick Rory, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Barry Allen Has Anxiety, Bisexual Eddie Thawne, Bisexual Ronnie Raymond, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Chatting & Messaging, College AU, Deaf Character, Demiromantic Iris West, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gay Cisco Ramon, Gen, Innuendo, Jewish Leonard Snart, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Linda Park, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other, Pansexual Leonard Snart, Queer Oliver Queen, Queer Themes, References to Depression, Social Justice, Texting, Trans Cisco Ramon, meta jokes, more to be added - Freeform, non-binary barry allen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-03-07 21:34:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 44,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18881692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettigrace/pseuds/pettigrace
Summary: pipes:brain cell coming throughirisbest:can you believe hartley admits to having no braincellsbabybibibi:honestly shookpipes:‘tis a memeoliverqueer:great cisco ruined hartleytransco:it’s an honor(The new semester brings us development at VERDANT, new members of the uni club and revelations on all sides. But most importantly: Will Joe rethink the family he built himself?)Takes place April - July 2018.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to the third part of the groupchat au!  
> we're picking up right where the other left off, so i hope you enjoy it as much!
> 
> we're continuing the trend of cringey pop music titles by using a line from 5 seconds of summer's she looks so perfect

**irisbest** : could we PLEASE get an update

**irisbest** : the peace of my family is at stake

**oliverqueen** : so dramatic

**irisbest** : excuse you my dad just found out we’ve been lying to him for a month this LITERALLY is my family peace

**pipes** : i wouldn’t say you lied to him

**pipes** : he never asked if you knew eddie right

**lesbianda** : well how should he have expected THAT

**bilance** : always expect the unexpected

**bilance** : detective 101

**oliverqueer** : isn’t that just. Sherlock holmes

**bilance** : who is the greatest detective known to man, yes.

**irisbest** : honestly i cant even tell if ANY of you are on my side

**transco** : we’re always on your side

**lesbianda** : arm emoji

**irisbest** : oh god dad is calling me

**irisbest** : edward theodore thawne next time you decide to pass on info about us all confer first you asshole

**transco** : uh oh full name

**transco** : you’re screwed

**pipes** : rip iris ann west 1996-2018

**transco** : press f to pay respects

**babybibibi** : f

**snowflake** : f

**pipes** : f

**bilance** : f

**lesbianda** : f

**oliverqueer** : seriously????

**transco** : pay respects oliver

**lesbianda** : yeah your actual bodyguard just died

**oliverqueer** : sighs

**oliverqueer** : f

**bilance** : glad we settled that

**detectiveprettybi** : i’ll die won’t i

**babybibibi** : if west doesn’t kill you his daughter will

**detectiveprettybi** : gotta say joe is pretty calm about that actually

**bilance** : EDDIE

**bilance** : I do not shout easily I am disTRESSED don’t disappoint me my fav bi

**babybibibi** : i cant even pretend to be offended

**babybibibi** : bc these compliments might work as a bribe

**detectiveprettybi** : i legally ain’t allowed to tell y’all anything 

**pipes** : you literally never cared about that

**detectiveprettybi** : ??????

**detectiveprettybi** : pretty sure I did

**babybibibi** : did you though

**transco** : spill the beans

**snowflake** : Eddie please

**oliverqueer** : cait needs her bar/Snart content

**bilance** : they’re called captain space pay attention Ollie

**lesbianda** : personally I preferred coldbar

**transco** : legend

**pipes** : Linda you’re setting the wrong focus here

**pipes** : who are you

**lesbianda** : im the one who won’t get Eddie fired

**detectiveprettybi** : thank you

**babybibibi** : what does your best friend say about you supporting cops

**lesbianda** : idk idc

**pipes** : I WANNA KNOW THE DEETS ON SNART

**oliverqueer** : i think it’s safe to say we all want that

**pipes** : are bar and mick there now we don’t know ANYTHING

**detectiveprettybi** : yes

**detectiveprettybi** : although joe is trying to convince bar to leave

**transco** : oh so about bar you can talk huh

**detectiveprettybi** : THEY ARENT IN A HOLDING CELL

**pipes** : so mick is???

**detectiveprettybi** : fuck

**lesbianda** : yep seems like he is

**detectiveprettybi** : oh fuck off

**transco** : lmao eddie you idiot

**lesbianda** : how did mick end up in that cell

**bilance** : you know just staying silent for 5 mins doesn’t help

**pipes** : yeah eddie its not like we aint gonna know about it

**babybibibi** : and you already fucked up so whats a lil more

**detectiveprettybi** : how are you all so nosy

**oliverqueer** : eddie lmao

**bilance** : that’s so rich coming from you eddie

**lesbianda** : sara where were you

**bilance** : trying to get intel that wont put eddie’s job in danger

**detectiveprettybi** : bless you

**bilance** : but it didnt work so spill the beans

**detectiveprettybi** : …. 

**irisbest** : who did you ask

**bilance** : hacker friend

**oliverqueer** : it wasnt felicity was it

**bilance** : no BUT HOW DID I NOT THINK OF HER

**pipes** : we’ll come back to that later

**pipes** : stop distracting eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : jesus christ on a bicycle

**detectiveprettybi** : mick ended up in the cell bc he wanted to get in there

**detectiveprettybi** : bar wanted too but joe and snart werent having it

**babybibibi** : but what happened!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : idk this aint my case

**detectiveprettybi** : all i know is that snart got into a fight

**detectiveprettybi** : the end

**bilance** : but with whom

**detectiveprettybi** : I Can't tell!!!!!

**lesbianda** : i need To start teaching the ways of snooping

**transco** : please do

**oliverqueer** : Linda you aren’t even sneaky about it

**lesbianda** : Right i am so blunt ppl don’t realize they shouldn’t be telling me stuff 

**pipes** : so what’s going on now?

**detectiveprettybi** : bar and joe are arguing while joe is on the phone w iris, mick is in Snart’s cell but from what I can tell they’re just brooding next to one another 

**snowflake** : you should have just not said anything to joe

**detectiveprettybi** : can i just point out that IRIS wanted to tell him MULTIPLE times

**pipes** : yeah but she wanted to do it before it was too late edward theodore

**transco** : full name. You fucked up

**babybibibi** : can i point out what a stupid rule that is

**transco** : it’s literally how life works

**bilance** : yeah ronald benjamin raymond

**babybibibi** : why.

**oliverqueer** : why does this have to happen on the night before the semester begins though

**pipes** : now that’s a big mood

**transco** : snart’s dramatic ass

**lesbianda** : the question is when we’ll get new intel

**bilance** : honestly it’s 1:30

**babybibibi** : i already forced cait to sleep

**babybibibi** : her first class starts at 8

**transco** : now that’s just cruel

**pipes** : i thought cait could run on 3h of sleep

**babybibibi** : she can but that still ain’t good

**lesbianda** : we stan a thoughtful fiance

**oliverqueer** : eddie disappeared too huh

**bilance** : i feel like we aint getting any intel any more

**lesbianda** : where’s that stamina gone @ eddie

**pipes** : i thought eddie would only disappear when iris got out of the phone call

**transco** : joe can intimidate multiple ppl at once

**lesbianda** : yeah

**babybibibi** : okay but everyone is safe and sound right so no need to worry more

**transco** : yes you can go to sleep

**babybibibi** : thank god

**babybibibi** : i have a meeting with wells at 10

**bilance** : i’ll just keep the watch

**bilance** : it’s day for me anyways

**pipes** : bless

**bilance** : now go to bed

**transco** : yes mom

**lesbianda** : love you mom

**oliverqueer** : no

**bilance** : spoilsport

**oliverqueer** : gladly


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the investigation continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friendos, late update today bc i had lots of stuff to do but here it is!

**heatwave** added  **captaincold** to the chat

 

**transco** : OH WORM

**bilance** : the biggest plottwist

**lesbianda** : mick taking action? Yeah

**heatwave** : fuck you

**transco** : that’s more like it

**lesbianda** : so what’s going on

**heatwave** : got sent home

**pipes** : you really spent the night?

**heatwave** : aint the first cot i slept on

**heatwave** : fuckin asshole

**bilance** : who now

**heatwave** : everyone

**transco** : speaking of those where IS everyone

**lesbianda** : i feel like bar and iris might got their phones taken away tbh

**pipes** : yeah seems like a joe thing to do

**heatwave** : dont care

**bilance** : what about snart

**heatwave** : one on one with west and singh

**pipes** : that’s. Not what a one on one is

**transco** : fantasy foursome

**lesbianda** : yikes cisco.

**bilance** : there’s a dot she’s very serious

**lesbianda** : i am

**lesbianda** : joe and singh could be your dads

**pipes** : you said yourself that singh could get it and you’re right

**transco** : i was joking dhfjjfk but good to know my boyfriend would fuck anyone who comes his way

**bilance** : don’t act like that’s news to you

**pipes** : yeah

**oliverqueer** : how the hell are YOU ALL changing the topic

**lesbianda** : bc there’s not more to get out of mick is there

**heatwave** : nope

**bilance** : im glad you know each other so well

**oliverqueer** : where’s eddie

**pipes** : oh no what if west killed him

**pipes** : there goes my plan for moving out

**bilance** : so much love

**lesbianda** : why do i feel like snart wouldnt like that mick added him back to this

**heatwave** : dont care

**heatwave** : this groups actually good for him

**transco** : i

**transco** : was that

**transco** : LOVE?

**bilance** : mick what happened to you

**transco** : mick loves us :’)

**heatwave** : i said ‘for him’

**heatwave** : yall are annoying and im pissed at most of you

**oliverqueer** : rude? 

**oliverqueer** : iris and bar i would have understood but us?

**heatwave** : yall are too dumb to rec trauma

**lesbianda** : yeah we deserve that

**heatwave** : deserve a hell lotta more

**snowflake** : mick!!!! I really feel bad about all this and i see that it wasn’t anything to joke about

**heatwave** : frosty u were literally the last person i meand

**transco** : even mick can’t stand an upset cait

**pipes** : so i talked to wally

**pipes** : joe did take their phones, yes

**pipes** : and the situation is Tense™ 

**bilance** : so i take it west doesn’t know that wally knew

**pipes** : nope

**oliverqueer** : this is another bomb just waiting to go off

**transco** : go off i guess

**lesbianda** : cisco rlly

**transco** : it’s a reflex i’m sorry

**bilance** : what else did you get out of the small west

**pipes** : nothing about snart

**transco** : mick if we all say we’re sorry are you gonna talk to us

**bilance** : ten minutes of silence

**bilance** : i think that’s a no

**oliverqueer** : maybe he just fell asleep

**babybibibi** : well im glad i didnt miss anything then

**babybibibi** : did any of you go to eddie’s room yet

**pipes** : oh

**oliverqueer** : this group has one brain cell and it lives in cait & ronnie’s apartment

**lesbianda** : now i feel stupid

**bilance** : eddie was right last night he really isnt allowed to pass on info

**bilance** : i vote we just. Wait

**transco** : but im impatient

**bilance** : well you can always go check in on your best friend

**lesbianda** : so can i

**lesbianda** : WAIT. i have an IDEA

**oliverqueer** : the brain cell jumps

**lesbianda** : hartley ask wally if joe has to work today

**lesbianda** : also when does everyone have free time

**babybibibi** : cait has a tutorium until 2

**transco** : while hart is busy texting wally 

**transco** : he’s got work in an hour until 6

**oliverqueer** : why does he have a 5h shift

**babybibibi** : mercury is weird af

**transco** : y’all do realize that hartley obviously doesn’t work full time right

**oliverqueer** : oh right

**bilance** : what was your idea linda

**lesbianda** : we should ALL come clean with joe

**pipes** : what

**transco** : um sorry but i quite enjoy life

**babybibibi** : joe west doesn’t even know i exist

**oliverqueer** : i’ve been threatened by enough cops to last a lifetime

**oliverqueer** : plus, unlike the rest of you all i have no links towards him outside of this chat so it’s not like /I/ keep anything from him

**lesbianda** : and this is precisely why sara is the chatmom you coward

**oliverqueer** : i feel like we always keep circling back to the same three topics here

**oliverqueer** : and they’re all hateful towards me

**pipes** : come to think of it eddie hasn’t talked about incest in a while

**bilance** : ronnie you literally had dinner with the kid of his that’s not in this chat

**bilance** : face it we all have ties to him that might have been caused by this group but can be viewed as independent as well

**bilance** : that being said don’t you dare oull off another stunt without me

**transco** : when do you come back again

**babybibibi** : wtf what’s your tie to him

**bilance** : my dad you doofus

**babybibibi** : oh right

**bilance** : @ cisco in a week

**lesbianda** : soon!

**bilance** : yeah :(

**pipes** : don’t be too enthusiastic about seeing us all again

**bilance** : excuse you im leaving my gf and a fucking great country behind here shut up

**transco** : valid

**oliverqueer** : eddie is still asleep in his room and he HAS been out for quite a while so we’ll let him sleep

**bilance** : did dig say so

**oliverqueer** : yep

**lesbianda** : lmao

**pipes** : yeah so i guess it’s irrelevant that joe’s got the day off except for this talk with snart and singh?

**babybibibi** : since we’re rescheduling that intervention for a while,,

**lesbianda** : good so let’s discuss what we’ll do with the club next semester

**oliverqueer** : are you taking over that organisation too

**lesbianda** : obviously

**bilance** : linda you fucking legend

**lesbianda** : :^)

**transco** : i’d rather wait until we’re all back online tbh

**pipes** : yeah

**babybibibi** : agreed

**oliverqueer** : it’s only the first week anyway so we got time

**lesbianda** : if this all backfires i’ll kick your asses 6 years into the future

**pipes** : at least iris will be president then

**babybibibi** : iris west 2k24

**transco** : we stan

**bilance** : see that? They’d all gladly miss your presidency linda

**lesbianda** : hold my flower sara

**bilance** : gotcha


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're talking about death today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a filler chapter and i don't really like it but what can you do when you're struck down by the sudden heat outside and also sad dctv finales. gotta do SOMETHING right

**irisbest** : BOY is my dad pissed

**irisbest** : i need to kill eddie i guess

**lesbianda** : oh heeeeey you have your phone back

**snowflake** : you should read back on the chat iris

**irisbest** : gimme a moment

**spACEbar** : we only got our phones back bc it’s back to college today. For me at least. Why iris got hers idk

**spACEbar** : i think joe was up all night contemplating whether i truly need it in case of emergency

**lesbianda** : good that his paranoia won out

**spACEbar** : yeah

**spACEbar** : brb catching up too

**pipes** : are we finally going back to normal

**detectiveprettybi** : nobody in this goddamn group is normal

**lesbianda** : woah suddenly everyone is back or what

**pipes** : i had dig talk to eddie

**lesbianda** : ahhh ofc

**pipes** : eddie you better fill up the vodka again soon

**oliverqueer** : nah it’s good if that stuff is gone

**oliverqueer** : weak as hell

**detectiveprettybi** : WEAK?????

**detectiveprettybi** : were you seriously raised by the russian mafia or what

**lesbianda** : no but he’s rich

**transco** : i feel like we had this discussion already

**snowflake** : hey bar did you talk to snart yet

**pipes** : lmao cait

**lesbianda** : classic cait

**irisbest** : you all. Want to cast my dad’s wrath upon you

**spACEbar** : that’s so NICE

**babybibibi** : we’re fam

**irisbest** : so we’re all dying together

**lesbianda** : yep, as soon as sara is back

**oliverqueer** : sara loves dying

**transco** : big fan of bar just ignoring cait

**lesbianda** : where is sara even

**oliverqueer** : idk maybe movie night with ra’s

**transco** : that’s nyssa’s dad right

**transco** : somehow he doesn’t vibe me like the guy for movie nights

**babybibibi** : don’t underestimate sara’s ability to manipulate ppl

**oliverqueer** : im glad i didn’t have to be the one to point it out

**pipes** : we don’t want you to die actually

**snowflake** : nobody does

**irisbest** : except that conspiracy theory on instagram

**oliverqueer** : the what now

**irisbest** : YOU DON’T KNOW????

**irisbest** : oliver babe you need to check your tagged pictures for once

**oliverqueer** : on my official acc? I never check that lmao

**detectiveprettybi** : why do you check that iris

**irisbest** : bc oliver is famous and has hot famous friends????

**irisbest** : anyway

**transco** : grabs popcorn

**transco** : am i missing my subway for this? Absolutely

**pipes** : mendez will kill you

**transco** : no he won’t. Mendez is a cinnamon roll

**irisbest** : there’s been a post claiming that oliver won’t make it to 2020 like idk it was kind of a joke but now it’s a whole big thing and meme like ted cruz being the zodiac killer and i can’t believe y’all aren’t unaware?????? I’m disappointed in the meme experts

**babybibibi** : first of all, ted cruz IS the zodiac killer

**transco** : im sorry that i don’t stalk memes about my friends

**oliverqueer** : well that does leave me one and a half years at least

**lesbianda** : does it say anything about the exact time? Like is it gonna be a last call, december or something

**pipes** : linda needs to plan the obituary already

**lesbianda** : rip oliver jonas queen 1991 - 2019. Beloved son, brother, husband and father.

**oliverqueer** : oh so im getting married with a kid, too? Jesus those are gonna be exciting months

**lesbianda** : yeah it’s a wild time, i got it all planned

**irisbest** : how do we make oliver’s impending death even sadder - an essay

**transco** : your kid should be born shortly before you die

**lesbianda** : giving him a few days of happiness? The cruelest

**irisbest** : i love it

**oliverqueer** : im glad you all enjoy my death so much

**oliverqueer** : doesn’t beat tommy’s death fantasies though

**pipes** : tommy’s what now

**babybibibi** : hart no need for a boner

**pipes** : fuck you

**oliverqueer** : tommy once told me that if he dies he wants it to happen in the middle of may so i can never have a happy birthday ever again

**transco** : IF he dies

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s so fucked up i love it

**irisbest** : give tommy a meaningful death 2k18

**snowflake** : why are we discussing deaths

**pipes** : why not

**transco** : i’ve always wanted to fake my death

**lesbianda** : you wouldn’t be able to keep your mouth shut cisco lbr

**babybibibi** : i said this once already but: going down in a motherfucking explosion

**irisbest** : stabbing. I wanna go down in close combat

**spACEbar** : iRIS

**spACEbar** : im not gonna let you go down like that

**pipes** : personally i’ve always loved the idea of just fucking off never to be seen again

**lesbianda** : that’s a good one

**lesbianda** : i discussed that with patty once and we decided it’s a dream

**pipes** : wally gave me the idea actually

**lesbianda** : you, me and wally, let’s go

**transco** : truly an ot3

**babybibibi** : should be a comic book

**snowflake** : cisco did you ever leave for class

**transco** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : im proud

**spACEbar** : how does tomym want to die @ oliver

**oliverqueer** : heroic gesture

**pipes** : ofc

**detectiveprettybi** : don’t we all want that

**bilance** : im not around for a while and yall decide to recycle stuff we already discussed like a year ago

**transco** : no last time was death deja vus that we DID have, now it’s our dream death

**bilance** : i think about that quite often when i see oliver

**oliverqueer** : what did i do to you

**bilance** : i just keep remembering that time you shot me with an arrow

**oliverqueer** : it was an aCCIDENT

**bilance** : you’re weak thea would have hit me in the chest at least

**transco** : great now ill keep thinking about this convo during the entirety of class

**captaincold** : y’all got dark since i was gone. weird

**pipes** : SNART

**bilance** : THERE HE IS

**snowflake** : !!! HI

**captaincold** : and i’m leaving again

**babybibibi** : NO WAIT

**lesbianda** : nooo we want answers

**captaincold** : you aint getting any

**pipes** : like hell

**pipes** : you can’t just disappear for a month and then expect us to say nothing 

**captaincold** : it was half a month

**babybibibi** : semantics 

**heatwave** : ain’t none of ya business 

**snowflake** : :(

**oliverqueer** : but wlecome back i guess?

**captaincold** : thanks

**captaincold** : though i already am back to feeling an intense hatred for the majority of you

**pipes** : wouldn’t be you if you didn’t

**lesbianda** : lmao true


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's 2005 and we're discussing fantasy book series apparently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i... have no idea what this is. sorry. there's even a callout for myself!

**transco** : i need holidays

**spACEbar** : it’s literally been only three days

**transco** : you know what? Actually i want joe to take your phone again

**babybibibi** : :0

**babybibibi** : cruel

**spACEbar** : woah

**spACEbar** : iris is back to being my only best friend

**transco** : she’s more your sister shut up

**captaincold** : damn ramon go and get laid

**snowflake** : protection activated

**lesbianda** : lmao cait

**lesbianda** : did we ever settle whether you guys are okay again @ coldbar

**irisbest** : you’re really going with that one huh

**lesbianda** : y’all will too and then any other shipname will look stupid to the world

**babybibibi** : i doubt that anyone in the world will care

**snowflake** : :o

**pipes** : engagement revoked

**lesbianda** : i want an answer!

**captaincold** : you’re usually so good at snooping

**captaincold** : stop texting mick you aint subtle

**lesbianda** : don’t wanna be subtle

**lesbianda** : y’all know i’m a nosy bitch

**pipes** : talking to mick truly ruined you

**pipes** : where’s the linda who would have had my head for saying bitch

**lesbianda** : i’d still have your head for that mr “afab ppl grow facial hair???”

**pipes** : … fu

**lesbianda** : bar got awfully quiet

**bilance** : don’t say anything save some drama for when I’m back

**bilance** : 4 days!!!

**transco** : do you miss us

**bilance** : nah

**lesbianda** : rude

**bilance** : I don’t see most of y’all irl usually so it’s not like I’d have more interaction with you 

**pipes** : what about the quiver

**bilance** : i’ve spent most of my life with the majority of people there

**oliverqueer** : only laurel, tommy and me but ok

**bilance** : see y’all being so annoying is why i dont miss ya

**captaincold** : mood

**transco** : i was just gonna say sara sounds like possessed by snart

**lesbianda** : i’m seeing a clear case of “i soon have to leave my gf and i already miss her”

**lesbianda** : it’s highly infectious if you had it before so im :((

**lesbianda** : its missing my gf o’clock

**transco** : :(((

**pipes** : go call her idk sounds like a plan

**spACEbar** : how’s everyone so savage today

**bilance** : did we ever tell you about that time ray befriended some dude called savage

**captaincold** : there was a guy. Called savage.

**bilance** : yeah u jealous

**babybibibi** : sh i wanna hear that story

**bilance** : it was in hell

**transco** : good opener

**bilance** : well close enough anyways, it was public transport during one of the hottest days of the year. Naturally the AC was dead and everyone was annoyed bc the train also kept standing in the middle of nowhere for an hour, you know how it is.

**bilance** : but our dear ray of sunshine (heh) didn’t have any of it but made the dude stuck with him play some board game (i think it was jenga??? Only ray would randomly have that in his suit case i swear)

**bilance** : and yeah, he’s kinda creepy and shit but his name is savage and how crazy is that

**captaincold** : raymond truly is a lot to take in 

**pipes** : ray is a snake charmer

**transco** : give him any snake and you come out with a balloon animal

**babybibibi** : that’s such a bad metaphor sco what the hell

**transco** : i’m tired

**snowflake** : then sleep!!!

**transco** : stellar advice thank you

**irisbest** : lmao

**lesbianda** : drop your sarcastic attitude towards cait right now

**snowflake** : ok this is cute but you do realize that cisco and i are best friends too and i can deal with him

**oliverqueer** : caitlin coming through with a reality check here

**lesbianda** : i--

**irisbest** : yeah that makes sense

**spACEbar** : sharing being cisco’s bff with cait is an honor

**transco** : ah so now we’re bffs again

**spACEbar** : <3

**transco** : ok you’re forgiven

**detectiveprettybi** : cisco and his hufflepuff bffs

**bilance** : isn’t cait a ravenclaw. I feel like she is

**oliverqueer** : ^ yeah

**babybibibi** : nah she’s a hufflepuff alright

**snowflake** : i spent my life believing i was a ravenclaw, then pottermore came along and told me i was a hufflepuff and then i realized it makes way more sense

**oliverqueer** : that’s the opposite of sara’s hogwarts house story

**bilance** : don’t start with that

**irisbest** : well now we wanna know

**captaincold** : are you telling me lance is no slytherin

**bilance** : THANK YOU

**bilance** : at least one person knows what’s right

**oliverqueer** : you are a gryffindor sara jkr personally said so

**bilance** : jkr also thinks she’s sneaky when she calls the werewolf wolf but in latin and the snake snake but in sanskrit 

**pipes** : jkr also thinks the word of god is actual rep

**transco** : jkr also thinks romione would break up

**irisbest** : JKR THINKS WHAT NOW

**transco** : YEAH DIDN’T YOU SEE THAT ARTICLE A FEW WEEKS BACK

**transco** : [link attached]

**babybibibi** : harmione shipper rights!

**lesbianda** : i thought we made it clear that there’s no discussions on harry potter characters or ships in this chat here

**lesbianda** : on the other hand, ronnie i can’t believe you’d disrespect the most iconic slowburn like that

**oliverqueer** : lets go back to the fact that sara won’t accept that she’s a freaking gryffindor

**snowflake** : yeah our own hogwarts houses are a safe topic i guess

**bilance** : im not a fucking gryffindor im dangerous

**oliverqueer** : so are gryffindors!

**bilance** : im vicious

**oliverqueer** : peter pettigrew

**bilance** : are you comparing me to a RAT

**pipes** : hey what’s wrong with rats

**captaincold** : i have to laugh, did oliver queen just call peter pettigrew “vicious”

**lesbianda** : literally what the fuck did I just say

**transco** : the other day I saw someone on tumblr with a pettigrew url and I just went. The fuck.

**oliverqueer** : okay maybe vicious is the wrong word

**oliverqueer** : but actually what else would you call betraying your best friend in cold blood and keeping it a secret, framing your other best friend and blowing a street up while simultaneously cutting off your finger and transforming into an animal

**lesbianda** : i give up

**babybibibi** : is Oliver Queen a Peter pettigrew apologist

**oliverqueer** : no im just telling facts

**oliverqueer** : and another thing is people forgetting peter when writing about the young marauders

**transco** : damn we set him off

**transco** : so what’s everyone else’s Hogwarts house

**irisbest** : well sorry Sara but 

**irisbest** : slytherin B)

**bilance** : i don’t know what you mean it’s just like me!

**pipes** : well, same

**lesbianda** : yup

**babybibibi** : where my ravenclaws at

**transco** : I think we’re the only ones

**transco** : unless?

**detectiveprettybi** : Nope gryffindor

**oliverqueer** : ^

**pipes** : Snart what about u and mick

**captaincold** : guess we’re both slytherins

**babybibibi** : what bc you’re criminals?

**spACEbar** : ambitious, cunning, resourceful

**spACEbar** : fits

**transco** : what do you mean “guess”

**transco** : I want pottermore results!

**captaincold** : I’ve never in my life fucking seen pottermore

**pipes** : Snart pls we need answers

**bilance** : i wanna Know if someone else gets lied to

**oliverqueer** : Sara i get that you’re literally the definition of a slytherdor or whatever the hybrid is called

**oliverqueer** : but please look at the forming traits of gryffindor and then keep telling us they don’t fit

**bilance** : …

**bilance** : fuck you

**bilance** : least I don’t defend the dude who killed off Cedric Diggory

**spACEbar** : were spiraling so hard I love this

**irisbest** : did we know Oliver is such a potter stan

**lesbianda** : no but I love it

**transco** : what’s next, Oliver had a secret twilight phase?

**oliverqueer** : i Pride myself in the fact that I have never read or watched any of that

**bilance** : Oliver “what the hell is Twilight” Queen

**bilance** : Tommy “you’re so better off not knowing” Merlyn 

**bilance** : actual conversation

**spACEbar** : hmmm?

**heatwave** : yeah he’s been typing for a while

**pipes** : mick! what Hogwarts House are you

**captaincold** : The thing with twilight is that the characters aren’t explored enough, even the three main ones who you’d think you know best. Do we get more than the Basics about Bellas life before forks? No and its fucking bullshit to hear how she’s had to baby her mum all the time and yet whenever she shows up she seems like a capable woman who has her life in check. It could have been a factor of Bella’s caring and worry about other people (as seen when she constantly cooks for Charlie or worries about the cullens breaking their vow when she could’ve actually gotten hurt in comparison) but she remains shallow in that part. That being sad Bella’s one of the most stubborn characters we have ever encountered. Actually I think Edward is the character we learn and understand most of, then comes Jacob bc the part written from his pov demonstrates a lot of his past and present, as cringey as his future is, and then Rosalie and Carlisle with their stories. The others? Tough luck. Meyer screwed us over by creating interesting characters and never exploring them deeply enough. Hell, we don’t even learn anything about Bella’s school friends and while that shows her disinterest in them as a contrast to her behaviour towards the cullens it could’ve been done better

**heatwave** : no fucking clue

**captaincold** : that being said the world she has created is very interesting, though, with the volturi and shapeshifters she created opponents that keep the story alive, as does the dedication everyone has towards one another

**lesbianda** : what

**irisbest** : holy shit

**spACEbar** : yep

**transco** : SNART IS A TWIHARD?

**heatwave** : yep

**babybibibi** : FUCK

**detectiveprettybi** : this is amazing

**heatwave** : y’all shut the fuck up 

**heatwave** : twilight ruined vampires

**bilance** : im guessing they’re settling this irl now

**snowflake** : I am genuinely worried about their hospital bills 

**pipes** : mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, you'll get your coldbar drama soon. had to give them a break lmao  
> also, you know how hartley's "afab ppl grow facial hair?????" was an exaggeration on my part (or so i thought)? turns out lgbt+ cis guys truly have no idea about shit, my brother was shook to learn about that recently too when looking into my face too closely lmao


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are we moving forward? nobody can tell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> exciting things this weekend:  
> \- played jenga for the first time in my life and destroyed people's lives. how did ray and savage befriend each other over this when my friends and i were close to killing each other  
> \- i saw a production of spring awakening!!!!!! it was by students so it wasn't the greatest and i'm probably the most critical audience for that musical so I have a lot of thoughts regardless. they're [here](https://twitter.com/Ll4MDUNBAR/status/1140005136368115712) on my twitter

**transco** : ok i know we ignored that for a while but i cant take it any more

**transco** : snart what consequences did your fist fight stunt have

**bilance** : gotta say if he answers you i’ll be impressed

**transco** : shut up im his fave after bar and mick

**lesbianda** : doubt

**pipes** : yeah babe doubt

**transco** : you forgot the png

**pipes** : STOP THAT

**detectiveprettybi** : we have three jokes and every now and then we remember them

**babybibibi** : personally every now and then i fall apart

**bilance** : wow

**spACEbar** : hell even we have no idea

**lesbianda** : me neither mick just won’t tell me

**lesbianda** : and the same goes for the relationship drama here

**snowflake** : yeah what about that

**pipes** : eye emoji

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : eye emoji

**bilance** : eye emoji

**spACEbar** : stop that

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : even IRIS doesn’t know?????

**spACEbar** : bc there’s nothing to know

**detectiveprettybi** : shit u didnt even talk yet

**spACEbar** : no

**pipes** : shit

**transco** : oh what??

**snowflake** : that’s. Not good.

**lesbianda** : maybe one of his punishments is that he isn’t allowed to talk to you

**derectiveprettybi** : sure makes sense

**irisbest** : absolutely and very professional

**bilance** : i can JUST see Singh agree to that

**captaincold** : not that it’s any of your business

**captaincold** : but I was gonna wait until the weekend

**transco** : why

**spACEbar** : well you could’ve told me that at least

**captaincold** : bc i figured the beginning of the Semester would be stressful enough for bar

**spACEbar** : lmao.

**irisbest** : uh-oh

**spACEbar** : and you didn’t think having one less bullshit to deal with would actually help with that

**spACEbar** : or like

**spACEbar** : ask ME when I’d feel okay with having that conversation 

**babybibibi** : anyone else feel like when you visited a friend and suddenly he and his mom start fighting in front of you and you don’t know what to do

**transco** : i usually was that friend

**pipes** : i didn’t have friends

**lesbianda** : did they move that argument into a private chat

**snowflake** : i sure hope

**irisbest** : pray for coldbar

**bilance** : we truly love our gallows humor

**babybibibi** : hart don’t drag us down here

**pipes** : well sorry that my childhood wasnt so wholesome

**detectiveprettybi** : you are the poster child for ‘money can’t buy you happiness’ huh

**pipes** : at least that

**lesbianda** : if anything he’s the poster child for ‘it gets better’

**pipes** : @ dan savage hire me

**babybibibi** : you should have played kenny o’neal

**transco** : ohhhh

**irisbest** : hartley as an actor? I cant see it

**pipes** : kenny’s bf was cute ill take it

**pipes** : rude, iris

**lesbianda** : we all have our talents hartley and yours just isn’t acting

**detectiveprettybi** : how are your fics maybe writing is your secret talent

**pipes** : i don’t actually write fics

**detectiveprettybi** : then you should try

**transco** : stop bullying my boyfriend

**snowflake** : aw

**bilance** : cute

**irisbest** : oh bar left the house

**snowflake** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**pipes** : eye emoji

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : eye emoji

**bilance** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : they didnt say anything but they were still fuming i think so maybe they’e just going for a run

**pipes** : bar goes running?

**irisbest** : yeah from time to time

**babybibibi** : jogging is a hobby i never understood

**transco** : yeah humans should only run when they’re in a hurry

**bilance** : I would never have expected Sara to fraternize with such lazy human beings.

**lesbianda** : Nyssa!!!!!

**irisbest** : hello Nyssa 

**detectiveprettybi** : Oliver is not here to be roasted I’m sorry

**bilance** : It’s cute that you think Oliver is any of my concern.

**transco** : I love the badass aura radiating from nyssa

**babybibibi** : no fucks given

**pipes** : how can we help you nyssa

**bilance** : I just wanted to make sure you are all ready to give my Beloved the welcome that she deserves.

**transco** : are you talking about a party?

**bilance** : Perhaps.

**babybibibi** : were great at those

**heatwave** : im in

**pipes** : m i  c k

**bilance** : Sara will arrive at 9:54pm your time on Sunday. Be prepared.

**detectiveprettybi** : dig is picking her up right

**bilance** : Yes.

**bilance** : Now, I want this to be a surprise. How to I delete messages?

**transco** : just hold them and then a window pops up where you can delete

**pipes** : we all better continue our conversation as it were huh

**bilance** : This sounds like the logical solution, yes. 

**bilance** : You must be the clever one.

**transco** : oh no

**pipes** : :3c i’m the clever one

**irisbest** : bye nyssa!

**lesbianda** : im love you nyssa

**bilance** : You are a weird bunch.

**bilance** : But, regardless, thank you for cooperating.

**bilance** : Goodbye.

**babybibibi** : she’s so lovely

**transco** : really heartwarming

**transco** : anyway yeah im hella lazy i only run when im outta twizzlers

**detectiveprettybi** : how aren’t you fat

**transco** : dude did you see my face? Im blessed with hella good genes

**irisbest** : consider: pretty fat people exist

**lesbianda** : oh they sure do

**babybibibi** : in this group we love people regardless of their body type

**detectiveprettybi** : im hella bi for everyone

**bilance** : big mood

**pipes** : also cisco HAS a little tummy

**transco** : HARTLEY

**pipes** : what? It’s cute

**lesbianda** : awwwwww

**snowflake** : you always had that tho

**transco** : i feel attacked here

**babybibibi** : it really is adorable

**detectiveprettybi** : im sure it is

**transco** : now im blushing

**pipes** : oh when he speaks you blush

**irisbest** : :’DDD

**lesbianda** : okay that was weird

**heatwave** : hella

**transco** : hey mick anything about the coldbar situation

**detectiveprettybi** : suave

**heatwave** : idk snart’s left some time ago

**snowflake** : how long are we supposed to wait!!!!

**snowflake** : i feel like this drama has been going on for like three months!!!!

**pipes** : i agree we get updates so rarely

**babybibibi** : honestly i feel like we only get them once a week

**transco** : and they’re really dragging this out

**bilance** : i think they just don’t know how to resolve it

**bilance** : like? At least they’re finally talking apparently

**detectiveprettybi** : i just wish someone were to write that conversation down

**irisbest** : i wish someone knew how exactly that convo goes down

**lesbianda** : whoever’s leading our lives here surely doesn’t have a single clue huh

**pipes** : nope

**snowflake** : you talk as if God were an overwhelmed person who’s not happy with their life and uses us as a coping mechanism but doesn’t know shit about relationships so they can’t possibly imagine how to get them out of that mess

**transco** : i’m not supposed to have an image of god in my mind

**transco** : 1st commandment

**heatwave** : stop the existential crisis

**lesbianda** : better listen to mick

**snowflake** : #prayforcoldbar

**pipes** : ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- all comparisons between me and God are probably gonna land me in hell, no matter if they're a joke or not, huh  
> \- @ everyone who knows the real o'neals: yes, that was a spring awakening reference. yes, i'm gonna come back to ramona young playing someone in the arrowverse now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'sip sip motherfuckers' - linda park, probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snart and bar [talked](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12255837/chapters/45860869), in case you missed it!

**spACEbar** : we talked

**snowflake** : YES

**babybibibi** : fucking finally

**transco** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : y’all putting the wrong focus

**lesbianda** : what’s the outcome

**spACEbar** : slowly dealing with it

**oliverqueer** : yeah i mean you never did take it slow huh

**oliverqueer** : got yeeted right into the relationship

**transco** : did oliver queen just say YEET

**babybibibi** : YEET

**pipes** : yeet yote yoten

**irisbest** : did hartley just fucking conjugate a meme

**transco** : that’s what i have to put up with

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s what i’ll have to put up with

**pipes** : excUSE ME

**pipes** : nobody’s making y’all put up with me 

**transco** : chill we’re joking

**bilance** : ya we love you hart

**captaincold** : safe for cisco i guess

**transco** : OH MY GOD CAN YOU PLEASE STOP

**transco** : HOW DOES SNART EVEN KNOW WAS HE EVEN HERE FOR THAT

**babybibibi** : honestly im too lazy to scroll up and check

**oliverqueer** : i already downloaded parts of this chat into separate files but they’re on my computer

**bilance** : i. Why.

**oliverqueer** : sorted it by semester and holidays

**oliverqueer** : easier to find shit

**lesbianda** : felicity gave you that idea right

**oliverqueer** : yeah but it IS a good idea

**irisbest** : can we just agree that even if Snart didn’t know it’s no surprise he is, somehow, informed

**babybibibi** : sounds reasonable

**captaincold** : love my rep

**heatwave** : yo pipes

**pipes** : yes

**heatwave** : you ever read hunchback of Notre Dame?

**pipes** : nope but I saw the musical!!!!

**pipes** : the guy who plays Quasimodo is a dream and I love that he actually portrays him as deaf

**spACEbar** : there’s a hunchback musical????

**pipes** : YES

**pipes** : [link attached]

**transco** : Esmeralda seems familiar

**bilance** : hm yeah a teensy bit

**irisbest** : frollo reminds me of my high school teacher

**spACEbar** : mr tonguing right???

**irisbest** : y e a h

**detectiveprettybi** : you had a teacher called TONGUING

**babybibibi** : i love how random mick’s taste in books is

**captaincold** : nah it boils down to old as fuck

**irisbest** : well we don’t need to talk about your taste I guess

**captaincold** : oh fuck off

**lesbianda** : no it’s cute

**lesbianda** : and we all know what a sap you actually are

**heatwave** : old af he says

**heatwave** : like he didn’t eat up Jane Austen

**bilance** : EXPOSED

**oliverqueer** : oh btw hart

**oliverqueer** : My godfather’s kid is deaf 

**pipes** : don’t say I’d get along with him just bc of that 

**oliverqueer** : no i wanted to say I could actually communicate respectfully with him for the first time so thanks 

**bilance** : Joey!!! How is my fav all-inclusive 

**babybibibi** : your what 

**bilance** : he‘s a deaf trans queer MoC 

**irisbest** : omg 

**snowflake** : hes hartmons child

**transco** : at least that

**bilance** : ALSO are you telling me slade is in central?????

**oliverqueer** : nah he was in star yesterday

**pipes** : oh THATS where you went

**bilance** : fuck off I can’t believe I’m missing my man by two days?????

**spACEbar** : I don’t understand travel between time zones

**captaincold** : ofc you don’t

**spACEbar** : so when are you leaving over there

**bilance** : in four hours :((((

**lesbianda** : have you packed already?

**bilance** : Yeah

**heatwave** : go bang it out

**bilance** : that’s the plan

**transco** : mick with the best advices

**detectiveprettybi** : We’ll be reunited so soon!!!!

**bilance** : yeah and then I can beat your ass

**detectiveprettybi** : why are you all so mad!

**pipes** : yeah look at us being independent and all

**irisbest** : you did not fucking tell anyone

**pipes** : yeah bc we don’t even have a clue where to go yet

**pipes** : for all we know we could just not find anything 

**oliverqueer** : well now I feel like we should cheer you up

**bilance** : I sure hope you don’t find anything

**oliverqueer** : Okay then!

**lesbianda** : Sara will kidnap her fav bi to keep him

**babybibibi** : I’m not even gonna say it anymore

**snowflake** : rip baby

**spACEbar** : joe’ll probably be happy when you don’t live with a Snart anymore 

**detectiveprettybi** : he doesn’t even know that yet

**detectiveprettybi** : oh my god 

**irisbest** : we said we’d all come clean

**heatwave** : hell I ain’t got nothing to do with that

**captaincold** : Yeah count us out

**lesbianda** : we’re all in this together you assholes

**transco** : [gif attached]

**pipes** : cisquito

**babybibibi** : we were all singing that lbr

**captaincold** : ain’t gonna let the detective have my head I’m out

**heatwave** : if ya out ya out

**bilance** : I think we can manage without them

**oliverqueer** : probably for the better

**lesbianda** : youre on thin fucking ice @ coldwave

**spACEbar** : well then Lisa needs to be there

**pipes** : Wally too I guess

**irisbest** : yeah definitely Wally

**transco** : all of us will die won’t we

**bilance** : when are we doing this 

**babybibibi** : were just waiting for you Sara

**pipes** : yeah you decide

**bilance** : hmm y’all free on Tuesday?

**detectiveprettybi** : we actually have a desk shift then so if we’re doing it in the evening?

**pipes** : yeah I can stop by from mercury then

**oliverqueer** : like always, onyl speak up if you don’t have time

**irisbest** : those were some quiet 5 minutes

**captaincold** : truly majestic

**pipes** : dang snart’s back to normal huh

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s weirdly comforting

**babybibibi** : the saga of eddie vs snart is continuing

**irisbest** : my fav real-life thriller

**captaincold** : course it is

**irisbest** : u want beef bc lemme tell you ripping off your balls is still on the table

**transco** : that only turns him on 

**oliverqueer** : i think it’s a general fact that snart is more afraid of the women in here than anyone else

**captaincold** : not fear, respect

**captaincold** : y’all are pussies

**lesbianda** : i could go into a feminist rant now about pussies as an insult but i’m just bathing in the respecting women juice

**bilance** : wonderful, see you later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's five layers of meta in the hunchback of notre dame bit i am so tired and so glad i get to do this  
> also hell yeah, titans casting chella man for jericho was the best thing happening to me


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the aftermath of sara's welcome home party and preparation for facing joe. also hartley has a melt-down

**transco** : you’re a bad actress Sara

**babybibibi** : yeah you could’ve at least pretended to be surprised

**bilance** : I did!!!

**lesbianda** : badly

**bilance** : :(((

**bilance** : but te joy ws real!!!

**spACEbar** : thank god for that

**oliverqueer** : and i thought you didn’t miss us

**bilance** : im legit tipsy so don’t tke me seriosy but i might actally hve

**pipes** : mick your alcohol was good apparently

**oliverqueer** : that’s the nicest you’ve ever said

**irisbest** : you guys DATED

**irisbest** : how is this the nicest she’s been to you i’m crying

**lesbianda** : honestly what kind of relationship was that

**captaincold** : i bet it’s mostly been fucking

**oliverqueer** : i didn’t have a rep for nothing back then

**transco** : ohhhh u tiger

**irisbest** : ugh can you believe my classes start tomorrow

**pipes** : oh no what horror

**babybibibi** : im glad i alredy sent cait to bed or else she’d have your head for that

**lesbianda** : how is caitlin simultaneously the sweetest and most scary person i know

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s always a combo though

**captaincold** : yeah.

**transco** : hmhm

**irisbest** : boy tell me about it

**spACEbar** : i don’t know whether to feel offended or praised

**captaincold** : i do appreciate it

**heatwave** : kinky

**pipes** : i love that mick always lurks until he can kinkshame someone

**lesbianda** : his constant mood

**bilance** : im sleep

**oliverqueer** : dig’s making us all go to bed

**pipes** : good night

**transco** : dig is such a dad

**irisbest** : how are we all sober save for sara

**babybibibi** : bc sara and tommy killed mick’s booze all by themselves

**heatwave** : fucking rude

**spACEbar** : im sure you can get your hands on some new

**spACEbar** : anyway it’s time for bed

**lesbianda** : sleep well my babes <3

**detectiveprettybi** : <3

 

**bilance** : okay in my defense i would have been surprised if nyssa had actually managed to delete the chatlog

**snowflake** : ?????

**snowflake** : she specifically asked how she does that

**bilance** : yeah she’s. Not good with technology

**bilance** : Which is funny bc their home is full of computers

**bilance** : don’t even have to open the blinds by yourself, you can order them to do it via voice

**transco** : why isn’t the Quiver more advanced

**babybibibi** : is nyssa’s family richer than the queens 

**bilance** : who the fuck knows

**bilance** : Oliver’s scared of technology 

**transco** : jfjfkfkfk hows he dating felicity

**bilance** : she deals with it instead of him, things make sense

**captaincold** : miracle that queen uses his phone huh

**oliverqueer** : what the

**oliverqueer** : I’m NOT scared of technology???

**oliverqueer** : I just don’t trust those home services things

**lesbianda** : reasonable

**pipes** : OH YM GOD

**pipes** : THEY ANNOUNCED THE NEW CONNOR MURPHY

**oliverqueer** : the who now

**babybibibi** : who the fuck is connor Murphy 

**pipes** : ARE YOU KIDDING ME

**pipes** : DEAR EVAN HANSEN 

**bilance** : we have no idea what that is

**oliverqueer** : FUCK did you actually just SCREAM

**babybibibi** : howdoes this still surprise you

**transco** : is he getting murdered now

**bilance** : several people Are threatening his life yeah

**transco** : ok while that happens

**transco** : it’s a musical

**transco** : hart likes it a lot, it’s quite nice

**babybibibi** : ah

**transco** : yeah that dude from pitch perfect is the lead

**oliverqueer** : Jesse?

**transco** : Nope his roommate

**bilance** : oh WHAT

**babybibibi** : that intrigues me I love underdogs 

**detectiveprettybi** : FUCK HARTLEY

**detectiveprettybi** : I DONT WANT TO MOVE IN WITH HIM ANY MORE

**bilance** : yaaaaay

**detectiveprettybi** : WHAT THE FUCK

**pipes** : [image attached]

**pipes** : look he looks like such a tool

**pipes** : like. he was great in deaf awakening but. connor..........

**transco** : how are you still alive

**pipes** : lock

**bilance** : i thought dig would kick in the door tbh

**oliverqueer** : dig isn’t even home

**bilance** : ah.

**detectiveprettybi** : and i guess laurel and tommy might be annoyed but also busy if you catch my drift

**bilance** : yuck

**oliverqueer** : why are YOU like this

**captaincold** : queen are you sad you missed out on that threesome

**oliverqueer** : no

**transco** : hm sure

**pipes** : i already missed this announcement in the first place bc y’all keep distracting me why are you like this

**snowflake** : everyone’s brain is full of sex

**snowflake** : i blame the spring

**spACEbar** : you could call it a spring awakening

**pipes** : oh my fucking god bar you’re the only person i trust here

**spACEbar** : :^)

**captaincold** : i hope you’re proud of that one

**spACEbar** : i am, thank you

**spACEbar** : hart lets meet up before class and discuss that casting

**pipes** : THE ONLY PERSON I TRUST

**transco** : ok it’s not like i watched a bootleg of that damn musical with him…..

**detectiveprettybi** : musical bros before hoes

**transco** : >:/

**lesbianda** : how did lisa not kill him is the real question

**babybibibi** : legit forgot she’s supposed to be in the same building as hartley

**detectiveprettybi** : well

**bilance** : lisa wasn’t home for the night either

**captaincold** : lisa wasn’t what

**snowflake** : uh oh

**irisbest** : oh hell yeah imma get popcorn for breakfast

**lesbianda** : popcorn and tea sis

**detectiveprettybi** : oh hey look hartley left

**captaincold** : thawne

**detectiveprettybi** : i have no idea where she is!

**bilance** : neither do i

**oliverqueer** : same

**transco** : hart and her still aren’t at the point yet where they conspire 

**captaincold** : where the fuck is my sister

**lesbianda** : maybe you should call her?

**transco** : wow linda you’re so brave

**irisbest** : ofc snart’s that kind of protective brother

**babybibibi** : tbh i’d have thought he just… lets her be

**irisbest** : oh in case hart checks the chat: bar’s finally left too

**detectiveprettybi** : one day they will be on time

**babybibibi** : i still find that so strange. I thought people with anxiety are always super punctual

**oliverqueer** : not everyone’s the same ronnie

**babybibibi** : point

**irisbest** : the topics we have at 8 in the morning

**transco** : ugh class soon

**detectiveprettybi** : heh

**lesbianda** : eddie you literally have to work in less than an hour shut up

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah but only desk duty

**bilance** : and then we’re dealing with joe west

**bilance** : what can go wrong

**heatwave** : is lance scared

**irisbest** : you shut up you aren’t even coming

**heatwave** : i come often thanks

**transco** : we’re losing linda and iris to coldwave today i tell ya

**babybibibi** : the rest of us is gonna get killed by west so

**oliverqueer** : great omen for my club

**detectiveprettybi** : okay i know im the wrong person to say this

**detectiveprettybi** : but if *I* deserved my reveal…

**bilance** : u never told west that you fucked his daughter

**lesbianda** : or that she fucked you

**heatwave** : juicy

**lesbianda** : very

**transco** : really love that you dsicussed that in detail apparently

**detectiveprettybi** : srsly no privacy here

**babybibibi** : next club meet up is gonna be naked

**heatwave** : hell yeah

**lesbianda** : mick no

**oliverqueer** : NO

**oliverqueer** : i swear to GOD

**bilance** : so sensitive

**captaincold** : my calls were fucking declined

**irisbest** : lmao then she’s fine

**lesbianda** : yeah

**transco** : is that payback for your behaviour?

**captaincold** : you know what? I fuckin hope so

**heatwave** : let her bang some dudes

**heatwave** : now get out of the fucking bathroom

**lesbianda** : i love that snart is the person who hides when he’s on the phone

**captaincold** : the last ounce of privacy

**bilance** : don’t act like you aint gonna shack up together as well when you get out of there

**captaincold** : you got me there

**captaincold** : but consider: separate rooms

**transco** : whenever i think that my apartment is a shithole i think of you two and then i feel better

**heatwave** : glad to be of service

**snowflake** : everyone who has class at 9 let’s go!!

**oliverqueer** : sighs

**bilance** : see y’all @ the wests’ house later

**irisbest** : yeah wally’s providing a distraction, all of you better show up at 5

**captaincold** : have fun losers

**lesbianda** : coward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you didn't know, alex boniello was the second connor murphy in dear evan hansen's broadway run. had his broadway premiere in (you guessed it) deaf awakening, where he stayed alongside andy mientus aka hartley rathaway. they bully each other on twitter. it's amazing
> 
> soon i will quit with the spring awakening reference that nobody gets i promise
> 
> also! shameless self promo: check out my dick grayson & clark kent [relationship study](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19405027) if you're interested.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath of confession time includes lots of memes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you missed it, the group told joe about ... _almost_ everything in [this interlude](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12255837/chapters/46328086#workskin).

**lesbianda** : well that went well

**bilance** : he really needed that drink

**irisbest** : he looked spooked for the rest of the night

**babybibibi** : oh and we stayed for so long 

**snowflake** : Ollie looked so spooked I wanted to hug him

**transco** : you wanted to do a lot

**captaincold** : what did snow do

**captaincold** : what did you do to the detective

**oliverqueer** : we were twelve random people in his living room

**bilance** : Oliver owes him like 200 bucks

**heatwave** : what did you break 

**pipes** : nothing we made him buy big belly’s

**captaincold** : literally how the fuck

**transco** : wally ordered for him, jax and jesse

**heatwave** : so kids were there too

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah

**babybibibi** : caitlin just kept wanting to shake his hand

**babybibibi** : as if they were gonna be colleagues

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s my part

**captaincold** : oh hey pretty bi lives

**captaincold** :  a sad day

**detectiveprettybi** : fuck you

**pipes** : okay maybe i’m too tried but… why did this read as amicable 

**heatwave** : ami what

**transco** : friendly

**heatwave** : then fuckin say that

**pipes** : i did

**bilance** : hartley breathes in pretentiousness

**babybibibi** : it did get better ever since we all got together

**pipes** : i feel attacked

**irisbest** : you were great today hart bb

**irisbest** : i think hes actually dealing pretty well

**transco** : [gif attached]

**transco** : that’s joe

**lesbianda** : Dirk gently, nice

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s literally each and every one of us when someone mentions a random person and another goes I KNOW THEM

**detectiveprettybi** : speaking of i just remembered something

**bilance** : so are we just gonna wait for another ten minutes

**captaincold** : the fuck’s he doing

**pipes** : scrolling through his phone

**pipes** : [video attached]

**babybibibi** : stop you’re making him nervous!

**snowflake** : why is eddie so incredibly pretty

**heatwave** : my offer stands

**captaincold** : cop

**heatwave** : my offer is gone

**transco** : one day mick will fuck eddie

**lesbianda** : very sure he’s game

**heatwave** : course he is

**detectiveprettybi** : very game actually

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : OLIVER

**bilance** : he simultaneously yelled irl

**pipes** : and tommy yelled back

**bilance** : i wish i recorded that i wanna make FUCK OFF EDDIE my ringtone

**detectiveprettybi** : fucking rude i thought we were friends

**captaincold** : the rich boys back at banging?

**pipes** : who the fuck knows

**babybibibi** : WAIT EDDIE YOURE   T E X T I N G WITH BRUCE WAYNE?

**lesbianda** : bruce wayne and clark kent are texting????

**transco** : two kinds of people

**detectiveprettybi** : ofc u think i don’t cherish the people i meet

**captaincold** : u really think he’ll sleep with u again huh

**detectiveprettybi** : do you think we’d have gone for five rounds if I weren’t good

**transco** : can people with penes pretend to have an orgasm

**oliverqueer** : EDDIE STOP FUCJGN YELLNIG I WILL POSION YOUR FOOD

**detectiveprettybi** : just fucking tell ollie to check this chat you asshole

**irisbest** : did any of us see this relationship development coming

**snowflake** : why does the acting ceo of queen consolidated look like Clark Kent’s uncle

**lesbianda** : so Thats what’s written there

**pipes** : did you not read it

**lesbianda** : i was too preoccupied by Clark’s name

**transco** : now we know how to make Linda stop snooping

**lesbianda** : excUSE ME

**oliverqueer** : why the fuck does my stepfather look like Clark Kent’s uncle 

**transco** : I bet they don’t even look that similar

**irisbest** : yeah it’s probably just the subtle way that white people think all poc look the same

**lesbianda** : don’t i know it

**oliverqueer** : honestly at this point I’d just accept if you told me Walter has a doppelgänger 

**oliverqueer** : I’m too tired for this

**pipes** : that’s what defeat looks like 

**babybibibi** : it IS slowly getting old

**transco** : yeah every week someone is like “oh this person looks like that person” and “oh we all know that guy?”

**pipes** : granted but we all thought it was limited to central 

**captaincold** : excuse me where were you when mick fucked the British doppelgänger of his other other best friend

**transco** : Amaya is the other other best friend?

**lesbianda** : who’s the other best friend 

**babybibibi** : who’s the og best friend

**captaincold** : i feel like y’all are doing this on purpose

**heatwave** : guessing Snart calls himself the og

**captaincold** : Yeah????? bc that’s what I fucking am you asshole?

**detectiveprettybi** : i mean. Tough proof right here 

**bilance** : Snart you don’t count you guys are a married

**heatwave** : [image attached]

**pipes** : lmao he’s so done

**snowflake** : oh noooo

**bilance** : cool we broke snart

**oliverqueer** : took us longer than i expected

**transco** : ikr

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**spACEbar** : joe today

**lesbianda** : youre late we already had a joe meme

**spACEbar** : no you don’t understand he literally said that

**irisbest** : no until he went to bed he literally just sat there and stared at the wall

**transco** : yeah we were all there

**captaincold** : west went to bed while y’all were there???

**captaincold** : suddenly i regret not being there

**snowflake** : did you resurface bc bar appeared

**spACEbar** : just came from a talk with him

**detectiveprettybi** : you had another talk with him

**pipes** : when the last thing he said was ‘does anybody else wanna tell me something’

**lesbianda** : and none of us knew whether to stare at westhawne or wally and his partners

**irisbest** : bar which one of us needs to kill you

**snowflake** : did you give them a shipname that’s so sweet

**spACEbar** : maybe i wanted to tell him something

**transco** : ?? i thought he already knew you’re ace

**lesbianda** : OH

**captaincold** : oh wow you talked to him?

**babybibibi** : oh i SEE

**spACEbar** : yeah,

**captaincold** : i’m proud

**spACEbar** : <3

**transco** : OHH

**pipes** : how did he take it

**snowflake** : bar that’s amazing!!!

**bilance** : you’re great bar

**spACEbar** : he was a little confused 

**transco** : ugh

**spACEbar** : but in the end he accepted it

**spACEbar** : im now supposed to give him pointers when he uses any nicknames and stuff im uncomfy with

**irisbest** : excuse me im coming to your room right now

**spACEbar** : and yeah he literally went full mulaney

**snowflake** : im so happy for you!!

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**transco** : did Oliver just use a meme when I didn’t

**oliverqueer** : nope it’s ya boy tommy here

**babybibibi** : HEY DEMONS ITS ME YA BOY

**bilance** : hell yeah bfu!!!!

**snowflake** : ronnie once made me watch an ep and I was too weirded out by the white guy to continue 

**snowflake** : like even if you don’t believe that stuff an abandoned hospital IS scary in the middle of the night

**pipes** : does studying medicine mean youre having class trips to abandoned hospitals lmao

**heatwave** : so west really just let y’all of the hook

**lesbianda** : for now yeah

**heatwave** : fucking do-gooders 

**transco** : I’m pretty sure we will feel his wrath in some way

**detectiveprettybi** : really looking forward to it

**bilance** : shush it he still doesn’t know the whole deal with you and Iris

**irisbest** : and thank the lord for that 

**detectiveprettybi** : Amen

**pipes** : already done with pestering bar?

**irisbest** : they threw me out bc they got a call

**snowflake** : eye emoji

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : Mick

**heatwave** : yeah it’s Snart

**snowflake** : YES

**irisbest** : wow i guess ill just stay in front of this door and eavesdrop then

**bilance** : taking one for the team

**lesbianda** : bless iris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oliver's step-father looking like clark's uncle is a reference to krypton (a fucking great dctv pls watch it) bc they're played by the same actor - and also _who_ clark's uncle is is the greatest mindfuck ever that i still doubt to this day - and i still can't believe sofie doctormissy beat me to including krypton to our messes smh
> 
> as mentioned, you're gtting two more interludes for this chapter. one will come on tuesday, the other on thursday, and i'm very sure you'll enjoy the second one in particular ;) (hm, whatever could they be?)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> birthdays to plan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed it, [ColdBar's phonecall](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12255837/chapters/46794142#workskin) did get its own interlude.

**bilance** : Cisco & Ronnie can we talk about how perfectly timed your birthdays are this year

**babybibibi** : ikr we’ve been looking forward to it since last year

**snowflake** : it’s true when they noticed Cisco would turn 21 on a Friday? Yelling contest

**lesbianda** : anyone else feel like cait changed a tiny bit recently

**heatwave** : good change 

**bilance** : she did grow fiercer huh

**transco** : she’s always been like this trust me

**snowflake** : in any other group i’d be wondering if i should feel attacked

**lesbianda** : just love, girl

**snowflake** : <3

**bilance** : anyway where we heading tomorrow

**bilance** : birthday kids pls speak

**transco** : i kinda actually wanna go to An Adult BarTM now that i can do so legally but unfortunately my boyfriend is a child

**captaincold** : dont let anyone hear that

**heatwave** : ffs not s&s

**lesbianda** : do we even wanna drink again

**heatwave** : linda what the fuck

**detectiveprettybi** : has mick ever called her by her name before

**babybibibi** : i have an idea

**oliverqueer** : oh god buckle up

**babybibibi** : fuck you oliver

**heatwave** : good idea

**transco** : firmly sure that wasn’t the idea

**transco** : though, i mean,

**captaincold** : yeah

**bilance** : please tell me that wasn’t the idea

**bilance** : been there, done that, never again

**oliverqueer** : fucking rude

**babybibibi** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : we have a blacklight minigolf??

**captaincold** : no central does

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s what i meant

**transco** : #eddieisacentralcitizen2k18

**transco** : also FUCKING NICE IDEA

**lesbianda** : is the thing open past midnight though

**babybibibi** : u think i don’t check if i can ring in my birthday like that

**oliverqueer** : well you guys decide so

**bilance** : more pressing question is if we’re even invited

**babybibibi** : are you kidding me

**transco** : fine by me

**transco** : also let’s bring in wally & co

**babybibibi** : also the quiver

**lesbianda** : sometimes i wonder if none of us have other friends

**heatwave** : not allowed to talk to them

**detectiveprettybi** : m i c k

**captaincold** : they’ll kick us out right away

**captaincold** : too many people

**bilance** : ollie go and buy the minigolf thing

**oliverqueer** : are you crazy

**lesbianda** : oliver already has to deal with one business he can’t have another

**snowflake** : he doesn’t even own that one by himself

**oliverqueer** : i might not like this new side of you

**oliverqueer** : it’s so frosty

**captaincold** : she ain’t called snow for nothing

**lesbianda** : where’s iris i need help defending the man

**transco** : west fam is having a day off

**detectiveprettybi** : making things up to joe huh

**transco** : yeah

**captaincold** : kinda surprised linda didn’t know

**bilance** : she can’t know everything

**lesbianda** : also i’m sitting in class please leave me alone

**heatwave** : nobody’s making ya pick up ya phone

**bilance** : who even has class at 5

**oliverqueer** : a lot of people

**transco** : it’s not even 5 yet :(

**captaincold** : pipes is at work huh

**transco** : ye a h

**bilance** : are you guys gonna have the nerdiest date night ever again

**transco** : kinda actually

**transco** : were gonna eat out

**heatwave** : sure do

**transco** : not that kind

**transco** : though I mean I sure hope he does

**captaincold** : that determination

**transco** : no but like dinner, movie, sex

**bilance** : very cliche

**lesbianda** : at least it doesn’t include a musical this time

**babybibibi** : what movie

**transco** : pac rim 

**detectiveprettybi** : john boyegaaaa

**transco** : heart eye emoji bitch

**pipes** : what’s wrong with musicals

**oliverqueer** : hart and bar are gonna kill us all some day

**babybibibi** : united in their love for musicals

**bilance** : and for cisco

**transco** : :^)

**lesbianda** : musical are so predictable

**pipes** : so is literally any movie

**captaincold** : fight club

**detectiveprettybi** : sixth sense

**oliverqueer** : moana

**babybibibi** : planet of the apes

**heatwave** : prestige

**bilance** : the man from uncle

**pipes** : y’all just didn’t pay enough attention

**transco** : hart where are we heading

**transco** : what am i supposed to wear

**captaincold** : as lil as possible 

**bilance** : that’s the spirit

**detectiveprettybi** : hart is paying huh

**pipes** : (:

**snowflake** : have fun on your date boys

**transco** : thanks <3

**detectiveprettybi** : so minigolf tomorrow yeah

**bilance** : we’re gonna get banned

**oliverqueer** : brings some nostalgia

**captaincold** : i have to agree

**heatwave** : is there alcohol

**lesbianda** : i guess

**babybibibi** : didn’t see anything of the opposite

**heatwave** : hell yeah

**bilance** : fun times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My phone died on me so I'm gonna try to fix it, wish me luck you guys


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday cisco!

**snowflake** : happy birthday Cisco!

**heatwave** : congrats tiny

**bilance** : happy Birthday!

**oliverqueer** : they grow up so fast

**oliverqueer** : happy birthday, cisco

**captaincold** : i assume he’s busy

**babybibibi** : ofc he is

**irisbest** : wouldnt be them if they weren’t

**bilance** : iris!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : how did it go with joe

**irisbest** : chill

**irisbest** : we’re all back to normal

**captaincold** : did y’all tell him your truths too

**irisbest** : pffff

**irisbest** : though wally and bar joined forces on the explaining gender front

**babybibibi** : such a good team up

**lesbianda** : did joe actually keep wally outta school

**irisbest** : yep

**irisbest** : if we’re pulling a west day then all of us are pulling a west day

**heatwave** : what else’d he do, arrest ya

**detectiveprettybi** : probably likely

**bilance** : oh did he do the cliche ‘you stole a cookie i’ll show you an arrest cell’ when you were kids

**irisbest** : ofc who do you think he is

**bilance** : ayyyyy

**irisbest** : he still cant believe hartmon are a thing

**oliverqueer** : lmao why

**oliverqueer** : and i thought quentin was the only one to do that

**captaincold** : papa lance arrested you a lot huh

**bilance** : tommy too

**irisbest** : idk man he just didn’t see it coming

**irisbest** : it’s funny he thought cisco was flirting with me sometimes apparently

**babybibibi** : WHAT 

**lesbianda** : fhfgjghkgkg

**detectiveprettybi** : legends only

**lesbianda** : cisco needs to stop flirting with the ladies

**captaincold** : he did mention that happens when he’s nervous

**irisbest** : the idea of cisco being nervous bc of me

**irisbest** : though apparently that was only when cisco first hang around at ours

**oliverqueer** : rip

**babybibibi** : i love the idea of sco being flustered by you

**lesbianda** : as the world should be

**irisbest** : :*

**heatwave** : y’all getting sappy

**heatwave** : bed time

**babybibibi** : yes dad

**detectiveprettybi** : daddy

**captaincold** : for fuck’s sake

 

**spACEbar** : i already texted you privately but i missed out on being the first one so i gotta stock up

**spACEbar** : happy birthday cisco!

**transco** : are you gonna spend the entirety of class congratulating me

**spACEbar** : maybe

**transco** : thanks @ everyone

**lesbianda** : iconiqué

**detectiveprettybi** : we stan a friendship

**detectiveprettybi** : happy birthday cisco

**transco** : thanks :3c

**transco** : are you joining our party 

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah i’ve got the day off actually

**spACEbar** : aw you could’ve asked joe to bring you there

**transco** : joe’s very much invited to join us

**irisbest** : omg let him live

**lesbianda** : did he try to draw a map of interconnections

**spACEbar** : no but maybe we should

**pipes** : we need to include nate & co too

**transco** : we could even fucking include stein and wells

**irisbest** : bar’s space pals

**captaincold** : i am certain a din a4 paper wouldn’t suffice

**babybibibi** : [gif attached]

**heatwave** : the next person to use this gif will be headless

**oliverqueer** : mick is leading an anti dirk gently agenda

**pipes** : gasp

**bilance** : having class on your birthday sounds so awful

**transco** : it’s ok bc i don’t have much better to do anyways

**transco** : all my friends got class too so like

**bilance** : fair point

**spACEbar** : plus we get to bother our favourite chemistry prof so

**snowflake** : is garrick really so good

**pipes** : oh i bet he is

**oliverqueer** : i have never seen this garrick guy is he hot

**transco** : [image attached]

**captaincold** : do i want to know why you produced that so quickly

**babybibibi** : pretty sure he’s another teacher hartmon thirst about

**pipes** : and what about it

**irisbest** : oh he is hot

**irisbest** : bar you never told me he is so young

**snowflake** : hm he really is

**babybibibi** : cait’s really going for the blondes atm

**babybibibi** : makes me wonder

**captaincold** : [image attached]

**transco** : i love that snart is a fellow meme lord

**oliverqueer** : KUZCO

**babybibibi** : i DO have a great personality excuse me

**lesbianda** : when will we ever discuss oliver’s hidden love for animated movies

**heatwave** : thing he and red can bond over

**spACEbar** : mick there’s a vast difference between animated movies and anime

**heatwave** : both anim

**detectiveprettybi** : he’s got a point

**captaincold** : stop sucking up

**detectiveprettybi** : no i want to suck off

**lesbianda** : wow

**transco** : wow

**pipes** : wow

**babybibibi** : wow

**oliverqueer** : wow

**irisbest** : wow

**heatwave** : don’t fuck cops

**detectiveprettybi** : >:(

**pipes** : a tragedy really

**bilance** : eddie’s progress in life is relative to how annoying he is

**detectiveprettybi** : since when am i the victim of this chat

**babybibibi** : since you became the minority i guess

**detectiveprettybi** : ?????

**babybibibi** : we’re all students except you

**detectiveprettybi** : i am being discriminated

**captaincold** : finally

**lesbianda** : cops have a history of discriminating

**transco** : i mean not that i don’t agree but can we keep that away from my birthday

**oliverqueer** : justice never sleeps

**irisbest** : lmao ollie

**spACEbar** : why do we always escalate so quickly

**detectiveprettybi** : ronnie started it!!!

**heatwave** : such an adult phrase

**bilance** : nice roast mick

**captaincold** : he’s known for those

**irisbest** : wow

**pipes** : oh my god

**transco** : i give up

**transco** : hart come back to bed

**pipes** : :3c

**lesbianda** : have fun lmao

**bilance** : did cisco just go sex > social justice

**spACEbar** : yikes

**lesbianda** : b a r

**irisbest** : they didn’t eat yet

**irisbest** : hop bar come down have breakfast

**spACEbar** : zOOMS

**bilance** : did bar just go food > social justice

**lesbianda** : are you surprised

**captaincold** : that’s the one thing you don’t expect of them and yet

**babybibibi** : food is love

**heatwave** : hell yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did try to draw a map of the characters on a sheet of paper and it really does not work, y'all. i am currently working on creating an interactive page on my tumblr but that's haaaaaard


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they can't even fucking agree on when to meet up. i can't deal with them so you better have them, here

**irisbest** : happy Birthday Cisco Queen ari released a new song

**lesbianda** : oh she did WHAT

**irisbest** : [link attached]

**irisbest** : hell yeah

**pipes** : ‘no tears left to cry’

**pipes** : that might be the most emo title of all time

**bilance** : I’m not sure if I like the song tbh

**oliverqueer** : you always say that

**oliverqueer** : give it a few days and then it’s your jam

**bilance** : ….

**bilance** : true

**lesbianda** : oh I like it

**babybibibi** : naturally

**lesbianda** : what’s that supposed to mean

**babybibibi** : it’s a pretty girl with a catchy song

**irisbest** : pretty sure it’s about that one concert :/

**lesbianda** : :(

**lesbianda** : we love ari

**pipes** : i’ll be here listening to the new p!atd

**captaincold** : they still make music

**babybibibi** : “they”

**babybibibi** : only one guy left

**captaincold** : for real?

**pipes** : yeah brendon is the atlas of emo culture

**heatwave** : aren’t fob still around

**detectiveprettybi** : can’t believe coldwave were emos apparently

**oliverqueer** : i legit haven’t heard from fob since big hero 6

**irisbest** : back with the disney

**lesbianda** : ollie we need to talk about that

**bilance** : if you think there’s a story you’re wrong

**bilance** : oliver just loves animation

**oliverqueer** : shrug emoji

**irisbest** : iconic

**captaincold** : watch out west is gonna assassinate your gf queen

**irisbest** : [gif attached]

**oliverqueer** : ………. Please leave felicity alone

**irisbest** : i’d never hurt her dw

**pipes** : next up: oliver hiring dig as felicity’s bodyguard

**oliverqueer** : jokes on you i wouldn’t have to pay him

**oliverqueer** : he loves felicity

**lesbianda** : we all love felicity

**heatwave** : doesnt your mom still pay him bc of u

**detectiveprettybi** : are you implying dig doesn’t like him

**captaincold** : that’s exactly what he’s saying you moron

**babybibibi** : we do all love felicity

**oliverqueer** : why do i even talk to y’all

**bilance** : you could also go back to only ever hanging out with tommy

**captaincold** : couldn’t queen buy more friends

**irisbest** : oh now leave him alone

**oliverqueer** : maybe i didn’t WANT to buy friends, imagine that

**pipes** : oh no you hurt him

**lesbianda** : goddammit

**snowflake** : :(

**oliverqueer** : shut up im not hurt

**captaincold** : bicon did you fucking tell your girl to check the chat for this

**pipes** : probably

**babybibibi** : we aren’t even in the same building

**lesbianda** : texting exists

**detectiveprettybi** : what the heck is texting

**bilance** : ik ur joking but with this chat it could also be very possible that some ppl forgot about that

**transco** : texting is hard how should you keep track of so many chapters

**transco** : i mean chats

**transco** : autocorrect

**spACEbar** : stop bullying ollie 

**captaincold** : ok

**lesbianda** : coughs whipped

**transco** : ARIANA

**irisbest** : ah there it is

**detectiveprettybi** : didn’t know cisco was such a fan

**lesbianda** : well who isn’t

**heatwave** : hmpf

**snowflake** : i’m neutral

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah well

**pipes** : not really my thing

**spACEbar** : i guess she’s… commercial?

**lesbianda** : : i am disgusted

**transco** : y’all uninvited from my birthday party

**spACEbar** : gasp

**captaincold** : gotta say Cisco uninviting his closest ppl is not what I thought would happen today

**detectiveprettybi** : we’ll just coincidentally be at the same place

**detectiveprettybi** : and definitely have more fun than you

**transco** : do you think if i talk to the dj and say it’s my birthday they’ll play ari’s entire discography

**oliverqueer** : IS there a dj

**babybibibi** : doesn’t say anything about that

**lesbianda** : well we’ll see

**transco** : (i was joking we’re still all gonna hang out right)

**spACEbar** : ofc

**heatwave** : beer?

**captaincold** : probably

**heatwave** : im in

**snowflake** : i’ll watch you mick

**captaincold** : good luck with that

**pipes** : snart are you showing up

**captaincold** : guess so

**transco** : then we better head out early 

**babybibibi** : can’t even join MY birthday celebrations smh

**heatwave** : u go and talk to west about that

**babybibibi** : …

**babybibibi** : i pass

**irisbest** : why are y’all such chicken bout my dad

**bilance** : iris you won’t even tell him you fucked eddie

**irisbest** : bc i don’t want him to kill eddie duh

**detectiveprettybi** : thank you

**spACEbar** : we honestly can’t guess how he would react

**spACEbar** : even wally can’t tell and he’s usually good at that

**lesbianda** : it’s funny bc he hasn’t known him for as long

**transco** : joe is a surprise act

**irisbest** : he lured us into asusming things and then proving us wrong

**bilance** : pure genius

**heatwave** : party when

**oliverqueer** : good question

**lesbianda** : is anyone even still busy rn

**bilance** : tommy just went to shower

**captaincold** : ah right rich ppl come too

**babybibibi** : did he go shower on his own

**heatwave** : brain squad has shower sex

**pipes** : who doesn’t

**spACEbar** : me

**detectiveprettybi** : BAR

**transco** : wow

**bilance** : clapping emoji

**snowflake** : what does everyone think of 7 @ the venue

**pipes** : brain cell coming through

**irisbest** : can you believe hartley admits to having no braincells

**babybibibi** : honestly shook

**pipes** : ‘tis a meme

**oliverqueer** : great cisco ruined hartley

**transco** : it’s an honor

**babybibibi** : guessing 7 is alright with everyone

**captaincold** : it’s fucking minigolf nobody has to be punctual

**snowflake** : alright then!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what happened here i'm not too much of an ari fan myself and i know she's problematic as hell but i guess cisco's just a simple gay
> 
> also shoutout to doctormissy who does, in fact, keep all the chats (and chapters) in line in her chatfic


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i've had people on my social media decide whether glee exists in this universe or not and now these kids have to deal with the consequences

**heatwave** : hbd bicon

**captaincold** : you think any of them is gonna check their phone

**heatwave** : maybe

**heatwave** : shut up and go play with the weirdo

**captaincold** : lmao

 

**pipes** : did you two really fight about Snart wistfully staring at bar 

**snowflake** : it was endearing 

**lesbianda** : they stared back plenty

**bilance** : yeah it was like that fucking romantic tumblr edit shit with the stars and the moon and whatnot

**snowflake** : otp

**transco** : the doorman is still around huh

**babybibibi** : what was his name again

**pipes** : who cares

**irisbest** : eddie really left with amaya huh

**lesbianda** : truly a mash i did not see coming

**bilance** : does he think that if he fucks someone mick fucked it’ll make up to that

**pipes** : honestly who knows

**transco** : eddie is working his way to a threesome

**babybibibi** : foursome

**irisbest** : good for him.

**lesbianda** : a dot? 

**pipes** : aw she means it

**snowflake** : oh hart

**bilance** : i’m. Eye emoji

**lesbianda** : boys truly are something else

**pipes** : ?????

**transco** : i thought we said dot makes it real

**bilance** : iris when did you last get laid

**lesbianda** : been a while huh

**irisbest** : none of y’alls business

**bilance** : definitely been a while

**babybibibi** : iris be young go out

**oliverqueer** : why are we always circling back to discussing sex

**pipes** : ohh the ace spectrum fights

**spACEbar** : hell yeah

**lesbianda** : i take it my impeccable timing of coming online can be passed on among friends

**bilance** : i thought that was my talent

**babybibibi** : wrong it was cait’s with unhealthy behaviour

**transco** : xe’s got a point

**irisbest** : k birthday kid

**pipes** : oh my god happy birthday

**pipes** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : kevin mchale??????

**babybibibi** : who’s the guy is that his coming out bc if yes then brilliant

**lesbianda** : that name rings a bell

**oliverqueer** : glee

**pipes** : ppl are so shook like didn’t they see he’s dating austin mckenzie

**irisbest** : bar didnt you watch glee

**transco** : hartley babe you’re throwing around names like we’re all supposed to know who they are

**bilance** : however, a win for the gays nonetheless

**spACEbar** : i tried to watch glee once but it felt too much and too little like smash at the same time

**lesbianda** : ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh glee

**oliverqueer** : OH HOLY SHIT

**pipes** : it’s funny bc i felt the same as bar but the other way around

**pipes** : cisquito,,,, don’t betray me like this austin was the melchior in deaf awakening

**transco** : got it,

**oliverqueer** : BAR REMINDED ME OF SEBASTIAN

**spACEbar** : i did what now

**lesbianda** : whomst

**pipes** : what

**bilance** : oliver you make even less sense than usually

**oliverqueer** : okay listen

**oliverqueer** : when i first aw bar irl i just thought holy fuck they look like some familiar face and i jsut couldn’t place it

**oliverqueer** : but now. It’s fucking sebastian smythe

**pipes** : i don’t see it actually

**lesbianda** : remind me who sebastian was

**irisbest** : i need popcorn i’m so intrigued

**pipes** : that new warbler dude who joined in s3 who was into blaine

**pipes** : either you hated him or loved him there was no inbetween

**spACEbar** : great that’s the kind of person i want to remind people of

**oliverqueer** : i liked him

**lesbianda** : OH

**oliverqueer** : even though he was an asshole at first

**lesbianda** : yeah no i hated him

**babybibibi** : fhgkgjgkgl

**transco** : so i googled him and

**transco** : [image attached]

**bilance** : holy shit

**irisbest** : i mean… KINDA i guess

**snowflake** : we found bar’s doppelgänger!!!

**pipes** : i stanned him, he had nice character development

**captaincold** : ah great and i thought we found an evil version of bar

**lesbianda** : if you only watch the first half of s3 you can definitely have that

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**bilance** : EYE EMOJI

**bilance** : i don’t agree with oliver easily but he DOES look like bar

**oliverqueer** : told you

**babybibibi** : shit this is so funny happy birthday to me

**transco** : everyone lets meet up at the quiver to watch glee

**spACEbar** : he doesn’t look like me??

**spACEbar** : his face is, like, sharper and meaner and

**spACEbar** : his hair??????

**pipes** : yeah that’s bad s5 hair actually

**lesbianda** : i stopped watching after s3 tbh

**oliverqueer** : s4 for me

**babybibibi** : i love that oliver has a history of watching gay shit and yet he hadn’t even realized he was queer until like recently

**bilance** : legendary

**transco** : oh hey snart did mick throw you out

**captaincold** : no i just chatted with rolf

**oliverqueer** : i…… did know i was queer i just didn’t admit it to myself? 

**oliverqueer** : which is funyn considering that i fucking founded this group at that time

**pipes** : right the porter had a name

**snowflake** : so proud of you oliver

**irisbest** : [stan loona voice] stan ollie!

**pipes** : did you play poker again snart

**captaincold** : lmao you remember that

**transco** : it was only 4 months ago 

**lesbianda** : felt like 15 months tbh i barely remembered

**babybibibi** : it got them a sex toy ofc they remember

**detectiveprettybi** : why do YOU remember

**irisbest** : timing, once again

**bilance** : HEY EDDIE HOW WAS THE SEX

**detectiveprettybi** : pleasant thanks

**oliverqueer** : where’s nate again

**heatwave** : playin indiana jones somewhere

**spACEbar** : adds up

**detectiveprettybi** : omg bar that dude totally looks like you

**oliverqueer** : THANKS

**bilance** : wow, all caps

**spACEbar** : he doesn’t!!!!

**pipes** : we’re gonna settle this

**pipes** : everyone come watch glee

**irisbest** : honestly we dont have anything better to do anyways

**transco** : totally

**babybibibi** : how i dreamt of spending my birthday

**snowflake** : [image attached]

**babybibibi** : BABE

**captaincold** : impressive abs actually

**transco** : can you bring that pudding

**detectiveprettybi** : we have actual vla at the quiver

**transco** : what the fuck is vla

**bilance** : pudding for rich ppl

**pipes** : dutch pudding

**oliverqueer** : it’s very good

**oliverqueer** : ‘for rich ppl’ it doesn’t even cost much

**babybibibi** : ok we’re joining

**spACEbar** : can’t wait to show y’all that aint me

**captaincold** : ofc it isnt

**snowflake** : aw

**pipes** : that’s what you missed on

**oliverqueer** : GLEE

**pipes** : GLEE

**lesbianda** : GLEE

**heatwave** : wtf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here a summary of references bc i promised to do that now:
> 
> \- the image that hartley shares is a screenshot of [this tweet](https://twitter.com/druiddude/status/987184211932033024), where kevin mchale (who played artie in glee) basically comes out to public lmao  
> \- grant gustin was in glee in case you didn't know (as were many more actors of the arrowverse but if i kept making jokes about that doublecasting there would nothing else ever be accomplished. other popular contestants: stein, felicity's ex, felicity's mum, KARA, cat grant's elder son, the fire dude from the ep where iris is the flash, the music meister, SIN) so that makes that doppelgänger thing funny  
> \- also hartley never watching anything beyond the pilot of smash is funny (hopefully) bc his actor andy mientus has been on the show (which i haven't seen because _hey_ , it felt too much and too little like glee for me at the same time lol)  
> \- i have no idea if vla exists in the us but here in germany it's a popular pudding brand (and _vla_ is literaly dutch for _pudding_ )


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hartley and eddie are idiots

**bilance** : that was absolutely useless

**pipes** : i’ve had uptown girl stuck in my head for the past 6 hours

**transco** : PUEEEERTOOOO RICOOOO

**detectiveprettybi** : i loved the universal gay bar experience

**bilance** : dig said the guy absolutely looks like bar

**bilance** : laurel said he doesn’t

**pipes** : im so glad my parents are the final judges

**irisbest** : i was a big fan of hartley and oliver just spiralling and showing us cut numbers

**babybibibi** : im still mad we didn’t watch that michael jackson ep

**detectiveprettybi** : bar was adamant about not wanting to see their doppelgänger blind some guy

**pipes** : HE DIDN’T GO BLIND

**oliverqueer** : y’all weren’t even around for the fandom of it

**oliverqueer** : back when everyone thought blaine got shot

**captaincold** : what did yall think glee was lmao

**bilance** : [cocks gun] surprise motherfuckers

**spACEbar** : okay so he might look a tiny bit like me

**irisbest** : literally what i said but ok

**spACEbar** : sh

**oliverqueer** : SEE

**oliverqueer** : i’m not crazy

**bilance** : eh

**heatwave** : jury’s still out

**detectiveprettybi** : let him live

**captaincold** : aint gonna fuck him

**detectiveprettybi** : why do you guys always think i wanna fuck someone

**detectiveprettybi** : i’m not horny 24/7 i had sex this morning

**irisbest** : show-off

**bilance** : #getirislaid2k18

**transco** : westhawne should get back at it

**transco** : then everyone’s happy

**spACEbar** : i can think of someone who won’t be happy

**captaincold** : hmh

**babybibibi** : they worst thing is i could read that in your voice

**captaincold** : it’s a skill

**pipes** : voices aren’t a skill wtf

**spACEbar** : len certainly thinks so

**transco** : uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh voice kink

**lesbianda** : what kink doesn’t he have honestly

**heatwave** : aint that the truth

**captaincold** : fuck off

**spACEbar** : just telling the truth

**babybibibi** : omg bar is a snitch

**heatwave** : course they are

**heatwave** : becoming a cop

**spACEbar** : not becoming a cop

**transco** : they don’t even get a badge :((

**transco** : i’ve always wanted a badge

**snowflake** : thallen is the mash up we deserve

**captaincold** : don’t give them a shipname

**transco** : eddie you’re stealing my boyfriend can i touch your badge

**heatwave** : euthenics?

**pipes** : …. Do you mean euphemism

**heatwave** : yeah

**bilance** : speaking of how’s the apartment hunt going

**detectiveprettybi** : slow……

**detectiveprettybi** : we haven’t even found one that fits us yet

**irisbest** : are you going for 2 rooms or 3

**pipes** : 2

**detectiveprettybi** : 3

**captaincold** : are you fucking serious

**captaincold** : you didn’t even talk about that

**lesbianda** : oh my god

**babybibibi** : are you kidding me

**oliverqueer** : guys

**pipes** : we did discuss it!!

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah wtf hartley i did say we both need our own rooms what

**pipes** : that’s why it says TWO

**pipes** : for TWO people?

**detectiveprettybi** : living room??????

**spACEbar** : did you ACTUALLY talk about it

**pipes** : we aren’t gonna have big parties at ours i guess that’s clear

**detectiveprettybi** : we need a place to just hang out!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : i don’t always want to see the same four walls

**pipes** : ok i get that we’re both coming form privileged homes there but that’s not necessary?

**pipes** : if we have a big kitchen, it could suffice

**detectiveprettybi** : excuse me are you fucking comparing how we grew up

**detectiveprettybi** : i have NOt been a fucking millionaire

**detectiveprettybi** : and idk what kinda minimalist bullshit ure on at the moment but yeah fuck no

**transco** : i definitely get the vibe you shoudl talk about that in real life

**captaincold** : no i was just about to make popcorn

**spACEbar** : len

**bilance** : yeah no hartley actually locked his door

**bilance** : eddie shouted from his room

**bilance** : guess hart took out his aids

**babybibibi** : well thank fuck we have you as a reporter

**oliverqueer** : no that’s linda’s part

**lesbianda** : while we’re at it!

**snowflake** : so are we… just ignoring that fight

**irisbest** : cait darling they’ll be huddled up in 3h at most dw

**bilance** : yeah dudes be like that

**heatwave** : communication is key

**captaincold** : amen

**lesbianda** : when are we gonna do that first big meetup of the semester

**babybibibi** : we already see each other plenty

**oliverqueer** : we are a club supposed to be meeting point for every lgbt+ student who feels comfortable with joining a group

**oliverqueer** : we are not supposed to just hang out we’re supposed to be open and inviting

**oliverqueer** : so of course we will continue regular meetings, hopefully more than before, and advertise to include new people as well

**transco** : damn ollie

**irisbest** : i would vote for you

**spACEbar** : #oliverqueenforpresident2k28

**lesbianda** : i trained him so well

**heatwave** : kinky

**lesbianda** : literally lesbian

**heatwave** : more kinky

**babybibibi** : omg

**lesbianda** : anyway! We should meet up soon

**oliverqueer** : beginning of may?

**bilance** : i want us up and running in pride month

**transco** : obviously

**oliverqueer** : hm

**lesbianda** : yeah about that

**irisbest** : don’t tell me pride month is cancelled

**oliverqueer** : nooo

**lesbianda** : who do you think we are

**lesbianda** : we just… have plans

**oliverqueer** : big ones

**bilance** : why don’t i know about those

**spACEbar** : ohhhhh they’re foundation related????

**irisbest** : can i fuck bruce wayne this time

**irisbest** : i call shotgun eddie isn’t here i win

**heatwave** : let’s see

**irisbest** : MICK NO

**irisbest** : PLEASE

**bilance** : i want to know what the plan is

**transco** : same

**oliverqueer** : wait and see

**captaincold** : i’ll break into your house and steal your plans

**oliverqueer** : NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- they watched the first ep of grant gustin's character sebastian (3x05 the first time) where the glee club presents a production of west side story, seb and some other guys are going to a gay bar, he gets introduced during a performance of uptown girl and it's THE BEST  
> \- the michael jackson ep is one where two glee clubs fight over who can do mj at a competition, it reaches its peak when grant gustin's character throws a slushie with rock salt into another guy's face. back in the day we really thought he did get shot based on promo stills and our craziness alone  
> \- my sister and her best friend are looking for a flat together atm so you can see what rathathawne's??? thawneway??? thathaway???? idiocy is coming from


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> linda has a mission

**bilance** : i want to go back to my girlfriend

**bilance** : i hate class

**lesbianda** : big mood

**transco** : your girlfriends should be moving here

**lesbianda** : sure i’ll just tell patty to leave behind her entire life

**irisbest** : speaking of whatever became of the lesbians

**irisbest** : the other lesbians i mean

**transco** : ooohhh gossip

**detectiveprettybi** : phone: charged

**detectiveprettybi** : popcorn: ready

**detectiveprettybi** : hotel: trivago

**lesbianda** : maggie and alex?

**spACEbar** : ALEX!

**irisbest** : bar has a small crush on alex

**spACEbar** : no i DON’T

**irisbest** : when you first came back from your trip it was alex here alex there you shouldve seen alex’s arms omg alex is so awesome

**spACEbar** : i admire her!!!

**spACEbar** : as you all would do if you met her

**heatwave** : don’t crush on the lesbian

**snowflake** : linda gave you a talk huh

**lesbianda** : hell yeah i did

**bilance** : praise

**lesbianda** : anyway the lesbians went on two dates so far they’re cute apparently but also, as bar would put it, very badass

**oliverqueer** : cisco tell hartley to make something kosher today

**transco** : he’s not here

**oliverqueer** : ?????

**bilance** : the fuck

**detectiveprettybi** : wait what

**captaincold** : don’t tell me you lost pipes

**detectiveprettybi** : we legit thought he went over to cisco’s after our disagreement

**spACEbar** : oh my god

**snowflake** : don’t worry he’s at ours

**transco** : oh.

**bilance** : well thank god

**lesbianda** : whew imagine if we’d lost hartley

**lesbianda** : bad pr

**transco** : really what we’re going for here

**oliverqueer** : sorry

**snowflake** : ronnie’s got him dw

**irisbest** : at least that

**bilance** : can we be nosy

**detectiveprettybi** : no

**heatwave** : oh cop coming through

**lesbianda** : CHANGE OF TOPICS

**lesbianda** : who’s gonna camp outside barnes & noble with me tonight

**captaincold** : again, curfew

**lesbianda** : i would’t want you anyways

**heatwave** : me too though

**spACEbar** : rip

**oliverqueer** : i’ll bite

**bilance** : what’s at barnes & noble

**oliverqueer** : what’s oh god dammit sara

**bilance** : :*

**lesbianda** : LEAH ON THE OFFBEAT

**irisbest** : what is that

**bilance** : OH TOMORROW?

**lesbianda** : YEAH

**oliverqueer** : what is that

**lesbianda** : SEQUEL TO LOVE SIMON

**lesbianda** : well, the book

**spACEbar** : OH WHAT

**lesbianda** : YEAH

**spACEbar** : OH CRAP

**captaincold** : bar did you even read the first one

**spACEbar** : NO

**irisbest** : we all know bar doesn’t read

**transco** : well they read comic books and mangas

**irisbest** : yeah but otherwise? Too impatient

**spACEbar** : i’d feel attacked but it’s the truth

**spACEbar** : who has the time!

**detectiveprettybi** : bar be like   g o t t a g o f a s t

**irisbest** : that’s them baby

**bilance** : linda do you really need a companion

**lesbianda** : not necessarily

**lesbianda** : though it’d be nice

**bilance** : ok

**lesbianda** : FOR REAL

**bilance** : yeah sure why not

**bilance** : we can cry about our long distance rls together

**lesbianda** : a plan

**transco** : while we’re at it

**transco** : guys.

**transco** : 4 days until infinity war

**spACEbar** : i know im sCREAM

**oliverqueer** : boy the last marvel movie i watched was ragnarok

**spACEbar** : BLACK PANTHER????????????

**transco** : ??????????????

**irisbest** : OLIVER

**captaincold** : lmao queen what the hell

**bilance** : did you watch it snart

**captaincold** : yes

**captaincold** : black excellence? I’m game

**lesbianda** : did bar drag you into it

**spACEbar** : i didn’t *drag* him

**spACEbar** : i was like hey lets watch it and he was like sure

**detectiveprettybi** : bc he can’t say no to you bar

**transco** : i miss hart he would’ve made a hamilton reference

**irisbest** : when will your husband return from war

**transco** : HUSBAND?????

**heatwave** : rat’s wearing ya last name

**lesbianda** : point for mick

**spACEbar** : hartmon otp

**oliverqueer** : anyone wanna watch black panther otgether before infinity war

**spACEbar** : SURE

**transco** : YEAH

**bilance** : not today i’m not home today

**lesbianda** : Yeah we’re not available today

**lesbianda** : and then i need to read my book as fast as possible

**lesbianda** : maybe in two days?

**irisbest** : lmao linda

**lesbianda** : i was promised wlw!!!!!

**bilance** : the content i camp outside a bookstore for

**captaincold** : why didn’t you preorder it on amazon

**captaincold** : i didn’t know ppl still did the camping thing

**transco** : [snart voice] back in my day

**captaincold** : watch it

**lesbianda** : amazon is the enemy

**heatwave** : what

**transco** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : Amazon exploits its workers and the owner could end world hunger without even making a dent in his budget and yet

**irisbest** : damn we out here with the social justice

**transco** : i’m too lazy to lay off amazon tbh

**transco** : also too poor

**spACEbar** : if i ordered my mangas anywhere else it’d take yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaars

**detectiveprettybi** : g o t t a  g o f a s t

**spACEbar** : stop that

**irisbest** : he isn’t wrong

**spACEbar** : shut up!!!

**captaincold** : if i am a criminal does that mean i automatically have to support amazon

**lesbianda** : NO

**oliverqueer** : ex criminal

**oliverqueer** : right

**bilance** : that again

**spACEbar** : yes, EX criminal, ollie

**oliverqueer** : good

**captaincold** : is it a crime if i rob someone who wouldn’t even notice that

**lesbianda** : if you pulled that off it’d be a miracle

**captaincold** : hm

**spACEbar** : i won’t even say ‘no’ bc that’s obvious

**captaincold** : is it

**spACEbar** : yes?

**captaincold** : okay

**transco** : i’d like to inform y’all that hart’s staying at ronnie & cait’s tonight

**transco** : and no i did not PRESS for info

**bilance** : but you asked, yes

**transco** : no i would never dare to ask my boyfriend what’s wrong when he shuns himself off

**transco** : what a crazy idea

**detectiveprettybi** : stressedout_21pilots.mp3

**transco** : shut up

**captaincold** : are we all agreeing that pretty bi needs to shut up?

**captaincold** : did christmas come early?

**bilance** : you don’t even celebrate christmas

**oliverqueer** : you wouldn’t either if it weren’t your birthday

**bilance** : would too!!!!

**bilance** : i’m a nice christian girl

**heatwave** : sure are

**bilance** : mick appears for literally one sentenc eand i feel attacked

**heatwave** : good

**lesbianda** : stan mick!!!

**irisbest** : like we don’t already

**spACEbar** : everything normal

**transco** : except for hartley, i mean

**bilance** : no time for drama we need to get a book!

**lesbianda** : lets grab dinner before

**bilance** : like a date?

**lesbianda** : like a date

**detectiveprettybi** : maybe a date can be your always

**irisbest** : DON’T BRING UP TFIOS AGAIN

**transco** : lol


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's certain revelations about hartley that shock some people

**bilance** : [video attached]

**captaincold** : is that you being chased

**oliverqueer** : BY THE POLICE

**irisbest** : what did we expect tbh

**bilance** : this dude was being racist to linda ok i couldn’t keep quiet

**transco** : legends only

**detectiveprettybi** : i love members of this chat getting in legal trouble for defending someone else in this chat

**irisbest** : lmao why do you sound like this happened more than once

**bilance** : no legal trouble we die like men

**bilance** : sorry the meme was too strong

**transco** : mood

**bilance** : what i meant was: no legal trouble we were too fast

**captaincold** : pretty bi if you open your mouth i’ll punch it

**detectiveprettybi** : i have no idea what you mean

**irisbest** : how’s linda doing :(((

**bilance** : [image attached]

**bilance** : nice hair don’t care

**captaincold** : she wasn’t kidding when she said she’d read it right away huh

**oliverqueer** : linda never jokes about her wlw

**transco** : big mood

**irisbest** : sara pls make sure my bestie gets home safe

**bilance** : i’m guarding her with my life

 

**spACEbar** : HOW’S THE BOOK

**snowflake** : lmao bar

**spACEbar** : i liked the movie let me live

**snowflake** : you’re very welcomed to live

**spACEbar** : thanks

**spACEbar** : how’s hart

**pipes** : i’m fine

**pipes** : heading out to work soon

**spACEbar** : !!!! glad to hear that

**spACEbar** : most importantly that you’re feeling better

**pipes** : thanks

**pipes** : before any of the lurkers ask no i’m not announcing shit in here

**babybibibi** : not yet you mean

**pipes** : shut up

**babybibibi** : rude i gave you my COUCH

**captaincold** : here i thought pipes crashed in the crack

**pipes** : rude

**lesbianda** : THE BOOK IS GREAT

**lesbianda** : I LOVE UNAPOLOGETIC LADIES

**pipes** : hey look my distraction

**captaincold** : lol

**lesbianda** : I’M GOING BACK IN

**oliverqueer** : she’ll be a puddle for a week huh

**spACEbar** : did you want to be productive

**oliverqueer** : we still need to find a date for the club meeting!!!!

**oliverqueer** : tbh i wanted to have it before my birthday but that might be too soon

**irisbest** : we definitely need one before pride month

**irisbest** : getting to know everyone before we go off partying with them

**bilance** : sounds reasonable

**transco** : i love meeting ppl at parties

**heatwave** : ya barely go to parties

**bilance** : damn he’s called HEATwave cause he ROASTS

**captaincold** : yeah

**captaincold** : quite literally

**babybibibi** : oh.

**lesbianda** : oh my god please tell me you’re joking ronnie

**spACEbar** : you… didn’t realize that

**transco** : OH

**captaincold** : how did y’all reach college

**oliverqueer** : don’t confuse them they’ll think you go around freezing ppl

**captaincold** : who says i don’t

**pipes** : oliver doing his homework about the partners in crime lmao

**spACEbar** : mick lighting things on fire has literally been a point of discussion plenty of times

**transco** : YEAH

**transco** : but i didn’t realize his username was relating to that

**heatwave** : next you don’t get frosty’s name

**babybibibi** : NO THAT’S LITERALLY HER NAME

**lesbianda** : everyone’s name relates to their life in some way i thought that was obvious guys

**detectiveprettybi** : what about hartley

**pipes** : what do you mean

**heatwave** : he gotta have his pipes filled

**bilance** : wow

**detectiveprettybi** : what’s pipes to do with you

**transco** : ??? he plays the flute

**captaincold** : that’s what she said

**lesbianda** : wow.

**spACEbar** : i see we’re really mature today

**detectiveprettybi** : HARTLEY PLAYS THE FLUTE

**oliverqueer** : i’ll be real with y’all i thought it was a refeence to harry potter

**pipes** : what?????????

**pipes** : yes ofc i play the flute wtf

**oliverqueer** : chamber of secrets hermione wrote ‘pipes’ on that piece of paper

**lesbianda** : not harry potter again

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : using a dreamworks meme against oliver lol 

**oliverqueer** : the incredibles is disney wtf

**detectiveprettybi** : so lemme summarize hartley is a genius who got in and outta school way too early, studies like a thousand things and got a job in it, knows 6 langauges AND an instrument

**transco** : can you see why i hated him for so long lmao

**pipes** : two instruments

**detectiveprettybi** : TWO INSTRUMENTS?????

**transco** : oh right i forgot about the piano incident

**pipes** : literally how the fuck

**transco** : it wasn’t the most memorable moment where i wanted to strangle you

**heatwave** : kinky

**lesbianda** : can we please get the story

**detectiveprettybi** : i’m overwhelmed

**spACEbar** : eddie’s too impressed to move in with hart after all

**pipes** : looking back at it now makes it even better tbh

**transco** : NO IT MAKES IT WORSE

**transco** : I LITERALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT NOW I UDNERSTAND WHY DANTE WAS *SO* UNCOMFRTOABLE ON CHRISTMAS

**bilance** : PLEASE TELL US

**transco** : there was some event at high school idek what anymore and we had to produce a band outta thin air 

**transco** : bc our school mriaculously didn’t have one

**pipes** : nobody ever cared about that before so like

**transco** : so basically everyone who ever knew how to play any instrument got called together

**transco** : and hartley, because he is an ass, didn’t just take the flute even though he was the only one there for it

**transco** : no he had to go for the piano

**spACEbar** : isn’t the piano like the most basic instrument

**pipes** : next to the guitar it’s the msot popular, yes

**transco** : don’t call me out

**transco** : so yeah. Plenty of people

**transco** : among them my brother

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**captaincold** : was pipes as horny back then

**pipes** : the start of being horny

**babybibibi** : ™

**bilance** : oh god no

**irisbest** : DID HE

**transco** : OF COURSE HE DID

**transco** : hartley, with zero experience in flirting, using fucking bad pick up lines on my BROTHER

**spACEbar** : how straight exactly is dante

**transco** : very

**pipes** : the best thing about it was how pissed cisco got really

**captaincold** : literally how were you unaware of your crush on him

**captaincold** : you flirt with his brother aka a person who looks somewhat like him and pay attention to how much it pisses him off 

**heatwave** : typical mortal enemy behaviour

**babybibibi** : honestly enemies, mutual pining, same thing really

**lesbianda** : i hate this person so much i’m gonna spend all my waking moment thinking about them

**lesbianda** : sounds straight

**lesbianda** : it’s exactly my book fhgkghgjgkg

**spACEbar** : yeah shouldn’t you be reading

**lesbianda** : i took a break to BREATHE

**lesbianda** : bar they’re so DUMB

**spACEbar** : you are allowed to spoiler me as much as you want

**lesbianda** : I LOVE YOU

**captaincold** : wow

**snowflake** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : i ain’t stealing your enby

**snowflake** : are you back to normal yet

**spACEbar** : cait i say this with love but

**spACEbar** : none of your business

**oliverqueer** : wow

**oliverqueer** : that was a statement

**heatwave** : pipes it’d have been so funny if you fucked the other ramon i tell ya

**bilance** : i thought the same hgkgjgjg

**captaincold** : you’d know about that

**bilance** : nah oliver would

**oliverqueer** : you know how are you always doing this when you obviously agreed to dating me

**detectiveprettybi** : 1 2 3 fight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linda may advocate for everyone to shut up about Harry Potter, but here I am telling you to GO READ MY [HARRY POTTER FIC](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20309815/chapters/48148240) IT'S GAY


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look into hartley's phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally i had meant to write the scene set the evening before this chapter (as in, how does hartley end up at cait & ronnie's??) as an interlude, but that just wouldn't happen. so here you see how hartley actually communicates and deals with his breakdown, all the while cheered on by ronnie <3  
> basically, this is mostly set throughout most of the last chapter bc hartley can multitask (ofc he can)
> 
> also: hart is that type of person who saves your contact name once and never in his whole life change it
> 
> i hope the formatting doesn't fuck up too much lol

**Cisquito**

April 24 2018

8:49am

 

How are you

 

11:18am

 

??? babe

jsyk i’m here if you wanna 

Talk. like actually ABOUT stuff

 

 

 

**Ronnie (TA Wells)**

April 24 2018

1:29pm

 

Okay to summarize

i don’t need a fucking 

summary

are you sure?

bc to me it seemed like 

you’re going crazy without a list

fuck off

come on you like order

yeah that explains why

 I’m friends with all of you

you love us shut up

anyway here comes the list

 are you serious

 i literally just left your 

apartment

1\. Ask oliver about the 

scholarship

2\. Talk to Cisco ffs

3\. Ask snart/mick/iris about

 therapy

4\. Clear things up with Eddie 

about the apartment

5\. We’ll get together with Wells 

and ask if he can pull some 

strings at Mercury and get 

you promoted before you go 

crazy from all the boredom

6\. Get laid

7\. Ask Detective West if 

Mick can burn down your 

parents’ company without 

getting into trouble

I love the last two

“Talk to Cisco” wtf am I 

gonna say

just be open with him!!!!!

“Hello yes i love you so much 

i’m gonna burst but you 

don’t have the same feelings

 and I feel like one day 

that will kill me”

“also how is the only time 

you say it back while i eat you 

out behind a restaurant”

okay maybe not those 

exact words

except if that’s the only 

way you get the sentiment across

then those exact words yeah

lmao

i literally told him i don’t care

about that 

god he’ll hate me for lying 

dude

it’s fine!!! It’s a human 

reaction about feelings it 

makes sense

feelings don’t make sense

okay there spock

thanks

honestly. For coming to

get me. 

thank mick, he’s the 

one who called me

aw, he cares

he does

  
  
  
  


**OLIVER QUEEN????**

April 24 2018

3:41pm

 

so

how do I apply for this 

scholarship 

wait I thought your 

tuition is covered

turns out it isn’t

????

my parents OFFICIALLY 

disowned me and 

withdrew the payment

what? When?

Friday

holy fuck

why didn’t you say 

anything sooner

didn’t wanna ruin the moods

that would’ve definitely been 

worth it

is that why you hid @

the braincells’ 

Not only

it was… an accumulation 

of issues

:(

before you start

I do NOT want you to 

pay my tuition

I want to earn it so tell 

me how I apply for the 

scholarship and don’t pull 

any bias on me

hartley you’re literally the 

reason this scholarship 

EXISTS

ofc you’ll get it

if our friendship affects it

 in any way I’ll poison you 

without a trace

😧

we’ll go over it when 

you’re home 

  
  


**Snart**

April 24 2018

3:42pm

 

tell mick I said thanks

i dont have his number so

for what exactly

he’ll know

I don’t like secrets right 

under my nose pipes so spill

i got drunk the other 

night, he told ronnie to

 get me

lmao did you get 

wasted over a fight 

with pretty bi???

more than that actually

it’s. A lot

and i was wondering, bc

 cisco mentioned it to you 

ages ago but i acted like it

 was an outrageous idea but… 

you are familiar with a 

number of psychiatrists in 

central aren’t you

is this what i think it is

are you agreeing to 

look into therapy

i might need it

I guess? Everyone 

seems to think so

yeah the docs will 

decide that for you

like, if you get a 

diagnosis, shit like that. 

I feel like i should go

 to iris with that tbh

would seem logical

then again she isn’t a 

shrink yet

and you HAVE the 

Personal experience

as do mick, bar 

and your boyfriend

cisco’s only there for 

trans reasons bc legal stuff 

wants him to

true

look i feel awful bc 

y’all have actual reasons 

at least meanwhile i’m just 

a whiny ex rich kid

I thought you were a 

homeless poor deaf gay man

🙄

look you don’t need 

trauma to have mental 

health probs, sometimes 

your brain’s shit without 

reason and that’s how life 

is so let me produce a list 

for you

i was informed that lists 

seem to be good for me

see

thanks

any time, kid

  
  


**Hot Wannabe Cop**

April 24 2018 

3:46pm

 

ok look

my family cut me off 

which means I’m nothing 

but my income from Mercury 

atm and that’s shit. 

I’ll try to get a promotion

 but I can’t guarantee anything

 bc I don’t even have a single 

degree yet and also I’m not 

even completely an adult 

yet so things are crazy 

okay

and policemen don’t earn

 that much either so we’re 

trying to find a 3-room 

apartment with so little money 

according to you and I think

 that’s impossible really so 

that’s why i didn’t even consider 

you’d want an extra room

we need to work with 

each other here eddie 

which means maybe you’ll have 

to agree to one room less

i’ll even forget about my bathtub

you wanted a bathtub????

d e s p e r a t e l y

fuck you’re right

fucking hell i got so used 

to not paying for shit i forgot 

how expensive central is

it’s the industry

you know what’d be cool?

open kitchen

like in the quiver

exactly

🙄 why don’t you 

jsut stay in the quiver

privacy

are YOU talking about privacy

sue me

let’s fake a lawsuit so we

get money for our apartment

sure I’ll break your leg

i don’t have insurance 

any more you ass

ok break my leg

I’ll let joe do that

fucking low blow hart

when are you home?

i’ve got work

so like 6 but then 

i gotta talk to ollie

yeha maybe we can 

actually apartment hunt 

together tonight?

look at us being functional 

human beings

speaking of

yes I do really play two 

instruments

fuckighell

take your time

  
  


 

 

**Cisquito**

April 24 2018

 

8:08pm

 

i’m better

thanks for asking

I could tell by you being 

active in the groupchat 

what was wrong?

um

mental breakdown so

 to say

fuck

can I help???

it’s mostly things out of 

your reach so not really

but i’m getting ahold of them

I think?

what are the things?

a whole lot

👀

for one, i’m looking into 

therapy

YOU ARE

FINALLY

i swear things’ll look a lot 

better then

yeah snart’s sending me recs

NICE

and eddie and me are 

dealing with the apartment 

hunt business

SWEET

also my parents withdrew 

my tuition but i’m dealing 

with that too 

wait what

what

when the fuckk

um

friday

hartley rathaway if you tell 

me you kept this information

from me bc it was my 

birthday i’ll

you’ll what?

I don’t know! Do something!

you could tell me you love 

me for being a thoughtful 

boyfriend who didn’t want 

to ruin your birthday

hart,

no i get it. Like i said

and i feel like this 

should be done irl ofc 

but i’m too weak to keep 

my brain working when i 

see your fucking face so

that was kinda……... 

sweet???

let me finish

of course

i know that you just got 

out of a relationship and 

that you spent the majority 

of your life hating me so of 

course you don’t just fall in

 love with me 

and i know we kinda 

turned that into a joke bc 

that’s how we deal with 

everything but it isn’t

because sometimes you 

give me those vibes that maybe 

it’s as serious for you as it is 

for me and in the next moment 

it’s a meme that you DON’T 

love me and yet you’re learning 

a whole new language for me 

and don’t mind hanging out almost 

24/7 and still you onyl told me 

ONCE that you love me and 

when? During sex

now i’m finished

that’s… a lot

and valid

i see you typing 

no it’s my turn shut up

wow

I can’t believe you make me 

do this via text you asshole

i’ve been thinking and 

reflecting about this a lot 

actually and 

yeah you’re exactly right i 

couldn’t just randomly fall 

for you but i did and 

that was scary and i 

DEFINITELY didn’t mean to 

blurt it out during sex

and i didn’t plan to say it 

via text

but

i do love you, hartley. I 

love you more than i 

should be able to considering 

our past

but i do

 

8:36pm

 

ARE YOU IGNORING ME 

NOW

YOU ASSHOLE

STOP CALLING ME 

I’M CRYING

NOW I’M DEFINITELY 

CALLING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they're gonna watch black panther but first discussions need to happen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, coming home from tutoring: oh dear i'm home alone the entire day and have to correct 100 pages of a master's paper.......... hate life  
> me, remembering it's sunday: HEY!!!!!! MY PALS!!!!!!

**transco** : announcement

**transco** : i love my boyfriend

**babybibibi** : FINALLY

**bilance** : awwwww

**spACEbar** : hell yES

**irisbest** : the best news

**captaincold** : your ex having the most passionate reaction is poetic cinema

**babybibibi** : i’ve suffered the most under their unnecessary drama and mutual pining and whatnot

**babybibibi** : so thank FUCK they did it now

**oliverqueer** : in this chat we’re fine with ex partners

**bilance** : are we

**heatwave** : did the small one blurt it out during sex

**transco** : Who says I cant be fucking romantic

**captaincold** : you literally only realized you liked him when he popped a boner while you sat on him

**captaincold** : ramon please

**transco** : oh fuck off

**heatwave** : bingpot

**irisbest** : with Mick i hate that we cant tell whether that b99 reference was  on purpose or not 

**pipes** : glad we’re proceeding with the usual stuff

**oliverqueer** : speaking of

**oliverqueer** : Black Panther today?

**irisbest** : is Linda through with her book

**transco** : TODAY BLACK PANTHER TOMORROW INFINITY WAR

**pipes** : TODAY 4 U TOMORROW 4 ME

**spACEbar** : great now i want to watch Rent

**transco** : NO WE WATCH BLACK PANTHER

**spACEbar** : OKAY

**pipes** : we can always watch rent afterwards

**spACEbar** : hell yeah

**babybibibi** : isnt rent the sad one

**irisbest** : thyre all sad ones

**irisbest** : if there’s one thing i have learnt from bar it’s that all musicals are sad

**spACEbar** : shrug emoji

**captaincold** : hey bicon finished with crying

**babybibibi** : why would i have cried

**lesbianda** : hartmon 

**lesbianda** : just like i cry about bi girls like IN MY BOOK

**snowflake** : we all did 

**bilance** : Caitlin ur too wholesome

**oliverqueer** : on a scale from 1 to 10 how satissfying is it to see your fiance’s ex in safe hands

**lesbianda** : oh ym god ollie

**irisbest** : oliver.

**snowflake** : i am very happy to see cisco and hartley in a happy relationship! 

**snowflake** : if you are implying that there has ever been an ounce of jealousy between the two of us in regard of ronnie, though, then you are greatly misinformed. We’ve all been content in our relationships as long as it worked out, nothing toxic at all.

**captaincold** : i would say you just got roasted but that was snow

**detectiveprettybi** : aw no puns today?

**captaincold** : no bc that’s probs not how she meant it at all

**pipes** : very likely

**bilance** : oliver we all know you have a problematic history with feelings for multiple people

**oliverqueer** : i don’t

**oliverqueer** : yeah

**babybibibi** : polyamorous relationships are founded on communication and trust

**babybibibi** : and, of course, agreement of all parties on that arrangement

**transco** : and this was today’s episode of ‘ronnie explains polyamoury’! Tune in next sunday for more

**irisbest** : it’s…. Not even sunday

**transco** : it sure feels like a sunday

**transco** : now y’all let’s get our asses to the quiver

**lesbianda** : idk man i feel like we talked less rn than usually

**spACEbar** : we can talk irl imagine that

**captaincold** : here i thought y’all would livetweet the movie

**transco** : nah some people just don’t know what they’d be talking about

**transco** : they’re missing the context

**irisbest** : it’s a black kingdom that’s enough context we stan black power

**lesbianda** : iconic

**pipes** : oh snart aren’t you joining us

**captaincold** : i’ve already seen that movie

**transco** : oh no

**transco** : you’re someone who only watches things once?

**spACEbar** : tragic right

**irisbest** : but… how

**captaincold** : it’s boring

**snowflake** : it’s not! You can discover so many new things!

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah like in fight club with the moments where the other dude appears on screen for a milisecond

**transco** : do you reread books snart

**captaincold** : certain ones

**bilance** : oh so twilight

**lesbianda** : he definitely read twilight more than twice

**heatwave** : yup

**oliverqueer** : rewatching IS boring

**irisbest** : oh no not you too

**transco** : it’s not so much about the content but more about the feeling of coming home

**transco** : how do you live without rewatching the first episode of your favourite show every time you’re sad, how you remember how young and naive the characters were

**transco** : WAIT. DON’T YOU GUYS HAVE FAVOURITE MOVIES

**spACEbar** : sometimes it IS about the content

**spACEbar** : so many new details you missed at first

**irisbest** : rewatching stuff is like coming home after a long day and sinking into the arms of your loved one

**captaincold** : you are a sad single west

**irisbest** : am not

**babybibibi** : a teensy bit

**irisbest** : you’ll die

**transco** : yes okay can we hurry up with that and WATCH THE MOVIE

**oliverqueer** : pls i liked the king in winter soldier

**spACEbar** : hmmmmm winter soldier

**bilance** : winter soldier: bisexuality the movie

**transco** : T R U E

**transco** : though you fucking idiots t’challa appeared in civil war

**irisbest** : nobody fucking liked civil war cisco

**spACEbar** : truth

**lesbianda** : i once heard someone say civil war is their fave mcu movie and i died

**transco** : better civil war than age of ultron

**lesbianda** : i died so much

**spACEbar** : i want to watch whatever alternate version of it they saw

**transco** : mood

**oliverqueer** : y’all have an hour to get your asses here with adequate snacks

**transco** : oliver KING

**captaincold** : youre rich why do they need to bring the snacks

**oliverqueer** : dont wanna leave the house

**babybibibi** : valid

**irisbest** : lazy babe

**detectiveprettybi** : stop hitting on oliver he is a happily taken man

**captaincold** : sad single as i said

**spACEbar** : let her be!

**pipes** : leave britney alone

**transco** : :’)

**bilance** : are you crying bc he used a meme

**transco** : i love him

**heatwave** : fuckin idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- today 4 u tomorrow 4 me refers to a song in the musical RENT, which is a supergreat and supersad one. jesse l martin, aka our own detective joe west, plays a main role and i love his character so much  
> \- polyamory is valid  
> \- i have never seen black panther  
> \- whenever i'm entering a depressive episode, i rewatch the flash pilot and do, indeed, look at cisco ramon and mourn the energetic sunshine with a love for all things supernatural. you small guy don't know what's gonna happen to ya and i love you  
> \- while writing this i was like 'oh yeah t'challa back in winter soldier' and then i realized that was NOT winter soldier but i repressed all memories of civil war except the Bike Scene(TM) and civil war WAS msotly about bucky aka the winter soldier so fuck me if you're gonna call me out  
> \- my sister's best friend thinks age of ultron is the best movie of the mcu and i wanna see whatever version of it he saw. this, too, is a movie i have repressed. can you see why i don't watch mcu movies anymore like holy shit you guys okay don't talk to me about marvel you know how it's gonna end


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they watched infinity war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so this chapter includes **spoilers for infinity war** but, like, if *I* can write this chapter even though i haven't watched the movie bc i don't care for it in anyway, then i'm sure y'all marvel stans won't be surprised by them will you

**bilance** : well that happened

 **transco** : no it did NOT

 **lesbianda** : i……. Peter……….

 **transco** : NO

 **spACEbar** : okay i hate that *I* am the one to say this but

 **spACEbar** : the only logical solution is timE TRAVEL

 **oliverqueer** : bar no

 **transco** : what would you want to DO

 **transco** : nothing HAPPENED 

 **transco** : :)

 **babybibibi** : they broke cisco

 **spACEbar** : no SERIOUSLY they CAN’T DO THAT

 **spACEbar** : THEY’RE SOLVING IT AND THE ONLY WAY IT WORKS IS TIME TRAVEL

 **irisbest** : I’M SO ANGRY ABOUT GAMORA

 **irisbest** : MARVEL RESPECT YOUR LADIES PERHAPS

 **snowflake** : i can’t believe they killed them all

 **lesbianda** : i DoNt FeEl So GoOd

 **babybibibi** : tom holland truly hurt my soul

 **spACEbar** : T I M E  T R A V E L

 **oliverqueer** : everyone’s soul

 **pipes** : thanos is such a fucking dumbass like imagine he was among the 50% who’d be wiped out like what

 **pipes** : he goes snap and bam he’s gone

 **pipes** : it would have been so FUNNY

 **transco** : NOTHING IS FUNNY

 **pipes** : plus like didn’t he say every living THING? Are half the plants gone, too? That still means there aren’t enough resources for the amount of people. 

 **pipes** : Thanos makes no sense

 **captaincold** : thanos is a weak af asshole 

 **captaincold** : also why didn’t they just get magneto he’d have snatched that gauntlet like a lil bitch

 **spACEbar** : magneto isnt in the mcu

 **captaincold** : but his daughter is there

 **bilance** : whomst the fuck

 **captaincold** : scarlet witch?

 **bilance** : WHAT

 **bilance** : SCARLET WITCH IS MAGNETO’S DAUGHTER????

 **oliverqueer** : why didnt they make a sherlock joke with strange and tony

 **detectiveprettybi** : sara yes literally how did you not know this

 **detectiveprettybi** : her rbother is still kicking in the xmen franchise and there’s more than enough hints at erik being his dad so it’s not a secret

 **captaincold** : when the fuck is pietro in x-men

 **spACEbar** : new movies

 **captaincold** : ah. Dammit

 **oliverqueer** : snart is old school

 **bilance** : pff i don’t watch xmen i just know that magneto was right

 **detectiveprettybi** : he is

 **captaincold** : right on

 **oliverqueer** : it’s so weird when you two agree

 **pipes** : cisco called me to cry into my ears jkgjgkgkg

 **pipes** : contemplating to take out my hearing aids

 **babybibibi** : he did not tell you he loves you to be treated like this

 **pipes** : …

 **lesbianda** : wholesome

 **spACEbar** : other than the fact that this mess is only gonna be fixed with time travel 

 **spACEbar** : i am genuinely shook that neither tony nor steve died

 **detectiveprettybi** : ok mood

 **bilance** : plottwist they both die in endgame

 **babybibibi** : nooooooooooo

 **irisbest** : can they die so t’challa lives

 **captaincold** :  ^

 **lesbianda** : ALSO PETER

 **oliverqueer** : he really hurt you huh

 **lesbianda** : OLIVER HE FELT IT COMING

 **lesbianda** : HIS SPIDER SENSE

 **lesbianda** : MY BOY

 **bilance** : DON’T

 **spACEbar** : I’M IN PAIN

 **snowflake** : i am so depressed

 **heatwave** : [image attached]

 **detectiveprettybi** : NATE NO

 **oliverqueer** : is ray really out there discussing the physics of antman flying up THANO’S ASS

 **captaincold** : this is the greatest solution

 **captaincold** : the only thing that fucker deserves

 **babybibibi** : aw snart got hurt too

 **bilance** : scott WOULD be that brave

 **irisbest** : is mick really in a groupchat with ray and nate

 **heatwave** : amaya sent me that screenshot

 **irisbest** : makes more sense

 **snowflake** : is scott even around???? 

 **lesbianda** : cait isn’t even dismissing the idea dhfkgjkg

 **babybibibi** : ANT-MAN THEORY LET’S GO

 **irisbest** : bitch carol is gonna save them all

 **spACEbar** : not WITHOUT time travel

 **lesbianda** : can u believe thoooooooo

 **lesbianda** : the fucking phone???

 **detectiveprettybi** : so we’re just accepting the antman theory

 **transco** : we are

 **transco** : at this point i’m just

 **transco** : [image attached]

 **heatwave** : that pic makes me feel sick

 **captaincold** : for real it does ^

 **pipes** : no using spongebob memes around mick, got it

 **heatwave** : just that

 **bilance** : aw sensible

 **captaincold** : vertigo is the enemy

 **oliverqueer** : i love the word vertigo it sounds so mysterious

 **babybibibi** : ikr it would sound good as the name of an adult imprint of a publisher

 **heatwave** : kinky

 **babybibibi** : not THAT kind of adult

 **spACEbar** : i’m so sad i’m gonan go to bed 

 **lesbianda** : aw :(

 **transco** : honestly same tbh

 **snowflake** : i love you all

 **irisbest** : <3

 **heatwave** : damn you nerds really take a movie to heart eh

 **pipes** : we can only dare to feel like the mcu stans

 **captaincold** : pipes you bitch you sniffled too

 **pipes** : that’s lies and slander

 **transco** : it’s true

 **pipes** : oh you go to bed

 **transco** : <3 te quiero

 **oliverqueer** : oh are you THAT kind of couple now

 **detectiveprettybi** : you mean the same as you and felicity

 **oliverqueer** : we aren’t

 **oliverqueer** : okay yeah we are like this

 **bilance** : and we stan

 **babybibibi** : woah were you nice to him just now

 **pipes** : is that the power of cinema

 **bilance** : no it’s felicity’s power

 **bilance** : they are cute don’t look at me

 **oliverqueer** : heh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tga urself i'm bar bc as soon as i heard what the fuck happened in infity war i just went T I M E T R A V E L to everyone's annoyance bc i, like them, am not allowed to talk about time travel ever
> 
> also shoutout to [rux](http://rux-ian.tumblr.com) and [my sister](http://twitter.com/_kippie_) for filling me in on the marvel details lmao
> 
> otherwise, this fucking au right here turned 2 years old a few days back and i can't fully comprehend that


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's planning, among other things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i... i don't even know what this is. in my defense, i wrote this when i was sleep-deprived after reading through 100 pages on some philosophic politics that required my fixing the grammar...... sighs

**lesbianda** : do i remember correctly that we all have wednesday afternoons off

**irisbest** : i have a class at 4????

**lesbianda** : yeah but afterwards. Early evening, whatever

**lesbianda** : lets meet up on wednesday

**detectiveprettybi** : wtf we literally had a big meet up like thrice this week

**lesbianda** : eddie, i lvoe you, but i mean the college club meet-up

**detectiveprettybi** : oh

**detectiveprettybi** : the one i no longer go to

**irisbest** : i mean you could probably show up to meetings sometimes,

**detectiveprettybi** : nah wouldn’t that be weird

**transco** : a little probably

**detectiveprettybi** : thank you cisco

**transco** : sorry

**lesbianda** : member at heart

**lesbianda** : anyway what’s UP

**babybibibi** : why the pressure all of sudden

**lesbianda** : oliver wants it to happen before his birthday!!!!

**lesbianda** : it needs to happen before june!!!

**lesbianda** : we’re young and the world is a dangerous place where nobody is safe so let’s live a little!

**transco** : infinity war fucked you up good huh

**lesbianda** : he was in HIGH SCHOOL cISCO

**transco** : I KNOW

**lesbianda** : HE’S LIKE AS OLD AS WALLY

**irisbest** : hang on now we’re not imagining wally disappearing into thin air caused by some supernatural shit are we

**lesbianda** : fucking hell ofc not

**lesbianda** : who the hell would even WANT to hurt wally

**detectiveprettybi** : he’s. Baby

**transco** : glad we cleared that up

**babybibibi** : okay so back to the meet up

**babybibibi** : cait and i are free

**transco** : isn’t that a bit of a short notice here

**lesbianda** : i’m gonna make flyers, they’ll raise attention even if the people’s can’t fit it into their schedule that curtly

**irisbest** : you’re really set on this huh

**lesbianda** : if nobody shows up it’s just gonna be the squad

**spACEbar** : i feel like we should meet up more regularly anyways

**spACEbar** : within the club context, i mean

**oliverqueer** : THANK YOU

**oliverqueer** : i’ve been sAYING this FOR MONTHS

**bilance** : half of us fucking live together

**oliverqueer** : i’m game for wednesday let’s go

**captaincold** : wait when exactly

**irisbest** : class ends at 5:45 so i guess 6?

**heatwave** : yeah hard pass

**lesbianda** : MICK

**spACEbar** : oh come on miiiiiiiick

**heatwave** : i literally don’t have time

**lesbianda** : you have no class and no work you’re just talking shit

**heatwave** : shrink appointment bitch

**lesbianda** : oh

**lesbianda** : oh damn. Sorry

**pipes** : mick used the b word and is not getting any shit

**lesbianda** : yeah bc i fucked up first you ass

**oliverqueer** : so. Not wednesday

**heatwave** : no hell have at it

**heatwave** : imma be back next time 

**irisbest** : what about you snart

**captaincold** : what bout me

**irisbest** : dontcha have therapy the same day as mick

**captaincold** : no mine’s on thursday mornings this semester

**spACEbar** : huh when did that change

**captaincold** : when i took up weekly sessions

**snowflake** : oh! When was that?

**captaincold** : can’t you guess

**detectiveprettybi** : was a requirement after the last fuck-up

**bilance** : and here i thought you used your brian and noticed something maybe

**captaincold** : least i can spell brain

**bilance** : wow, mature, getting back at the typos

**transco** : wow everyone’s in quite a bad headspace atm huh

**oliverqueer** : yeah are we SURE we want to have a meeting NOW

**babybibibi** : oliver it has been your idea all along

**oliverqueer** : you don’t say

**oliverqueer** : but do we want new people to meet us when we’re like this

**spACEbar** : marvel turned us into a mess

**irisbest** : bold of you to assume we weren’t a mess before

**spACEbar** : ok true

**detectiveprettybi** : we’re the best mess i have ever seen

**captaincold** : oh don’t be cheesy

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah you’re never cheesy

**pipes** : im seriously torn between throwing my phone against the wall or checking the drama here

**transco** : yeah the vibes just 

**transco** : ain’t good

**heatwave** : go off and get off

**transco** : we’re not even in the same space :(

**captaincold** : has that ever stopped you from getting some

**pipes** : we’re no sex machines

**babybibibi** : freddie mercury, waking up in a sweat: WOT

**bilance** : the og bicon

**detectiveprettybi** : hell yeah

**irisbest** : who else can’t wait for the biopic!!!!

**oliverqueer** : im literally named after the band

**snowflake** : that’s not how it works

**oliverqueer** : we’re named after the band. I won’t accept criticism

**bilance** : valid tbh

**captaincold** : hah you can only dream

**lesbianda** : ok we’re back to normal

**lesbianda** : we’re scheduled for wednesday 6pm

**spACEbar** : what about mick!

**lesbianda** : he’ll miss that one but it’s ok he said

**lesbianda** : you know, we know how to have private conversations

**transco** : i want to peek into your dms tbh

**captaincold** : they just swap random snaps of ppl to gossip about

**snowflake** : nooooooooooo

**snowflake** : tell me you don’t

**lesbianda** : WE DON’t

**lesbianda** : THAT’S NASTY

**lesbianda** : WE AIN’T NASTY

**detectiveprettybi** : aren’t you now

**heatwave** : wanna eat my fist

**detectiveprettybi** : well if you ask like that

**captaincold** : i’m in it with my whole heart when i say _yikes_

**bilance** : you don’t have a heart

**heatwave** : tru dat

**spACEbar** : that’s not true!!!! :(

**transco** : maybe snart had a heart but now it’s bar’s

**irisbest** : 100%

**oliverqueer** : okay maybe we’re not that far off from normally

**oliverqueer** : so…. Club meeting on wednesday?

**pipes** : this groupchat is full of superheroes and our superpowers are badly done distractions

**heatwave** : wtf imma villain

**captiancold** : ditto

**pipes** : actually yeah same

**oliverqueer** : y’all. Concentrate.

**detectiveprettybi** : okay dad

**irisbest** : daddy

**heatwave** : hey lance

**bilance** : no i did not call him daddy

**heatwave** : hm

**captaincold** : as if lance were a sub

**bilance** : didn’t we want to focus

**captaincold** : eye emoji

**heatwave** : oh damn what

**lesbianda** : not everyone is into d/s

**spACEbar** : they’re gonna speculate about this the whole evening now

**oliverqueer** : i give up

**lesbianda** : dw ollie i got this

**oliverqueer** : i have no doubt <3

**lesbianda** : <3

**irisbest** : i’ll help!!!

**oliverqueer** : <3333

**irisbest** : uwu

**pipes** : we need to get iris laid

**pipes** : stop hitting on my supportive uncle!

**bilance** : are you saying that oliver is old

**oliverqueer** : we got it, i am old, let’s go

**spACEbar** : aw we love you ollie

**oliverqueer** : we know you like old guys

**transco** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**babybibibi** : BOY

**detectiveprettybi** : SHOTS FIRED

**bilance** : well damn ollie

**irisbest** : dhgkjgjgkgk

**lesbianda** : the meeting is gonna turn into a fight club isn’t it

**heatwave** : NO

**heatwave** : i aint gonna miss THAT

**heatwave** : yall BEHAVE

**transco** : wow damn well now we have to listen

**pipes** : yeah if mick says so

**captaincold** : now y’all are just getting annoying

**babybibibi** : aw! We weren’t before?

**captaincold** : bold of you to assume

**detectiveprettybi** : still so naive

**captaincold** : for once, pretty bi knows what’s up

**oliverqueer** : i swear something is different between you two

**lesbianda** : plot twist snart and eddie hooked up

**detectiveprettybi** : yIKES

**captaincold** : wtf park i am a man of HONOR

**pipes** : this is fun

**detectiveprettybi** : excuse you what exactly is not honorable about me

**captaincold** : it’s a principle

**transco** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : snart doesn’t fuck cops period

**oliverqueer** : sounds like a good summary yeah

**lesbianda** : okay i need to make some flyers or some shit see you

**spACEbar** : do we know someone who does graphic design

**babybibibi** : we know so many people that you’d think we would

**babybibibi** : but i’m blanking

**irisbest** : linda has her contacts dw

**transco** : bless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wally in literally every media that includes him: bye i'm gone  
> me: NOT ON MY WATCH
> 
> also, unrelated but if y'all wanna know how linda and patty met, [go here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12255837/chapters/49193459)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> linda needs to SLEEP

**lesbianda** : okay who helps me put up these babies

**transco** : how did they turn out

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : i didn’t realize wednesday is may 2nd

**lesbianda** : if you’re gonna claim you can’t come bc you gotta mourn hogwarts or whatever the fucking fuck

**pipes** : linda what is it with you and harry potter

**lesbianda** : you haven’t unlocked my sad backstory yet

**detectiveprettybi** : ??? we have all unlocked each other’s sad backstories

**captaincold** : tf is sad about harry potter

**oliverqueer** : lOtS oF tHiNgS

**irisbest** : lmao that’s no sad backstory linda just thinks it’s overrated

**lesbianda** : in this house we stan percy jackson

**transco** : speaking of I just remembered I can’t do wednesday, the burning maze comes out on tuesday 

**snowflake** : I thought I’ll get it first 

**babybibibi** : idea: you both buy your own copies 

**babybibibi** : you’re both slow readers how did sharing ever work

**snowflake** : patience my dear

**lesbianda** : i never read the sequels lol

**transco** : WHAT

**transco** : BUT MY DOPPELGÄNGER

**captaincold** : is it as much your doppelgänger as that glee dude is bar’s

**snowflake** : well i mean, leo is mexican. And has fire powers

**heatwave** : awesome

**snowflake** : but he tinkers a lot and keeps making popculture references and generally bad jokes

**captaincold** : huh sounds like the small one alright

**transco** : heh :1)

**snowflake** : linda you should read heroes of olymp, it really gets better with the diversity

**lesbianda** : ye i know nico comes out in it right

**transco** : well yeah

**transco** : but there’s lots of poc!!!!

**snowflake** : and now trials of apollo with its bi main character

**oliverqueer** : didnt he write other mythologies too

**transco** : YES but i didnt read them yet lol

**snowflake** : yeah there’s one about egyptian mythology and one with nordic/germanic. Like thor and stuff. We didn’t read them yet

**lesbianda** : great you reminded me of marvel

**transco** : there’s also a new imprint with other religions

**transco** : the first was about hinduism SO SARA!!!!!!

**pipes** : she’s out doing whatever

**detectiveprettybi** : linda btw the poster is nice

**lesbianda** : finally somebody who appreciates me

**oliverqueer** : hey! I appreciate you a lot!

**irisbest** : so do i!

**lesbianda** : great then the two of you can help me put them up

**spACEbar** : somehow i feel like the “if you’re late, you’re straight” on there is aimed at me

**lesbianda** : it might be

**spACEbar** : rude

**detectiveprettybi** : how does your always being late and your anxiety even work together

**detectiveprettybi** : i always thought punctuality is an anxious trait

**spACEbar** : everyone is different,,,,,,,

**irisbest** : and bar gets distracted easily, they’ve been like that since forever

**spACEbar** : somehow i really feel offended

**irisbest** : i’m speaking of LOVE here

**lesbianda** : same, honestly

**lesbianda** : so now, if somebody could help me. I want posters in every faculty and if i do it myself i might never finish

**heatwave** : take red they’re fast

**spACEbar** : i was gonna offer my help anyway

**detectiveprettybi** : i gotta work soon unfortunately

**oliverqueer** : let’s go group activity

**heatwave** : i need to work too

**lesbianda** : only tonight 

**lesbianda** : you’re joining us now

**irisbest** : snart too

**captaincold** : why

**irisbest** : principle

**snowflake** : it’ll be fun!!

**captaincold** : sighs

**pipes** : you’re soft Snart

**captaincold** : you better hide from me bc I’ll murder you

**transco** : no attacking my bf here i still need him

**heatwave** : kinky

**detectiveprettybi** : i feel really excluded lately :(((

**spACEbar** : you literally live in the quiver

**irisbest** : yeah and YOU want to move out there eddie

**captaincold** : soon the detective will be the only one connecting pretty bi with any of us

**oliverqueer** : i still don’t really see what MY connection to detective west is

**babybibibi** : ^

**transco** : we’re all in this together

**snowflake** : [gif attached]

**lesbianda** : yes thanks for that song stuck in my head now y’all go to the uni

**lesbianda** : and bring me a coffee

**oliverqueer** : linda for how long have you been working on that

**lesbianda** : what do you think

**snowflake** : lindaaaaaaa

**irisbest** : eddie instead of dragging hart out of the quiver you should move in with linda

**irisbest** : keep her in check

**captaincold** : you really think pretty bi could keep ANYONE in check

**lesbianda** : nobody has power over me

**oliverqueer** : okay we’re gonna keep linda isolated and watched until wednesday

**pipes** : sleepover

**spACEbar** : a good idea

**captaincold** : [image attached]

**transco** : woah did mick buy coffee for the whole group

**captaincold** : nope they’re all for linda apparently

**lesbianda** : mick is THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD

**irisbest** : wow thanks for that

**lesbianda** : well i don’t see you bringing coffee

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : yeah not any more

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : this is so cruel

**spACEbar** : mick literally bought six cups of coffee for you

**snowflake** : someone make sure that she won’t drink them all

**transco** : you make sure of that

**snowflake** : i’m small and appreciate being alive

**heatwave** : valid

**babybibibi** : aw mick likes cait

**captaincold** : everyone likes snow

**transco** : aww snart likes cait

**captaincold** : …

**bilance** : jesus you’re with someone outside this group for a few hours and miss everything

**transco** : why do you have other friends

**bilance** : i am a friendly person

**oliverqueer** : pfffff

**pipes** : you can’t have other friends!!!

**bilance** : oh chillax i was at the library where are we all meeting

**lesbianda** : the only person i trust

**irisbest** : again, fucking wow.

**spACEbar** : ehjfhfkjff linda we’re literally all on our way there

**oliverqueer** : she didn’t sleep jus ignore her

**captaincold** : are we all agreeing we’re gonna bed her in mick’s arms and take care of the posters like that

**pipes** : yep

**bilance** : definitely

**transco** : yes

**snowflake** : please

**irisbest** : reasonable

**spACEbar** : yeah,

**lesbianda** : NO!

**lesbianda** : MY POSTERS!

**detectiveprettybi** : linda, please. Shut up. 

**babybibibi** : we literally can’t work like functional human beings huh

**heatwave** : thank fuck not

**heatwave** : gotta have fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> linda thinks harry potter is overrated but she still has every plot detail and date ingrained into her brain, what an icon
> 
> rick riordan put out a new book last week (the one after the burning maze (which is the one mentioned here)) (i can't believe they'll still have to suffer through that one. god rip @ cisco & cait i guess) and while i can't read it until christmas, that doesn't stop me from promoting my fav author right here!!!! please read literally any of rick riordan's stuff but specially the kane chronicles because they don't get anough love
> 
> you know what else came out last week? the last installment of the backstagers by our very own andy mientus! i read it right away and if you want a wholesome queer musical-related story with magic then I got something for you


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we got a few visitors and also there's some bruce content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love the beginning of this chapter because it's also ONE DAY MOOOOOOOREEEEE until the arrowverse is back. and also i go back to uni tomorrow but that's trivial

**transco** : [gif attached]

**pipes** : [gif attached]

**irisbest** : great now i don#t even know what song to have stuck in my brain

**spACEbar** : i mean. Annie is incredibly awesome but les mis is a classic

**transco** : OOOOOOOOOONE MORE DAAAAAAAAY BEFORE THE STOOOOOOOOOOOORM

**transco** : that was me agreeing

**bilance** : we kinda figured as much

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah.

**irisbest** : you can still tag along eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : i’m literally stuck in a car wih your father during that meeting

**babybibibi** : oh are you gonna talk about it

**pipes** : eddie be like “shall i join my brothers there”

**transco** : are you implying that eddie is marius

**spACEbar** : hartley you literally ARE marius

**spACEbar** : you went from rich kid to living in poverty

**captaincold** : and you know a shit ton of languages

**heatwave** : “living in poverty”

**heatwave** : he’s literally living with billionaires

**pipes** : SNART DID YOU READ THE BRICK

**captaincold** : perhaps

**pipes** : is it okay that i feel very attracted to you again

**transco** : lol that ever stopped

**spACEbar** : we’re all used to that

**lesbianda** : ot4

**oliverqueer** : just a few rules for tomorrow bc we don’t want to freak out the newbies already

**pipes** : why rules

**babybibibi** : yeah you make it sound like we’re weird

**bilance** : …

**lesbianda** : …

**irisbest** : …

**heatwave** : y’all are freaks

**transco** : thanks mick

**heatwave** : yo

**oliverqueer** : can i talk or do i need to make laurel write a contract

**detectiveprettybi** : oh pleaSE

**transco** : i heard about those an i’m genuinely curious

**pipes** : oh no please don’t

**irisbest** : let us talk to the legend

**bilance** : pfff laurel’s no legend

**oliverqueer** : fine laurel it is

**lesbianda** : oh are her and tommy actually back to being a thing now? Did we ever talk about that

**oliverqueer** : give me ten minutes

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah they’re disgusting

**pipes** : all heart eyes

**bilance** : they’re ALWAYS like that when they get back together

**irisbest** : what are they like after a break up

**bilance** : exaggeratedly polite and stiff

**bilance** : they don’t even hate each other! They’re just weird!

**babybibibi** : lmao we were more human

**transco** : definitely

**oliverqueer** : By the power invested in me by Oliver Jonas Queen, I, Dinah Laurel Lance, am hereby distributing the rules for the next meet-up of Central City College’s LGBT+ club. Addressees of those are all the members of this chat save for Edward Theodore Thawne.

**detectiveprettybi** : hey why 

**lesbianda** : you’re no student any more

**irisbest** : you’re not there tomorrow????

**detectiveprettybi** : makes sense

**oliverqueer** : 1. No making-outs while the regular meeting is still active.

**pipes** : lame

**oliverqueer** : 2. No more than two people should be on Michael Lincoln Rory’s lap at a time.

**oliverqueer** : 3. Any discussions of kinks, death wishes/dreams/deja vu’s and crimes are to be avoided.

**oliverqueer** : 4. That includes any jokes concerning incest, too.

**oliverqueer** : 5. No threatening each other’s lives or body parts.

**oliverqueer** : 6. No alcohol, drugs or other similar substances to be around. Coffee excluded.

**oliverqueer** : The rules are established to not freak out any potential new members of the group who are in search of support. This is a safe space for minorities and should not seem too tightly knitted already, so best to limit the amount of inside jokes, too. Be friendly and open.

**oliverqueer** : That was about Oliver’s rules, but can I just say: You guys are a fucking weird troupe.

**bilance** : lmao don’t act like youre surprised sis

**captaincold** : pretty bi’s not even there and queen’s scared of his comments lmao

**irisbest** : why aren’t we allowed on mick’s lap >:(

**transco** : ^

**transco** : i thought that request was for linda and me but okay

**detectiveprettybi** : Mick won’t be there either!!!!

**pipes** : i love that coffee is explicitly stated

**spACEbar** : i’m a fan of these rules

**babybibibi** : course u are

**transco** : hey laurel how’s tommy in bed

**oliverqueer** : Why ask me when you have Oliver around?

**detectiveprettybi** : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**pipes** : SHOTS FIRED

**bilance** : im lauGHING

**spACEbar** : omg

**babybibibi** : if it weren’t for felicity there’d be another ot3 in town

**captaincold** : they weren’t called power trio for nothing

**transco** : anyone else keep forgetting snart likes gossip as much as the next person

**heatwave** : it was good for checking out rich ppl

**babybibibi** : did you ever even pull a stunt before west busted your asses

**bilance** : how did you get that mouth on you

**lesbianda** : honestly i’m shook did xe ever speak to them like that

**transco** : 99% chance xe’s high

**detectiveprettybi** : ronnie smokes weed??????

**babybibibi** : it’s for medical reasons

**heatwave** : sure

**captaincold** : i will not say anything about crimes that might have been committed

**detectiveprettybi** : thank you

**captaincold** : that being said robbers who take money out of the register are dumb as shit

**captaincold** : money only means its value but when you steal shit you can talk people into buying it for more

**heatwave** : oh no you got him started

**transco** : welcome to snart’s ted talk

**pipes** : he has a lot of those recently

**snowflake** : yeah it’s weird

**lesbianda** : wow cait called you weird

**oliverqueer** : y u all so invested in my sex life

**pipes** : bc you’re hot tommy

**transco** : [shrug emoji]

**lesbianda** : is Oliver just passing around his phone

**oliverqueer** : still thnks laur needs it

**lesbianda** : how’s things with your girl

**oliverqueer** : wonderful thx

**snowflake** : awwwww

**bilance** : OH MY GOD Y’ALL PLEASE CHECK BRUCE’S INSTAGRAM

**oliverqueer** : i h8 ur sudden topic chnges

**captaincold** : i h8 that ur txting skillz stayd stuck @ 2005

**captaincold** : that hurt. Even sarcasm isn’t worth this

**transco** : dedication

**bilance** : GUYS THAT WASN’T A DRILL

**detectiveprettybi** : BRUCE WHAT????

**irisbest** : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**bilance** : I ASKED THE SAME THING

**babybibibi** : OH WORM

**pipes** : WAIT HANG ON

**lesbianda** : isn’t that the kid from the police academy

**lesbianda** : didn’t he reference him in posts frequently

**bilance** : yes but this feels differently

**irisbest** : EDDIE

**irisbest** : YOU TEXT WITH HIM

**oliverqueer** : wait eddie txts w bruce wayne?????

**pipes** : yes tommy keep up

**detectiveprettybi** : not as much any more tbh. It’s sad

**heatwave** : he just kept ya warm to fuck

**detectiveprettybi** : fine by me honestly

**lesbianda** : i’m gonna text clark kent

**spACEbar** : hey tommy can you give oliver his phone back please

**oliverqueer** : i didnt wanna tlk 2 u anyway

**captaincold** : hm sure

**oliverqueer** : what’s the drama

**oliverqueer** : ah okay he told me

**oliverqueer** : wait which post

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : it’s cute tbh

**oliverqueer** : oh

**transco** : do you know anything about this

**oliverqueer** : um

**bilance** : OLIVER

**irisbest** : don’t murder him irl we need the intel

**oliverqueer** : i need to ask if i can pass on info

**detectiveprettybi** : let’s go glare at him @ quiver ppl

**pipes** : hell yeah

**transco** : it’s been ten minutes

**spACEbar** : we’ve already started conspiracy theories

**captaincold** : ofc you have

**spACEbar** : you know us too well

**babybibibi** : what’s the verdict

**irisbest** : only the most obvious thing

**irisbest** : bruce is his legal father and finally grew up to that task

**oliverqueer** : honestly? That’s pretty close

**pipes** : HOW DO YOU TYPE THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

**oliverqueer** : only thing straight about me

**detectiveprettybi** : WOW HE GRINNED AS HE TYPED /THAT/

**lesbianda** : oliver has too much power on his hands

**transco** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN CLOSE

**oliverqueer** : he’s not bruce’s kid

**oliverqueer** : but he did take him under his wing

**spACEbar** : woah woah woah slow down

**spACEbar** : are you saying bruce wayne randomly became a fATHER

**irisbest** : DILF DILF DILF

**oliverqueer** : not RANDOMLY

**oliverqueer** : he’s contemplated about it for a long time

**lesbianda** : wait how long have YOU known

**oliverqueer** : i haven’t known he’s gonan go through with it

**captaincold** : oliver jonas queen

**transco** : snart is planning a murder

**babybibibi** : for the gossip!!!!

**oliverqueer** : he might have… asked me for my opinion

**irisbest** : w h e n

**oliverqueer** : after the gala?

**pipes** : for the record: eddie just let out the loudest shout

**pipes** : “FIRST HE FUCKS ME AND THEN HE GOES AND ADOPTS A KID”

**snowflake** : where’s dig

**bilance** : not present

**bilance** : tommy and laurel are just eye emojis at this point

**pipes** : “HE DIDN’T /ADOPT/ HIM”

**spACEbar** : foster kid high five!!!

**transco** : wow. Bruce wayne. A dad.

**captaincold** : how old is he again

**lesbianda** : 28?? I think?

**babybibibi** : And then he takes in a kid?????

**snowflake** : that’s so young

**irisbest** : my dad had me when he was 25 so

**pipes** : oh for real

**transco** : no wonder joe looks so good. He’s young!

**bilance** : okay so 28 is young and 47 is also young. Got it.

**detectiveprettybi** : i cannot believe! Bruce wayne!

**lesbianda** : BRUCE THOMAS WAYNE

**lesbianda** : THE MAN

**oliverqueer** : ok so now you know

**oliverqueer** : he said it’s okay to tell you but guys, quiet to everyone else ok

**transco** : aw so we’re not supposed to tell random strangers we’ll only meet tomorrow that we know the secret behind bruce wayne’s latest insta post

**oliverqueer** : obviously?

**transco** : yeah that was more an ironic summary

**heatwave** : watch if anyone shows up

**lesbianda** : excuse you my posters are EVERYWHERE

**lesbianda** : i expect at least one little queer,,,,

**captaincold** : plot twist there aren’t anymore at this uni

**snowflake** : statistically that statement’s unlikely

**spACEbar** : we do know so many lgbt+ ppl the ratio of central is soon met

**transco** : 11 out of us, wally, jax, hr, ray, nate, amaya(?), singh, singh’s husband, hr’s husband, axel (ugh),

**irisbest** : that’s not THAT many tbh

**babybibibi** : make the world queer!

**detectiveprettybi** : y’all gotta count all the people hartley and mick have fucked

**transco** : [a great big world voice] eeeeeeveeeeeryooooone is gaaaaaaaaaaay

**lesbianda** : that’s the spirit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -[this](https://media2.giphy.com/media/3rgXBAS32EgYVMS3MA/source.gif) is the gif Cisco used and [this](https://media.giphy.com/media/Aj7sEdyTLY27m/giphy.gif) is Hartley's  
> \- i wrote the "hartley has parallels to marius" joke before i remembered that andy mientus did, in fact, play marius pontmercy on broadway  
> \- on an unrelated note, i do have a meerkat plush that i called marius pontmeerkat. i thought you guys would appreciate that. (also, i have a meerkat pencilcase that's called sebbo in reference to sebastian smythe. i don't do things without fandoms, as you can tell)  
> \- did any of you read red, white, royal blue and also get some oliver/laurel/tommy vibes from alex/nora/june? (like. Slightly. We ain’t shipping actual incest here bc we aren’t that fucked up)  
> \- yep, bruce did that.  
> \- you're getting his instagram post in an interlude on thursday!!!! watch out for that!  
> \- this entire fucking series is named after a great big world's song "everyone is gay". and finally i use it in a chapter


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first meet-up of the semester happened

**detectiveprettybi** : Update Update Update 

**captaincold** : did West let you go already

**detectiveprettybi** : he’s as invested as i am

**transco** : sounds fake but okay

**detectiveprettybi** : I don’t want no more surprises, kids, so you better spill.

**bilance** : that’s a turn of events

**lesbianda** : joe!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : Nope me again

**captaincold** : damn

**detectiveprettybi** : rude

**detectiveprettybi** : joe gave it back swiftly bc “well outing and that stuff, right?”

**bilance** : is there anyone here not out to joe lmao

**transco** : eh kinda 

**transco** : but i’d be cool with him knowing im trans so

**irisbest** : my dad’s a little confused but he got the spirit

**oliverqueer** : so we’re just ignoring that him and eddie are suddenly pals

**pipes** : not the weirdest thing that has happened

**oliverqueer** : to us? Uh yeah it is

**snowflake** : oh have you guys heard there are zombies in seattle

**heatwave** : theres what now where

**detectiveprettybi** : can we go back to the question

**snowflake** : yeah!

**snowflake** : well not literal zombies but they do share some characteristics, it’s a whole epidemic

**spACEbar** : wait wh a t th e f u ck

**snowflake** : it’s probably just temporarily since it’s a side effect from a new vaccine against a local illness so don’t you worry

**irisbest** : damn the anti-vaxxers are gonna come for that huh

**babybibibi** : cait’s prepared for them

**transco** : <3333

**spACEbar** : that’s. So wild. I’m still not over that

**spACEbar** : imma google that as a goodnight story later hECK

**detectiveprettybi** : joe is growing more impatient by the minute please you guys

**pipes** : who even said we’re allowed to talk to you about them. It’s a safe space and we don’t out people

**pipes** : jk we asked if they’d be okay with that

**bilance** : snart can I just say you looked like a goddamn snack in that vest

**detectiveprettybi** : you did???? aw

**irisbest** : oh hell yeah

**pipes** : honestly

**transco** : yeah any more time and hart would’ve jumped you

**pipes** : can you blame me

**lesbianda** : bar’s new doppelgänger certainly agreed

**detectiveprettybi** : wait what vest 

**spACEbar** : ????? My new ????? doppelgänger????

**babybibibi** : bar this dude is a downright copy of you

**babybibibi** : like not physically but

**irisbest** : they wore basically the same shirt 

**transco** : he said he’s „ace and questioning“ 

**detectiveprettybi** : that. Isn’t that pretty much the same way Bar introduced themself back then

**pipes** : exactly the same

**detectiveprettybi** : did Snart do the „ever sucked a dick“ convo

**captaincold** : ah damn

**captaincold** : next time

**pipes** : no but seriously give it a few weeks and this dude will ask us to use they pronouns and call him “jul” or smth

**detectiveprettybi** : who the fuck is that guy

**transco** : he’s Julian, 23, studies (hold on to your seat belt) forensic science

**detectiveprettybi** : NO

**transco** : YES

**irisbest** : YES

**babybibibi** : YES

**pipes** : YES

**spACEbar** : omg can y’all stop

**spACEbar** : I’ve had a class with Julian last semester and he HATES me

**transco** : ah I bet he’s secretly got a crush on you, that’s how it works

**pipes** : ok I feel attacked here

**captaincold** : regardless, I’m watching him 

**spACEbar** : len 

**snowflake** : it IS weird that someone doesn’t like you

**oliverqueer** : pudding 

**detectiveprettybi** : any other saucy people

**bilance** : don’t get me started

**lesbianda** : hahaha omg

**bilance** : this bitch that kept laughing in my face when she beat my ass in capoeira 

**detectiveprettybi** : someone beat YOU???

**bilance** : im as shook as you are

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : this vest btw

**transco** : [image attached]

**babybibibi** : wow a justin bieber tweet when your thirsting over bar’s bf

**transco** : right. You guys ARE still dating

**detectiveprettybi** : and hell I don’t say that easily but Snart your a r m s 

**bilance** : someone check if hell froze over they’re civic to each other 

**heatwave** : hell ain’t frozen Snart’s still here

**lesbianda** : poetic

**spACEbar** : yep

**snowflake** : :’’’’’))))))))

**pipes** : ^ probably snart’s face rn

**irisbest** : ok but im laughing so much bc this whole line up of new people? Against bar

**detectiveprettybi** : OH WHAT

**irisbest** : julian, bar’s mental doppelgänger who hates him

**irisbest** : ralph, who bar had some beef with in high school

**irisbest** : this ray guy (not palmer) who legit hit on snart

**detectiveprettybi** : four new members??????

**bilance** : 5, i convinced z to come too

**detectiveprettybi** : who the heck is z

**bilance** : hacker friend

**irisbest** : and get this!

**lesbianda** : she’s the same hacker friend as wally’s

**irisbest** : wally knows her too

**irisbest** : GODDAMMIT LINDA

**lesbianda** : :*

**detectiveprettybi** : ???????? for real?????

**detectiveprettybi** : central city i swear to god

**transco** : yeah it’s wild

**pipes** : thank god we decided against adding them to the chat

**oliverqueer** : we already lose sight of the 11 people in here

**babybibibi** : i heard there are chats out there with more than 100 members

**lesbianda** : HOW

**detectiveprettybi** : so when’s the next party at the quiver

**transco** : eddie wants to see whom he can fuck

**detectiveprettybi** : shrug emoji

**pipes** : predictable

**detectiveprettybi** : as if you wouldnt think the same if you were single

**captaincold** : i see you guys living together will be wonderful

**bilance** : don’t encourage them

**detectiveprettybi** : and are the people nice?

**irisbest** : linda adopted a kid

**babybibibi** : iconic behaviour. The legend jumped out

**detectiveprettybi** : wait what

**lesbianda** : the poor girl needs some guidance!!! 

**oliverqueer** : and i thought we’re still hung up on bruce’s guardianship

**snowflake** : oh we are

**spACEbar** : i think ralph’s older than you linda

**lesbianda** : idc i still adopt her

**lesbianda** : him? How do you refer to someone who’s current gender you don’t know but who explicitly doesn’t use they pronouns

**transco** : better ask next time

**lesbianda** : yeah duh

**irisbest** : oh yeah because by the way @ eddie @ mick we are now meeting biweekly

**heatwave** : twice a week?

**captaincold** : no every 2 weeks

**heatwave** : good

**detectiveprettybi** : oh good it’s bi

**babybibibi** : BD

**detectiveprettybi** : how come tho

**bilance** : ava

**captaincold** : wow you could hear the grumble in that

**bilance** : we were perfectly fine without her stupid organization and annoyance

**heatwave** : uh oh someone pissd off the actual captain

**oliverqueer** : idk if i should feel offended or if snart should

**captaincold** : nah you

**detectiveprettybi** : sounds like it was a wild meeting

**spACEbar** : it was actually pretty tame

**pipes** : for our standards

**transco** : yeah you didn’t miss much

**pipes** : except snart’s vest, really

**detectiveprettybi** : well thank fuck i got a pic of that then

**captaincold** : cherish it, it’s the only one you’ll get

**snowflake** : hey oliver?

**oliverqueer** : yeah

**snowflake** : did you say we’re 11 people in here

**snowflake** : we’re 12

**oliverqueer** : …………..

**oliverqueer** : case in point

**transco** : OH MY GOD WHOM DID YOU FORGET

**oliverqueer** : nope not doing this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- zombies in seattle???? sounds like it's from a [comic book/tv show](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IZombie_\(TV_series\)), tbh.  
> \- in case you don't know, in the new52 flash run, [snart's costume is a vest](https://retconpunchdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/flash-captain-cold-and-barry-allen-sit-at-the-bar-breaking-tvs.jpg) and boy have i ever been more gay? i think not. anyway, picture this version here looking like wentworth miller and wearing a thin white sweater underneath.  
> \- oliver's miscounting of the members of the chat is based on my own. whenever I try to count them I forget someone (and that someone changes every time. no favourism here)  
> \- so yeah. no new chat members but new club members!!!! (there'll also be a few more to come, but I won't say who they are heh) the ones so far are as follows:  
>  **Ava Sharpe** , 26, lesbian, she/her. I'm not quite sure what to let her study? I was thinking either history or somethig with politics, tbh. Suggestions?  
>  **Ray Terril** , 25, gay, he/him. Light Design!  
>  **Zari Tomaz** , 22, ace lesbian, she/her. Islamic Studies.  
>  **Julian Albert** , 23, questioning nb, he/him or they/them. Forensic Studies. (yes, there's gonna be a Harry Potter reference)  
>  **Ralph Dibny** , 23, genderfluid, he/him and she/her. Criminology.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sighs..... _time travel._

**spACEbar** : psa i’m gonna retreat a bit

**spACEbar** : the last week drained me of all my social energy so dw if i’m not around much

**snowflake** : aww :(((

**snowflake** : take care!!

**transco** : if you need any nerd stuff thrown at your head hmu

**spACEbar** : <333

**lesbianda** : tiny baby

**babybibibi** : they smol

**detectiveprettybi** : i woke up this morning thinking “bruce wayne has a kid”

**detectiveprettybi** : so that’s that

**babybibibi** : and you fucked him!

**detectiveprettybi** : AND I FUCKED HIM!

**oliverqueer** : i know it’s a big deal and we’re all proud of bruce

**detectiveprettybi** : you got me in the first half not gonna lie

**detectiveprettybi** : thought you’d admit our fucking is a big deal

**pipes** : it’s been one like 5 months ago

**detectiveprettybi** : the gala wasn’t even a month ago

**transco** : mrkrabs_meme.jpg

**babybibibi** : mood

**lesbianda** : can you believe 2018 is almost halfway over

**oliverqueer** : so much shit happened lately i feel like we’re already at the end of 2019

**irisbest** : noooooooooo then you’d be dying soon

**bilance** : right. That conspiracy theory

**pipes** : personally i’m rooting for ollie

**oliverqueer** : have we ever established HOW i’m gonna die

**lesbianda** : no

**lesbianda** : but you also didn’t get started on getting a kid yet did you

**oliverqueer** : no………

**irisbest** : getcha head in the game oliver

**transco** : yeah go fuck your gf

**oliverqueer** : you ARE aware a kid does not fit into either of our lives rn

**snowflake** : “rn”

**snowflake** : olicity baby to come

**bilance** : im too young to be an aunt

**oliverqueer** : im too young to be a fATHER

**detectiveprettybi** : bruce is only a year older than you and now look he got a 10yo kid

**babybibibi** : what are we doing for oliver’s birthday

**bilance** : we’re having a party duh

**bilance** : at VERDANT

**oliverqueer** : but not on the actual day bc it’s a wednesday

**pipes** : hang on. Do we have a club meeting on your brithday

**pipes** : how did we not account for that

**oliverqueer** : are you kidding it’s the besT THING

**oliverqueer** : i’ll see y’all and then it’s dinner date with felicity so a perf day

**transco** : somehow you seem weird

**lesbianda** : he’s still in shock over the baby comment

**bilance** : also he can talk about felicity so he goes soft

**irisbest** : awwww

**irisbest** : my dad ships you

**transco** : soon joe will become a member of this chat

**irisbest** : nah we’re just on a little shopping trip

**lesbianda** : oh can you buy me this cute little dress from that one store at the mall

**irisbest** : …. Grocery shopping

**lesbianda** : you didn’t say no!!!

**pipes** : bc we all know joe would buy it for you

**lesbianda** : he would <3

**irisbest** : he loves you more than us honestly

**babybibibi** : ranking: 1. Linda 2. Wally 3. Bar & you?

**bilance** : i almsot said he’s still angry about the whole lying about eddie thing but all of y’all are involved

**snowflake** : linda isn’t even his kid!!

**lesbianda** : he wishes i was

**oliverqueer** : wow

**irisbest** : that’s what i gotta put up with

**lesbianda** : <3

**lesbianda** : ilu

**irisbest** : pfff

**babybibibi** : don’t fiiiiight

**lesbianda** : oh btw i got ralph’s number and she says you can use either he or she she doesn’t mind

**lesbianda** : as long as she isn’t present, that is, when she is you’ll either see or she’ll tell ya

**transco** : sweet

**oliverqueer** : look at you making connections

**babybibibi** : linda is the king of connections

**bilance** : pardon me i brought my own new member

**pipes** : did you know her first or did wally

**irisbest** : pretty sure it’s been wally, they went to high school together

**transco** : ooooooohhhhhh

**snowflake** : that makes so much sense

**bilance** : yeah

**bilance** : but that was the past

**bilance** : we livin in the future now baby

**babybibibi** : bar isn’t here we can talk about time travel!!!! LET’S GO

**pipes** : you know, they weren’t so wrong about it being the solution to infinity war

**pipes** : it would only make sense, given the established timeline and the fact that marvel cannot possibly kill most of its characters

**oliverqueer** : yeah

**heatwave** : shut up with that bullshit already oh man

**heatwave** : where’d y’all wanna travel if time travel

**transco** : mick asking the real questions

**transco** : definitely the future. 23rd century. I wanan see star trek

**bilance** : i’d prove just how queer the past was

**bilance** : fuck those historians

**heatwave** : been there done that

**snowflake** : proved how queer historical figures were?

**heatwave** : no fucked a historian

**oliverqueer** : ah nate

**heatwave** : ofc

**lesbianda** : i’d go to 2020 and check if oliver’s still alive

**oliverqueer** : awwwww

**irisbest** : i’d go to 2020 and check if linda became president

**heatwave** : no need to check that

**lesbianda** : <3333

**pipes** : i’d want to go back to ancient rome or greece and see if demigods were real

**captaincold** : did they make you read pjo

**pipes** : bold of you to assume that i didn’t read them before

**pipes** : no but for real, our culture is coined by those two so immensely, it would be wonderful to see it for real

**irisbest** : don’t forget the many wars

**transco** : the homosexualité though

**pipes** : imagine living at the same time as achilles and patroclus

**lesbianda** : that book hurt me don’t

**babybibibi** : what, the illiad?

**lesbianda** : FUCKING SONG OF ACHILLES

**babybibibi** : that makes more sense

**pipes** : the iliad, too, though

**transco** : i am amazed you didn’t lear ancient greek just to read it

**captaincold** : don’t give him ideas

**oliverqueer** : i don’t even know where i’d go? I don’t think i’d want to change the past, really, bc it made me who I am but i don’t wanna see the future really either

**transco** : oliver wow that was the lamest answer possible

**heatwave** : i’d go to the after apocalypse

**snowflake** : post-apocalypse?

**heatwave** : that

**heatwave** : fire i imagine

**pipes** : you’d have a field day in pompeii though

**heatwave** : fuck yeah

**heatwave** : just anywhere firey

**babybibibi** : so snart’s going to the ice age, got it

**captaincold** : basically

**babybibibi** : i’d want to high five the inventor of pizza personally

**pipes** : pizza as we know it or its predecessors

**babybibibi** : as we know it my man

**transco** : no road trip to the antiques for you then

**detectiveprettybi** : screw the future 

**detectiveprettybi** : i wanna see the past

**transco** : what did the future ever do to you

**detectiveprettybi** : nothing yet thank fuck

**detectiveprettbi** : my uncle eobard is way too obsessed with it

**captaincold** : the fuck kinda name is “eobard”

**pipes** : sounds evil

**heatwave** : looks like someone typoed lenny’s name

**captaincold** : does not

**irisbest** : ehhhh a little

**captaincold** : betrayal

**detectiveprettybi** : tbh it wouldn’t surprise me if he had an evil ploy all along

**detectiveprettybi** : either that or he’s jsut insane

**captaincold** : he’s related to you so i guess the latter is a given

**babybibibi** : damn snart what put you in such a good mood today

**transco** : ikr he’s so chatty

**lesbianda** : worth an investigation

**detectiveprettybi** : why is snart’s good mood more interesting than my villanous uncle

**pipes** : we’re used to bad guys

**pipes** : my parents literally ARE bad guys

**oliverqueer** : tommy’s dad is pretty villainous so in a metaphorical way i too have a villainous uncle

**captaincold** : your mother had a child with him, your relation to him is so much weirder

**bilance** : look at snart dodging the investigation

**captaincold** : i don’t go around inquiring why y’all are in a good mood either 

**transco** : yeah but a) it’s not as rare and b) you don’t care

**transco** : that rhymed. I am hereby announcing my career as a poet

**snowflake** : wonderful!

**babybibibi** : cisco’s got a point though

**bilance** : did your old man bite the bullet snart

**captaincold** : not as far as i am aware

**heatwave** : snart’s known for his weird mood swings now let him have one onto the good side for once

**irisbest** : mick knows the reason

**lesbianda** : ofc mick knows the reason

**bilance** : how could mick not know the reason

**lesbianda** : i’m on it

**heatwave** : turning my phone off now

**captaincold** : great idea actually

**pipes** : and there they go

**transco** : it was nice while it lasted

**oliverqueer** : on the bright side his mood might stay like this if you don’t keep pestering him

**babybibibi** : but if he’s gone we have no way of witnessing it!

**irisbest** : that’s really unfortunate

**transco** : nothing we can do about it now

**snowflake** : we can only hope he enjoys it

**bilance** : oh cait, never change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you spot the spring awakening reference?


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's bad news but also good news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't even talk to me about the shows i'm behind on almost all of them yikes
> 
> also this chap takes place exactly a week after the last one, jsyk (no they haven't been silent the entire time but i finally wanted this to happen thank you)

**transco** : NO

**transco** : NO

**transco** : N O 

**heatwave** : WHAT

**transco** : [image attached]

**transco** : ABSOKUTELY NOT

**oliverqueer** : WHAT

**oliverqueer** : NO

**lesbianda** : NO????

**babybibibi** : HOW WOULD THEY COME UP WITH THAT BULLSHIT

**irisbest** : THERES NO JUSTIFICATION

**spACEbar** : AS IF B99 DOESNT HAVE THE HIGHEST RATING THERE IS 

**snowflake** : THIS MAKES NO SENSE

**pipes** : ???????????

**detectiveprettybi** : THEY CANNOT CANCEL BROOKLYN NINE-NINE

**heatwave** : bc it’s the only time ppl like cops?

**detectiveprettybi** : there’s plenty of cop shows,,,

**transco** : YOU GUYS ARE PUTTING THE WRONG FOCUS HERE

**transco** : THEY CANCELLED B99

**lesbianda** : THEY FUCKING DID NOT

**babybibibi** : I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH SHOWS THAT ARE CANCELLED TOO SOON

**irisbest** : NOT CANCELLED ON MY WATCH WE’RE GONNA SAVE IT

**oliverqueer** : HELL YEAH WE ARE

**oliverqueer** : WHAT AM I A BILLIONAIRE FOR IF I CANNOT SAVE A FREAKING TV SHOW

**transco** : EVERYONE PUT ON NETFLIX

**pipes** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**bilance** : [image attached]

**bilance** : [image attached]

**bilance** : [image attached]

**babybibibi** : damn your electric bill is gonna be hell

**heatwave** : billionaire

**snowflake** : i hope your electricity is green

**oliverqueer** : even my club is CALLED green ofc i have green power

**pipes** : ollie’s got enough people coming after him he doesn’t need climate activists too

**lesbianda** : plot twist oliver IS a climate activist

**snowflake** : as we all should be!

**transco** : we’re saving the world here

**pipes** : if coldwave and i are the villain squad does that mean we’re trashing the earth in this scenario

**irisbest** : don’t forget Eddie’s uncle

**babybibibi** : i thought you were redeemed villains

**detectiveprettybi** : BACK TO THE TOPIC THEY CANCELLED B99

**oliverqueer** : WE WON’T LET THEM

**oliverqueer** : I ALREADY HAVE 3K LIKES AND 2K RETWEETS

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**spACEbar** : we’re in

**transco** : wait

**babybibibi** : what

**irisbest** : those aint wally’s socks

**snowflake** : FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**spACEbar** : :3c

**heatwave** : snart u fuckin softie

**pipes** : WAIT

**lesbianda** : does that mean!!!!

**irisbest** : WHEN THE FUCK

**detectiveprettybi** : ?????? what did WE MISS 

**captaincold** : jeez you cuddle with a person once and ppl think you’re back to dating them

**pipes** : eye emoji

**transco** : eye emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : eye emoji

**bilance** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : eye emoji

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**irisbest** : eye emoji

**snowflake** : eye emoji

**detectiveprettybi** : well are you

**captaincold** : I’ll trade that information forknowledge as to why the fuck the entire Quiver is at home

**captaincold** : don’t you have classes

**pipes** : mine starts at 1

**bilance** : I’m skipping

**oliverqueer** : 3 for me

**detectiveprettybi** : night shift 

**transco** : all those came at the same time

**bilance** : we’re hungry for gossip

**pipes** : yeah s p i l l 

**spACEbar** : yes

**snowflake** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN YES

**spACEbar** : yes we’re officially and fully back together

**spACEbar** : :DDDDDDDDD

**transco** : WHAT

**irisbest** : SINCE WHEEEN

**snowflake** : FINALLY

**bilance** : im. Speechless tbh

**oliverqueer** : is „congrats“ the correct word to go with here

**detectiveprettybi** : you are the expert on getting back together with someone you should know

**oliverqueer** : actually tommy would know better than me

**lesbianda** : now YOU brought him up

**bilance** : honestly you could have just said Laurel and saved yourself from being reminded of the time you SUCKED TOMMY‘S DICK

**captaincold** : not to sound narcissistic but I am surprised y’all aren’t more nosy

**lesbianda** : you know us we’re just getting a lil sidetracked we’re still nosy

**pipes** : YEAH TELL US

**oliverqueer** : i hate you

**spACEbar** : 28th more or less

**irisbest** : THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO

**captaincold** : no only 11 days

**babybibibi** : are you being serious right now

**transco** : that explains snart’s good mood

**snowflake** : I KNEW IT

**lesbianda** : how did you hide this from us fhfkfjfk we MET LAST WEEK

**bilance** : wait the 28th was the saturday we all went to hang up the posters

**spACEbar** : whoops

**captaincold** : suddenly someone has a brain

**bilance** : believe me it is fried

**detectiveprettybi** : i am bamboozled

**oliverqueer** : bamboozled.

**detectiveprettybi** : it is a word!

**heatwave** : weird word

**lesbianda** : DID YOU GUYS HOOK UP OVER MY POSTERS

**spACEbar** : NO

**captaincold** : a little

**spACEbar** : THE POSTERS WERE IN NO WAY INVOLVED

**pipes** : … can you just tell us the story

**captaincold** : no

**captaincold** : i got punched for this

**irisbest** : GOOD

**spACEbar** : it was long overdue anyways bc it’s not like i didn’t forgive len a long time ago already

**snowflake** : awwwww

**babybibibi** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : CAIT

**bilance** : awwww caitlin

**transco** : did the memento mori element of infinity war hit you too bartholomew

**captaincold** : definitely though they won’t admit to it

**spACEbar** : why do YOU share a braincell all of sudden

**irisbest** : i can’t believe the kind of nerd you are

**irisbest** : and, like, *I* should KNOW

**spACEbar** : marvel is in no means responsible for my realizing that i should finally step up and stop being an asshole

**snowflake** : i’m sure you weren’t an asshole

**captaincold** : how often do i have to tell you

**heatwave** : yeah fucking hell finally some mirroring

**oliverqueer** : did MICK just call BAR an asshole

**spACEbar** : we talked

**spACEbar** : goddammit we really need some emojis

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**transco** : screenshotting the fist up face down emojis is a warrior move

**lesbianda** : so instead of hanging up my posters you made out in a hallway

**captaincold** : we did hang them up

**spACEbar** : yeah as soon as len’s teacher called us out

**bilance** : you got interrupted by a TEACHER and we didn’T KNOW

**babybibibi** : WHAT ELSE DID YOU KEEP FROM US

**captaincold** : lots of things

**detectiveprettybi** : you don’t say

**captaincold** : shut it pretty bi

**spACEbar** : I JOINED THE TRACK TEAM

**spACEbar** : not as exciting as, you know, being reunited with the love of my life, but you know

**snowflake** : DID YOU JUST

**transco** : AWWWW

**irisbest** : TRACK TEAM????

**irisbest** : WE AIN’T NO SPORT PPL HERE

**bilance** : didn’t wally do car racing

**oliverqueer** : bar called snart the love of their life they won’t text any time soon

**babybibibi** : that………… tracks

**heatwave** : lenny already made that joke

**transco** : ofc he did

**irisbest** : WAIT MICK YOU KNEW

**heatwave** : i know everything

**detectiveprettybi** : doubt.png

**heatwave** : talk like this and you really won’t ever get some

**detectiveprettybi** : I HAVE A CHANCE???

**irisbest** : I WON’T LET BAR BECOME A JOCK

**irisbest** : THEY’RE A NERD THEY CAN’T BE A JOCK TOO

**bilance** : if it helps think of the time they and eddie put a metal pot in the microwave

**detectiveprettybi** : why do ppl remember that

**pipes** : it wasn’t that long ago

**detectiveprettybi** : sure feels like two years

**snowflake** : i can’t believe my otp is back together………

**oliverqueer** : at least one good thing today

**transco** : damn i completely forgot about the sadness

**oliverqueer** : we’re getting lots of traffic!!!

**bilance** : oliver is single-handedly saving the universe

**lesbianda** : and sacrifices his phone for it

**babybibibi** : mute the tweet?

**oliverqueer** : NO I need to INTERACT with people and GET THE TAGS RUNNING

**oliverqueer** : i don’t see any of YOU doing shit

**lesbianda** : ollie bb youre on your official twitter acc, you don’t follow us on there

**oliverqueer** : oh.

**irisbest** : can’t wait to watch the fangirls break over you tweeting back

**oliverqueer** : always pleasing the fans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- eddie be [like](https://66.media.tumblr.com/0218933480f31b6e4221ccfc7494854b/tumblr_ourwooHLU21sa58qro1_400.jpg)
> 
> anyway, so.... interlude on tuesday? :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> b99 ist saved, couples are soft, and the author has the greatest coping skills regarding where arrow and flash are heading

**oliverqueer** : WE DID IT!

**oliverqueer** : [link attached]

**captaincold** : pretty sure more influential ppl than you did it

**transco** : friendship with Fox ended now nbc is my best friend

**pipes** : nbc is the home of comedies they fit perfectly right there

**transco** : b99 chillin with the good place, superstore and parks n rec

**babybibibi** : heaven

**detectiveprettybi** : FUCK YES

**snowflake** : so many happy news

**lesbianda** : what are you happier about coldbar or b99

**snowflake** : [gif attached]

**transco** : why does this app have gifs but no emojis

**irisbest** : Ronnie did you ask hr yet

**babybibibi** : Iris your Brother is literally dating his niece

**irisbest** : right I forgot that automatically makes us besties

**babybibibi** : and im his bestie bc I work for his brother????

**transco** : you had Easter lunch with him!

**lesbianda** : maybe we should tell him that his app is responsible for the Queen Consolidated LGBT Foundation

**oliverqueer** : he should thank me with emojis, yes

**detectiveprettybi** : does joe know about bar and Snart yet

**irisbest** : lmao how hard was it to keep your mouth shut

**detectivprettybi** : very

**spACEbar** : he was still asleep when I left 

**snowflake** : I feel like Eddie isn’t getting enough sleep

**detectiveprettybi** : I’ll take a nap when hart and I are back home 

**babybibibi** : oh where are you going?

**pipes** : looking at an apartment

**lesbianda** : progress!!

**snowflake** : where is it!

**detectiveprettybi** : not too far from the quiver

**pipes** : it’s got the best location to both the ccpd and the uni

**oliverqueer** : i have to ask again why you two feel like moving out in the first place

**captaincold** : are you scared you’re gonna die lonely

**oliverqueer** : snart your sister literally still lives in my house,

**captaincold** : never heard ya complain

**bilance** : it did get a lil crowded

**bilance** : still, living off oliver’s money isn’t anything to feel bad about

**detectiveprettybi** : no we’re independent men and we’ll be getting our own apartment

**irisbest** : Are you sure Cisco and Hartley won’t be too loud 

**spACEbar** : they don’t fight THAT often 

**detectiveprettybi** : Bar… 

**babybibibi** : I-- 

**pipes** : no let them 

**spACEbar** : ??? 

**transco** : this is too good 

**spACEbar** : OH 

**spACEbar** : goddamn 

**spACEbar** : I’m too ace for this

**babybibibi** : speaking of. How the hell did you manage to make it through the club meeting on wednesday without blowing the news of you guys being back together

**babybibibi** : i’ve been wondering the whole day

**captaincold** : queen didn’t want any mingling

**spACEbar** : plus, you know, we hadn’t even really talked by then

**lesbianda** : y’all nasty

**spACEbar** : …… literally mick’s response

**irisbest** : linda spends too mcuh time with him

**irisbest** : you gotta stay over here more

**oliverqueer** : I JUST SAID NO MAKING OUT???

**transco** : oliver i hate to break it to you but none of us sat with their partner just so you’d be happy

**oliverqueer** : ?????

**oliverqueer** : how did you guys even get that impression

**babybibibi** : we figured better safe than sorry

**captaincold** : i’d like to point out that nobody proposed any such thing to me and that i just didn’t want to join your happy little circle

**bilance** : we could tell

**bilance** : tho you did radiate to us

**transco** : yeah when bar earned those hateful looks for whatever fucking reason

**lesbianda** : defensive boyfriend stronger than us marine

**snowflake** : it never really stopped

**spACEbar** : no it didn’t 

**captaincold** : <3

**babybibibi** : WOAH

**lesbianda** : did that just

**irisbest** : wow

**pipes** : SNART???

**transco** : DAMN

**oliverqueer** : HUH

**detectiveprettybi** : snart u sofTIE

**spACEbar** : i been knew

**pipes** : wow bar

**transco** : dare i say: cold

**lesbianda** : snart rubs off on you huh

**lesbianda** : and vice versa

**snowflake** : i missed that

**heatwave** : i didn’t

**captaincold** : really, we couldn’t tell

**spACEbar** : yeah brand new information

**babybibibi** : here i thought mick ships you as much as the rest of us

**spACEbar** : he does he just got annoyed by snart’s pining

**captaincold** : he got annoyed by you taking so long

**irisbest** : changed your dynamic, didn’t you

**spACEbar** : a lil

**bilance** : that’s gonna be fun

**lesbianda** : lmao

**oliverqueer** : i made 20 tweets about b99’s rescue just now

**transco** : you’re a hero oliver

**lesbianda** : his finale act before his death

**oliverqueer** : this again

**oliverqueer** : i still have one and a half years!!!

**irisbest** : unsure

**irisbest** : the prophecy just said you aren’t making it THROUGH 2019

**lesbianda** : yeah you could die on january 1 already

**oliverqueer** : i thought it was late 2019

**oliverqueer** : can you make up your mind

**snowflake** : maybe you won’t die after all

**pipes** : we can only hope

**babybibibi** : #prayforoliverqueen2k19

**oliverqueer** : who’s gonna die with me

**heatwave** : take lenny and red

**captaincold** : COLD

**transco** : y’all gotta sacrifice yoruselves so the rest of us can live

**pipes** : sounds reasonable

**irisbest** : nooooooooo not bar

**irisbest** : my dad would kill me if i let anything happen to them

**spACEbar** : thank you so much

**lesbianda** : she isn’t wrong

**detectiveprettybi** : okay we’re really heading out now

**oliverqueer** : you just don’t want to go down with me

**pipes** : that too

**bilance** : i come into the living room just to see both hart and eddie kiss oliver’s cheek, i’m---

**irisbest** : look bar they did what you’re too cowardly for

**spACEbar** : i literally never said i wanted a kiss from oliver

**transco** : who DOESN’t want a kidd from oliver

**transco** : KISS

**snowflake** : i was gonna say the kid is felicity’s job

**lesbianda** : also iris you didn’t get your kiss either did you

**irisbest** : that doesn’t matter

**lesbianda** : hah even i got a kiss

**heatwave** : do u count tho

**lesbianda** : a kiss is a kiss

**captaincold** : DO you want to be one of the people on queen’s long list west

**irisbest** : maybe

**oliverqueer** : i’m not kissing anyone except felicity

**oliverqueer** : it wasn’t even ME who pursed his lips just now

**oliverqueer** : and my lips certainly weren’t involved

**transco** : relax

**babybibibi** : maybe felicity’s about to hack his phone and read this

**bilance** : sadly she doesn’t do that

**lesbianda** : we stan couples that respect their partner’s privacy

**spACEbar** : so you mean like any healthy relationship

**lesbianda** : YES

**snowflake** : we deliberatedly share our phones

**captaincold** : we noticed

**oliverqueer** : i have no problem with giving felicity mine either but i won’t let anyone spread any fucking rumours about me

**irisbest** : there’s a difference between handing your partner your phone and them taking it themselves

**bilance** : definitely

**babybibibi** : y’all we missed our window to grill eddie and hartley about their apartment. What’s it like

**transco** : no bathtub

**transco** : hart was devastated

**bilance** : there’s three rooms at least

**irisbest** : did hartley bitch about eddie’s standards being met

**bilance** : of course

**transco** : yep

**transco** : i love him so much

**spACEbar** : awwww

**oliverqueer** : i hope they don’t get the apartment. They really should both suffer

**heatwave** : you are really pissed at them for moving out

**oliverqueer** : WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE SHELTER I GIVE!!!

**bilance** : nothing it’s perfectly perfect thank you for providing it so nicely

**oliverqueer** : you know you being nice only makes me feel more uncomfortable with you being here

**bilance** : smh you’re never happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the part where bar is too ace to function has been taken from my life verbatim. please save me


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> canon: we are SAD and arrow is ENDING in JANUARY  
> me: .... anyway, here's part one of soft boy ollie's birthday

**babybibibi** : happy birthday oliver, we would have really liked to join you for your celebrations, but i’m afraid this trance won’t go away for the next few months

**babybibibi** : [image attached]

**transco** : don’t let this be about the burning maze i don’t wanna be sad

**babybibibi** : nope, shadowhunters

**transco** : ah

**babybibibi** : apparently someone died and two pretty boys are sad

**bilance** : i can see how that would affect cait

**pipes** : also oliver STARTED shadowhunters so don’t spoiler him

**babybibibi** : oh damn im quiet

**babybibibi** : but the thing is my fiancé’s been staring at the ceiling for two hours now

**babybibibi** : and that’s after she stopped crying

**bilance** : cait is so tiny 

**transco** : lmao hart just shouted at oliver not to check the chat for a while 

**pipes** : someone has to make sure he doesn’ get spoiled

**pipes** : he hates that

**babybibibi** : wait are y’all celebrating

**bilance** : no cisco’s staying over and tommy insisted we all have a toast on oliver

**babybibibi** : cute

**transco** : wait for oliver to tell us all what a good bestie tommy is

**pipes** : we stan their friendship

**bilance** : he’ll show off during the club meeting won’t he

**pipes** : oh yikes tommy’s confiscating phones

**transco** : bye ronnie

**babybibibi** : bye???

**babybibibi** : tommy really hates this chat doesn’t he

 

**spACEbar** : happy birthday ollie!

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : from us all!

**detectiveprettybi** : why isn’t joe gone to work yet i’m already on my way what

**spACEbar** : oh he managed that y’all have desk duty so you can go to the club meeting tonight

**irisbest** : yeah and dad’s got some ~files to go over with cecile~

**heatwave** : naaasty

**lesbianda** : no visiting my fav detective today, got it

**detectiveprettybi** : WAIT I’m stuck to my desk?????

**spACEbar** : THAT’s what you got from that

**spACEbar** : rude

**oliverqueer** : thank you <3333

**oliverqueer** : and tommy doesn’t hate this chat he just thinks i spend too much time on here

**captaincold** : that’s incredibly valid, actually.

**captaincold** : happy birthday, queen

**oliverqueer** : thanks

**detectiveprettybi** : of course i’m coming to the club meeting today

**detectiveprettybi** : i would have managed after parole, too, so i don’t get whyyyyyyyyy

**heatwave** : west’s just horny

**irisbest** : nooooooooooo

**spACEbar** : DON’T

**bilance** : your dad fucks, deal with it

**bilance** : like at least your dad did not hit on your ex’s new gf’s mother did he

**captaincold** : your dad hit on felicity’s mother.

**oliverqueer** : they even went on a few dates

**bilance** : and look, we’re all cool with that

**detectiveprettybi** : am i allowed to speak up

**captaincold** : honestly, please, be my guest

**detectiveprettybi** : at least everything stays in the family eh

**captaincold** : was that really the best you could do

**detectiveprettybi** : i’m trying to navigate through the city without being run over!

**spACEbar** : you really ARE weirdly civil

**pipes** : ikr??

**irisbest** : didn’t they behave like this since you properly rejected eddie

**bilance** : nah i think it was later

**oliverqueer** : idk but it IS a lil confusing

**oliverqueer** : please don’t change that during the meeting tho no fist fights on my birthday

**heatwave** : spoilsport

**detectiveprettybi** : bold to assume that i’m gonna show up

**irisbest** : my dad’s gonna kill you if you don’t

**detectiveprettybi** : i guess i’m gonna show up…..

**transco** : coward

**oliverqueer** : <3

**spACEbar** : oh btw i’ll be a lil late again

**lesbianda** : ofc you will

**spACEbar** : training’s till quarter past 6 it’s not my fault

**pipes** : oh right i forgot you left us to become a jock

**spACEbar** : …

**transco** : what did joe say about your new hobby

**irisbest** : he’s disgustingly pleased

**pipes** : what did he say about coldbar being back together

**irisbest** : he’s disgustingly pleased

**bilance** : iris still won’t accept that snart charmed the detective

**detectiveprettybi** : i think he pined harder after him than bar did

**irisbest** : definitely

**captaincold** : i honest to g-d don’t know what to say to that

**captaincold** : congrats i guess

**transco** : woah since when do you censor His name

**heatwave** : dating red has made him slip back into his judaism more and more

**pipes** : and bar isn’t even jewish themself. Impressive

**oliverqueer** : snart are you part of the kosher nostra

**babybibibi** : KOSHER NOSTRA

**spACEbar** : … kosher nostra?

**oliverqueer** : the term for the jewish mafia, it’s legit

**heatwave** : lol did ya gf make you study jewish history queen

**captaincold** : i fucking hate that term bc it only fuels all the prejudices about conspiracies that jews have going on regarding world domination

**captaincold** : so no i’m no fucking member of that group of jewish criminals

**oliverqueer** : ah fuck i didn’t even think about it like that

**captaincold** : do use that small brain of yours every once in a while will you

**oliverqueer** : sorry

**spACEbar** : yikes

**captaincold** : i’ll let you live bc its ur birthday but you’re on thin ice

**transco** : heh ice

**pipes** : do we tell the others that it’s Oliver’s birthday

**spACEbar** : wtf ofc we are

**lesbianda** : hartley do you really think cait would be able to stay quiet

**irisbest** : how is she even doing with her shadowhunters trauma

**transco** : she’s sad

**transco** : she has been spamming me for half the night

**oliverqueer** : do you even watch sh

**oliverqueer** : also NO SPOILERS

**pipes** : told them

**transco** : no i don’t that’s why she yells at me

**transco** : it’s taken me like 5 years to get that this one ship isn’t canon

**oliverqueer** : which one

**transco** : no spoilers

**bilance** : good

**oliverqueer** : sara i’m not throwing you out you can stop sweettalking me

**bilance** : bish maybe i wanted to be nice bc you’re old now

**detectiveprettybi** : so close to being wholesome

**captaincold** : i gotta say i really am curious about what your relationship has been like

**bilance** : we can’t all be as pure as you and bar

**babybibibi** : we’re purer

**pipes** : coldbar don’t have sex tho

**spACEbar** : the association of virginity/a sex-less life and purity is extremely harmful

**lesbianda** : damn the otp is out there calling out ppl today

**transco** : speaking of oliver are we allowed to interact with our significant others today

**oliverqueer** : again: it’s never been forbidden

**heatwave** : great now they’all be gross

**irisbest** : let them be we’ve all waited long enough for all of them

**transco** : iris is soft for coldbar

**detectiveprettybi** : damn snart you won over iris?

**captaincold** : ain’t the only one

**detectiveprettybi** : ????

**irisbest** : i just want everyone to feel comfortable

**oliverqueer** : same

**oliverqueer** : that’s why

**oliverqueer** : [image attached]

**transco** : oh my god i love you

**transco** : not as much as hart tho

**spACEbar** : :D

**lesbianda** : excuse me is that a whole tray of red vines

**pipes** : what the hell can’t they do

**pipes** : it’s fucking 2018 and i’m still pavlov’s dog to team starkid

**oliverqueer** : we went a lil overboard

**irisbest** : who BOUGHT this

**irisbest** : that’s like 6 bowls of chips

**babybibibi** : was it tommy

**bilance** : tommy and oliver, yeah

**bilance** : no idea about normal life i tell ya

**oliverqueer** : we went a little overboard maybe

**oliverqueer** : but it’s not like it won’t disappear as soon as we bring it back to the quiver

**detectiveprettybi** : is tommy joining the meeting

**captaincold** : shouldn’t you be doing paper work

**detectiveprettybi** : shouldn’t you be painting

**captaincold** : no only tomorrow

**pipes** : no tommy’s staying away from club meetings

**babybibibi** : rude

**spACEbar** : it’s almost like he doesn’t love us

**transco** : bar he barely knows you

**spACEbar** : that’s

**spACEbar** : a good point

**captaincold** : his loss

**spACEbar** : :’) <3

**lesbianda** : are you fucking softer than before

**babybibibi** : it’s gonna pull cait out of her funk at least

**captaincold** : didn’t y’all want us to get back together

**captaincold** : deal with it

**transco** : oh we are

**pipes** : you were the big topic of the nightly quiver discussion

**spACEbar** : really

**bilance** : mostly lisa is gonna kill her dear brother

**captaincold** : … oh shit

**spACEbar** : you didn’t

**captaincold** : nope i didn’t

**babybibibi** : you didn’t tell lisa you were back together????

**irisbest** : why do i feel like you forget about lisa’s existence until it’s time to be A Protective Older Brother™ 

**captaincold** : i didn’t even tell any of y’all

**captaincold** : wouldn’t even know if it weren’t for bar

**bilance** : which was very rude, by the way

**lesbianda** : yeah leaving us hanging like that

**captaincold** : y’all are so goddamn dramatic

**heatwave** : you’re one to talk

**transco** : shots fired

**oliverqueer** : don’t start drama right before my party

**bilance** : your party is on saturday you ass

**bilance** : don’t blow this tommy hired Someone

**pipes** : is oliver getting a stripper

**irisbest** : oliver is a happily taken man why would he get a stripper

**lesbianda** : bc tommy is sadistic

**transco** : tommy’s evil plan: hiring a male stripper and watching oliver pop a boner

**detectiveprettybi** : he is v obsessed with oliver being queer

**heatwave** : are you sure he is straight

**bilance** : that sounds like something he would do

**oliverqueer** : he’s just pissed i never had a crush on him

**spACEbar** : you really never had??? But he’s hot

**oliverqueer** : he may be but i also know his personality better than anyone so hard pass

**bilance** : ^ me @ u

**oliverqueer** : you don’t know my personality better than anyone

**bilance** : potato potato

**captaincold** : can we have the mini party now

**detectiveprettybi** : someone’s eager

**heatwave** : is there gonna be alcohol

**oliverqueer** : we’re at uni

**bilance** : ofc there won’t

**bilance** : not officially

**captaincold** : the only goddamn person i respect

**spACEbar** : …

**captaincold** : besides bar

**spACEbar** : :’)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> geez, that is the last chapter I have written in advance!!! lots of things are planned, though, I just need to find the time to WRITE. pray for me


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the club meeting was as messy as always, also there's a revelation about mick

**detectiveprettybi** : i’m gonna fuck him

**irisbest** : not if i get there first

**lesbianda** : at least you didn’t text about behrad anymore while he was there

**irisbest** : well snart stole my phone so,

**lesbianda** : IRIS YOU WERE NOT EVEN SUBTLE

**irisbest** : WELL BEING SUBTLE ISN’T GONNA GET YOU INTO A GUY’S BED

**spACEbar** : omg couldn’t you behave for one evening

**detectiveprettybi** : snart had to steal your phone too

**transco** : wests, you really aren’t subtle

**spACEbar** : legally i’m not a west

**bilance** : legally nothing stops me from destroying your phones

**spACEbar** : no, it does. A lot actually

**captaincold** : i already took care of it didn’t i

**lesbianda** . Not all heroes wear capes

**bilance** : Snart was so pleased to have another pan guy around

**pipes** : yeah he’s always taken a liking to Wally just for that

**babybibibi** : solidarity

**lesbianda** : interesting turn-Up today wasn’t it

**snowflake** : so that’s why iris’ phone was  in my pocket

**bilance** : he really swiped it huh

**captaincold** : of course I did

**bilance** : where did you put bar’s

**captaincold** : my pocket why

**transco** : Gay

**detectiveprettybi** : we really weirded out the ppl huh

**snowflake** : how could you forget that ramadan starts tonight!!!

**babybibibi** : babe that means they COULD still eat now dw

**snowflake** : yeah but oliver invited them to his party on saturday

**bilance** : they’re muslims they wouldn’t drink alcohol anyway

**snowflake** : i know!!! But now they’ll either feel bad bc they won’t come or they’ll feel bad bc there’ll be catering and they won’t eat or maybe they will eat and break their tradition and

**bilance** : omg cait i can see you freak out relax im gonna play oliver’s brain cell and text z it’s okay if they don’t show up

**bilance** : or that they can just show up after sundown, it’s a freaking party not a dinner

**babybibibi** : thank you

**captaincold** : goddammit y’all really can’t socialize like normal people huh

**detectiveprettybi** : be glad this meeting only last 2h

**lesbianda** : how are we gonna survive saturday

**heatwave** : y’all’d reveal ya weirdo sides some time anyway

**pipes** : point

**transco** : guys we need to make a decision tho

**transco** : ARE furries LGBT

**babybibibi** : some of them?

**lesbianda** : there’s puppy play pride flags

**transco** : NO

**lesbianda** : I saw them at calvin city pride

**pipes** : and here i thought gotham

**detectiveprettybi** : not everything is bad in gotham

**lesbianda** : nah Gothamites are into bats

**babybibibi** : … why

**lesbianda** : fuck if i knew

**transco** : as concerning as THAT is

**transco** : this mona girl kept telling me about hot this wolf OC is for twenty minutes

**transco** : and none of you saved me

**pipes** : IS he hot tho

**transco** : fuck you

**transco** : i didnt even wanna COnsIDER that possibility

**bilance** : shoulda put her up with gary

**bilance** : he seems like someone who’d at least be interested in the semantics

**heatwave** : put the other weirdos together

**detectiveprettybi** : speaking of why did zari glare at you like this

**pipes** : sara’s really been happy that ava left as soon as she saw there’s gonna be a party huh

**babybibibi** : a lil

**heatwave** . She’s annoying

**spACEbar** : who now z or ava

**heatwave** : both

**irisbest** : oh just bc zari called you out in class

**babybibibi** : OH WHAT

**transco** : story time!!!

**irisbest** : some people just aren’t used to the way mick phrases things

**lesbianda** : so he sounded sexist

**irisbest** : ofc

**bilance** : when was that

**heatwave** : few weeks

**babybibibi** : what

**detectiveprettybi** : wait

**pipes** : i’ll bite

**pipes** : WHERE did that happen

**heatwave** : class

**irisbest** : writing class ofc

**transco** : WHAT

**babybibibi** : whats mick to do with that????

**lesbianda** : oh y’all don’t know

**captaincold** : he does keep it under the wraps

**heatwave** : i’m a writer. I write. Big deal.

**pipes** : you what!!

**transco** : OH WORM

**snowflake** : That IS a big deal

**lesbianda** : he doesn’t let anyone look at it really tho

**irisbest** : yeah zari just caught a glimpse on random

**captaincold** : and didn’t have anything better to do than voice her unwanted opinion?

**captaincold** : fuck her

**babybibibi** : someone angered the bestie

**captaincold** : all ppl who create art should have the right to keep it to themselves, fuck ppl who won’t respect that

**captaincold** : that aside mick’s writing is good

**irisbest** : zari didn’t even criticize it beyond the sexism part

**irisbest** : but yeah she probably shouldn’t have just read it like that

**pipes** : that’s like when hearing ppl wanna test their asl so they eavesdrop on Deaf ppl’s convos

**heatwave** : that’s not at all comparable but thx i guess

**heatwave** : cat’s outta the bag, whatever

**detectiveprettybi** : i, for one, am intrigued

**heatwave** : change the topic

**transco** : I’m gonna go to church hungover this week can you believe 

**irisbest** : are you really going to church every week

**transco** : I try

**babybibibi** : wow you’re really changing the topic 

**detectiveprettybi** : god probably won’t be mad if you skip once

**spACEbar** : hes scared of mick

**transco** : ITS PENTECOST

**transco** : it’s already bad enough it’s not an official holiday

**captaincold** : oh excuse me aren’t your religious holidays not valued enough

**babybibibi** : damn  Snart you’re being VERY Jewish lately

**captaincold** : might have to do with the fact that i AM jewish

**bilance** : you know what we should do before oliver’s party?

**bilance** : DEADPOOL

**transco** : fuck yeah i can’t wait for that sweet cablepool action

**babybibibi** : i am not ready to see josh brolin’s face again

**spACEbar** : will any of us ever be over infinity war

**transco** : maybe after the next movie

**captaincold** : bar you are banned from seeing deadpool 2, sorry

**pipes** : omg what

**spACEbar** : oh no

**captaincold** : yep

**transco** : i should not be as surprised that snart knows his deadpool comics and yet here i sit,

**babybibibi** : oh right cable is a time traveller right

**transco** : aw you listened to me :’)

**babybibibi** : am i suddenly painted as a bad datemate--

**snowflake** : No you are perfect

**transco** : you were brillaint

**heatwave** : cue why he broke up w u

**transco** : eyeroll emoji

**captaincold** : anyway hard pass on that collective cinema visit

**bilance** : now don’t tell me you don’t like ryan reynolds’ deadpool

**detectiveprettybi** : gasp

**heatwave** : we’re gonna watch it tomorrow

**lesbianda** : NERDS

**spACEbar** : they aren’t members of this group for nothing

**captaincold** : babe, my rep

**heatwave** : mine was ruined today anyway

**snowflake** : your rep is fine!!!!

**snowflake** : personally i am a FAN of you writing!!

**pipes** : cait you’re a fan of everything

**snowflake** : that does not invalidate the appreciation for mick!!

**lesbianda** : now drop the topic he really doesn’t like talking about it

**babybibibi** : we never asked iris what she’s writing about

**captaincold** : i’m envisioning a love story involving a blond blue-eyed guy

**transco** : iris are you really writing the oliver queen fanfiction gjgkgjgjg

**irisbest** : naturally

**irisbest** : i promised that didn’t i

**detectiveprettybi** : you freaking legend

**captaincold** : i’m giving up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- oliver isn't there bc he's on his date with felicity, aw  
> \- behrad is there!!!! he's pan and studies to become a dentist   
> \- also mona!!! she's a furry, jury's still out whether she'll stay  
> \- gary, the bi disaster  
> \- i have a list of their subjects at home but i'm not there atm sooooo  
> \- puppy play pride flags are real and i found them at pride while i was searching for an aromantic flag (which i did not find. but a fucking puppy play flag. wtf)  
> \- i have a week off @ pentecost every year and my town has huge celebrations so you cannot IMAGINE my surprise to hear it's not even a full holiday in the US (do you guys even have them. are your shops EVER closed)  
> \- i was lying face down on a row of seats in the cinema when i watched deadpool 2 and noticed that, since a time traveller is there, it's gonna be a big part of the plot, so I'm gonna save my babe bar from that


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aftermath of oliver's party! also, there's two surprise appearances!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a day late bc my wifi was cancelled due to lack of payment and also i'm out of mobile data, lmao. i hope the formatting doesn't screw up

**bilance** : @ the boring peeps

**bilance** : aka the non-alcoholics

**bilance** : what the fuck happened last night

**detectiveprettybi** : so you have a blackout too

**bilance** : ya

**bilance** : at least the company is nice :3c

**babybibibi** : here I expected a picture

**bilance** : I don’t take pics of my sleepy barely dressed girlfriend screw u

**detectiveprettybi** : look at us bis being awake early

**babybibibi** : I remember bits and pieces but it’s like trying to follow a trip via snapchat stories

**bilance** : SOCIAL MEDIA

**detectiveprettybi** : GENIUS

**Bear** @spACEbar  _ 19 May 2018 _

wholesome content: sara and her gf

**Sara** @bilance  _ 19 May 2018 _

OLIVER NEEDS TO STOP DOING THIS OR ELSE I’LL START TO LIKE HIM

**Sara** @bilance  _ 19 May 2018 _

MY FUCKING GF

**Eddie Teddy** @detectiveprettybi  _ 19 May 2018 _

I live with sara and oliver and still don’t understand how they ever dated

**transco** : why are you guys even awake yet

**babybibibi** : I needed to pee

**detectiveprettybi** : I had to throw up

**bilance** : I’m not used to having a body next to me

**babybibibi** : óh noooooooo

**transco** : that’s so sad

**transco** : alexa play despacito

**bilance** : don’t fucking say it

**bilance** : oh my god

**babybibibi** : did you plan to morph two memes into one

**bilance** : NO

**detectiveprettybi** : threw up again

**snowflake** : you really should not have drunk so mu h

**detectiveprettybi** : I was being a sad single excuse me

**bilance** : unrelatable

**snowflake** : awwww

**babybibibi** : did oliver give us a reason why bruce wqayne bailed

**transco** : was he even sUPPOSED to be there

**detectiveprettybi** : yrah???? he asked for oliver’s opinion on the kid front???? they’re good friends?

**snowflake** : did you ever text again

**transco** : im laughing that sounds so shady

**transco** : oh fuck I think I woke up hart

**babybibibi** : sing a lullaby for him

**Dr. Psych.** @irisbest  _ 19 May 2018 _

BRUCE WAYNE IS NOT HERE??????

**Dr. Psych.** @irisbest  _ 19 May 2018 _

   @irisbest WHEN WILL I GET MY CHANCE

**Eddie Teddy** @detectiveprettybi  _ 19 May 2018 _

      @irisbest never

**Dr. Psych.** @irisbest  _ 19 May 2018 _

         @detectiveprettybi fuck you

**Eddie Teddy** @detectiveprettybi  _ 19 May 2018 _

            @irisbest promise?

**Bear** @spACEbar  _ 19 May 2018 _

               @detectiveprettybi @irisbest stop drinking, you’ll only get yourselves in trouble

**detectiveprettybi** : is he really

**snowflake** : he does that yeah

**snowflake** : its so sweet!

**detectiveprettybi** : I need a boyfriend

**detectiveprettybi** : or a girlfriend

**detectiveprettybi** : I’m open for options

**bilance** : wouldn’t have guessed

**spACEbar** : when did you get so desperate

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s just the hangover I’ll be fine once I got scrambled eggs from dig

**bilance** : dig isn’t home

**detectiveprettybi** : DIG ISN’T HOME???

**babybibibi** : he deserves to have a night with his girlfriend!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : I gonna to sTARVE

**bilance** : please do that quietly

**detectiveprettybi** : I know better than to cause the wrath of four ladies and tommy @ myself

**babybibibi** : lisa went to the quiver???

**spACEbar** : lmao yeah she’s pissed at len

**transco** : who woulda thought

**snowflake** : [link attached]

**Golden Citizen** @goldsnart  _ 18 May 2018 _

should I deck my brother y/n

yes 90%

no 10%

**Golden Citizen** @goldsnart  _ 19 May 2018 _

   @goldsnart lmao y’all don’t even know him

**Golden Citizen** @goldsnart  _ 19 May 2018 _

      @goldsnart legends

**Golden Citizen** @goldsnart  _ 19 May 2018 _

   HERE WE GOOOO THANKS FOR RECORDING @TRANSCO [video attached]

      @transco quoted this tweet and added:

      I’d like to clarify that I had no idea what would happen when she asked me to film her

**pipes** : oh my god

**pipes** : that wasn’t a dream?

**snowflake** : morning Hartley

**spACEbar** : he took it gracefully

**transco** : is he ever not graceful

**spACEbar** : yes

**bilance** : you’d know

**pipes** : parts of last night were wonderfully normal and then some memories really do seem like a fever dream

**babybibibi** : okay the obvious one

**detectiveprettybi** : we don’t even fucking have eggs

**detectiveprettybi** : why do I live with two billionaires and there’s no eggs

**babybibibi** : the pianist

**captaincold** : a good movie starring Adrien brody

**spACEbar** : linda asked him about his name and he went “it’s god-given I’m afraid”

**transco** : snart did you find your match for the puns

**captaincold** : pff

**sad rat** @hartpipes  _ 19 May 2018 _

GUESS WHO’S TURNING THIS PARTY EMO [video attached]

**tran francisco** @transco  _ 19 May 2018 _

LMAO OUR PAINIST IS DEVIL KIN

**tran francisco** @transco  _ 19 May 2018 _

   *PIANIST

**Sara** @bilance  _ 19 May 2018 _

   @transco only tommy, I swear

**sad rat** @hartpipes  _ 19 May 2018 _

SOMEONE MADE HIM PLAY HIGHWAY TO HELL JGKGJGJ

**sad rat** @hartpipes  _ 19 May 2018 _

   @hartpipes STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

**Sara** @bilance  _ 19 May 2018 _

      @hartpipes someone saw a chance in a hired pianist named lucifer Morningstar and ran with it

**babybibibi** : wait snart were you the one who asked for the religiously motivated songs

**captaincold** : perhaps

**bilance** : LEGEND

**lesbianda** : so I see we’re all alive

**lesbianda** : where did iris end up last I saw her she was making out with eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : she was WHAT NOW

**spACEbar** : goddammit

**captaincold** : no respect for the detective smh

**lesbianda** : dw I deleted all proof of it ever happening

**detectiveprettybi** : you fucking hero

**detectiveprettybi** : I’ll cook you breakfast

**lesbianda** : you just want my eggs don’t you

**lesbianda** : my words if I ever become a surrogate mother

**transco** : jkfjgkg

**pipes** : now where is iris

**captaincold** : nosy are you

**spACEbar** : she’s here

**snowflake** : you made it home!

**spACEbar** : nope

**transco** : what

**babybibibi** : did iris sleep with MICK

**spACEbar** : ew no nasty

**captaincold** : oh, now that is nasty

**captaincold** : and the floor wasn’t

**bilance** : my head is hurting too much to keep up please explain

**spACEbar** : I shared len’s bed with iris, he was supposed to share with mick but that didn’t fit so len took the floor

**spACEbar** : voluntarily may I add

**captaincold** : I was forced

**pipes** : wasn’t there a time where the three of you fit in one bed

**babybibibi** : fitting somewhere by accident always works better than when you’re meaning to

**transco** : yeah true

**detectiveprettybi** : I never got an answer whether I should cook for linda

**lesbianda** : yeah sure

**lesbianda** : were any of the newbies there I didn’t see them

**bilance** : ava came and left early

**bilance** : tomazes came late and left early

**bilance** : else idk

**z** @itszari  _ 19 May 2018 _

billionaire parties are weird

**z** @itszari  _ 20 May 2018 _

   @itszari what am I doing here

**z** @itszari  _ 20 May 2018 _

      @itszari and why am I tweeting at the 50 followers I gained during my attempt at a youtube channel years ago

**spACEbar** : no sight of the others

**pipes** : bar keeping their enemies in check

**spACEbar** : they’re not my enemies

**spACEbar** : at least gay ray isn’t

**transco** : ray the gay

**spACEbar** : sounds like a wizard name

**transco** : Gandalf the gay

**transco** : YEHA RIGHT

**babybibibi** : are you sure he isn’t

**babybibibi** : tried to take your man

**spACEbar** : if that’s “taking my man” then y’all are guilty of that lmao

**lesbianda** : oh we stan a confident bar

**transco** : anyway I kept running into zari at the snack bar, that was fun

**pipes** : now is that a her thing or a Ramadan thing

**bilance** : it’s her

**bilance** : I was surprised to learn that she observes Ramadan, she always has so many snacks on her

**bilance** : I thought she was diabetic or smth

**captaincold** : well obviously she isn’t

**detectiveprettybi** : how is that obvious

**captaincold** : bc if you got a condition that requires you to eat then you aren’t allowed to participate in Ramadan, stupid

**transco** : are there any fasts in Judaism

**spACEbar** : yom kippur is the best known

**spACEbar** : but it’s only a day for Jews usually

**transco** : meanwhile I have never managed any fast I set myself

**captaincold** : weak

**transco** : excuse you I’d have to fast for 40 days

**transco** : have you ever gone 40 days without like chocolate

**captaincold** : yes

**pipes** : babe he’s been to prison

**spACEbar** : *juvie

**captaincold** : my rep…

**irisbest** : I for one am surprised eddie didn’t hook up with anyone

**lesbianda** : well close call right

**irisbest** : yeah thanks for the save

**bilance** : I still can’t believe we’re keeping that from your dad

**babybibibi** : how long did it take you to tell your dad about you and oliver

**oliverqueer** : not as long

**oliverqueer** : it was sara’s big rebellion

**detectiveprettybi** : ah so THAT was her reasoning

**oliverqueer** : rude,,

**Tommy Merlyn** @tommymerlyn  _ 20 May 2018 _

FREE SHOTS FOR EVERYONE

**Tommy Merlyn** @tommymerlyn  _ 20 May 2018 _

IT’S A PRIVATE PARTY SO THEYÄRE FREE ANYWAY BUT

**Tommy Merlyn** @tommymerlyn  _ 20 May 2018 _

FREE SHTOS

**Tommy Merlyn** @tommymerlyn  _ 20 May 2018 _

MY BEST FRIEND IS FUCKJUGN OLD

**The Torch** @sullivancees  _ 20 May 2018 _

   @tommymerlyn Tommy Merlyn, three months and a half older than Oliver Queen, calls his best friend and thus himself “fuckjugn old”

**HAL(LO)** @halofapilot  _ 20 May 2018 _

   @tommymerlyn oh, to have a billionaire best friend

**spACEbar** : aw ollie you’re great

**irisbest** : 100% would date u

**babybibibi** : we know

**detectiveprettybi** : the fanfiction

**captaincold** : totally

**irisbest** : hmpf

**oliverqueer** : anyway!!! thank you all for coming, it was a great party

**pipes** : I’m glad you didn’t invite everyone you know

**oliverqueer** : hah yeah

**oliverqueer** : anyway, I have to fly to star now so behave yourselves

**lesbianda** : busy bee

**bilance** : give thea my love

**oliverqueer** : ofc

**bilance** : also, you know, thanks for nyssa

**snowflake** : wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> technically "tran" is a slur but cisco is reclaiming it :)


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's... a lot going on, idk. can you tell i wrote this while renovating my room with 10€ to my name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello sorry for the wait i have still no internet :(((   
> and like CAN YOU BELIEVE i caught up on smallville for the crossover only to be now behind ON ALL OTHER INCLUDED SHOWS????????? WHAT

**pipes** : eddie has the day off so this is happening

 **pipes** : [image attached]

 **babybibibi** : lmao is he just sleeping through it

 **spACEbar** : only lisa and cisco would play domino on a person’s body

 **captaincold** : it really is a lisa thing

 **irisbest** : is it???

 **heatwave** : ya

 **lesbianda** : amazing

 **pipes** : nah he isn’t sleeping he groans through it

 **pipes** : he’s incredibly bored apparently but doesn’t wanna be entertained either

 **spACEbar** : ah. the mood

 **irisbest** : oh yeah bar has that often

 **irisbest** : though they don’t groan they whine

 **spACEbar** : I don’t!!

 **irisbest** : you do

 **lesbianda** : you do

 **pipes** : cisco says you do

 **captaincold** : you do

 **spACEbar** : wow

 **detectiveprettybi** : you DON’T!!!

 **detectiveprettybi** : it’s a very sophisticated sighing that you do

 **transco** : I can’t believe that worked

 **babybibibi** : wow I thought eddie was over bar

 **captaincold** : really

 **lesbianda** : omg eddie

 **pipes** : “ppl in the chat are mean to bar, I cannot believe” – eddie: [ZOOMS to his phone]

 **transco** : he had it in his pocket

 **transco** : and ruined the tower we built

 **irisbest** : rude

 **spACEbar** : jfkgjgkg what is HAPPENING

 **detectiveprettybi** : I am not used to so much free time

 **detectiveprettybi** : I need a hobby

 **babybibibi** : speaking of!!! eddie who is gonna be your new unattainable crush

 **pipes** : oh no don’t

 **captaincold** : sighs…

 **detectiveprettybi** : why do you make it seem like my thing

 **lesbianda** : tommy, iris, bar, bruce wayne,

 **detectiveprettybi** : i scored with two of these so jokes on you

 **pipes** : we just wanna know whom to warn next

 **detectiveprettybi** : fuck you

 **pipes** : nah ill let cisco do that

 **captaincold** : g*d thawne please settle on someone so they’ll shut up

 **detectiveprettybi** : you hoping it’s gonna be you

 **detectiveprettybi** : bc that’s never gonna happen

 **captaincold** : thank g*d

 **detectiveprettybi** : okay i’ll choose the next hyperfixation

 **spACEbar** : can you do that. Can you just choose who to crush on

 **transco** : you can definitely talk yourself into thinking so yeah

 **transco** : though i speak of experience when i say real crushes can be unfortunate

 **pipes** : okay rude

 **transco** : ;*

 **oliverqueer** : yeah you’re cute we get it

 **pipes** : jealous?

 **oliverqueer** : [image attached]

 **oliverqueer** : no

 **spACEbar** : we stan the royal couple

 **lesbianda** : heart eyes motherfucker

 **detectiveprettybi** : okay i have settled on someone

 **babybibibi** : do tell

 **irisbest** : eye emoji

 **captaincold** : we’re all very thrilled

 **detectiveprettybi** : hal

 **irisbest** : HAL?

 **spACEbar** : what the

 **spACEbar** : my hal?

 **captaincold** : excuse me, YOUR hal?

 **spACEbar** : you know exactly what i mean shut up

 **babybibibi** : trouble

 **detectiveprettybi** : yeah he looks sweet

 **spACEbar** : he’s also very straight

 **transco** : that’s never stopped him

 **pipes** : yeah but tommy had the benefit of the doubt

 **pipes** : with oliver sucking his dick and all

 **oliverqueer** : how the fuck do we keep circling back to this

 **detectiveprettybi** : did we ever establish whether he sucked yours in return

 **oliverqueer** : no

 **heatwave** : so rude

 **oliverqueer** : that was a ‘no, we aren’t doing this’

 **pipes** : so yes?

 **bilance** : i will find out

 **irisbest** : this freaking timing

 **lesbianda** : i am so proud

 **detectiveprettybi** : anyway jk i thought it was established that mick is the new goal

 **spACEbar** : he has a point there

 **transco** : oh yes

 **detectiveprettybi** : plus I need something to do, mick care to go boxing with me

 **heatwave** : no

 **captaincold** : ha

 **heatwave** : am in class

 **irisbest** : that he is

 **irisbest** : [image attached]

 **pipes** : mick in glasses IS a sight for gay eyes

 **babybibibi** : hmmm

 **irisbest** : [image attached]

 **irisbest** : :(

 **lesbianda** : have some respect mick!!!

 **irisbest** : thank you

 **lesbianda** : youre IN CLASS

 **irisbest** : wow

 **oliverqueer** : so much love

 **bilance** : I love my gf

 **transco** : we know

 **detectiveprettybi** : we heard

 **pipes** : I didn’t

 **pipes** : perks of being deaf

 **oliverqueer** : perks of being in another county

 **bilance** : she corrected my teacher’s statement about Buddhism earlier

 **bilance** : saying that the western world twists a lot about it and back in Tibet etc etc

 **bilance** : and then ended with a speech about bön

 **bilance** : I am so in love

 **babybibibi** : what is bön

 **captaincold** : old Tibetan religion

 **detectiveprettybi** : I thought Buddhism was old Tibetan

 **bilance** : Buddhism is Indian you honk

 **irisbest** : eddie is really scoring today

 **bilance** : though it is mostly in Tibet by now

 **detectiveprettybi** : aha!

 **lesbianda** : I love when armchair professors have to face real life

 **irisbest** : right??? it’s the best

 **transco** : I love bringing up the negation of certain scientists due to racism

 **lesbianda** : make it intersectional racism in regards to women

 **irisbest** : amen

 **captaincold** : getting real today are we

 **lesbianda** : well someone has to

 **detectiveprettybi** : I’m gonna go back to staring at the ceiling

 **babybibibi** : you should lie on the floor for that, it’s a whole new experience

 **babybibibi** : KITCHEN FLOOR

 **pipes** : why are you screaming

 **babybibibi** : epiphany

 **transco** : I prefer the bathroom floor

 **babybibibi** : still a big yikes from me

 **pipes** : ikr in that shithole that is his apartment

 **transco** : fucking rude

 **spACEbar** : they’re right

 **transco** : et tu, bar

 **lesbianda** : they’re just telling the truth

 **transco** : you can’t bully me into moving!!!

 **transco** : I am poor!!!

 **transco** : and I love my flat

 **pipes** : you start swearing in the middle of the night bc you stubbed your toe on a loose FLOOR BOARD

 **transco** : it only came loose recently!!! I’ll get used to it!

 **heatwave** : that’s good ofc

 **babybibibi** : sco is the type of person who goes ‘oh that happens every time dw’ about something that could be extremely dangerous just bc fixing it would be expensive

 **transco** : STOP TALKING LIKE THIS THERE’S A BILLIONAIRE HERE

 **transco** : I DON’T WANT HIM TO PAY MY SHIT SHHH

 **bilance** : you’re lame cisco

 **pipes** : my boyfriend, seeing sparks fly in his bathroom: well if I die, I die

 **irisbest** : FRANCISCO PACO RAMON

 **irisbest** : W H A T

 **transco** : he’s exaggerating!!!

 **transco** : there is NOTHING life-threatening

 **captaincold** : squints

 **oliverqueer** : I know I told you I won’t pay for anything you feel uncomfortable about

 **oliverqueer** : but cisco PLEASE

 **lesbianda** : there’s probably alternatives that won’t require ollie to pay for you

 **transco** : well I do feel extremely uncomfortable with this conversation

 **transco** : thank you very much hart

 **heatwave** : oh you aint getting any today

 **babybibibi** : … let’s change the topic I guess

 **irisbest** : well idk

 **spACEbar** : how are you even still gone @ oliver

 **spACEbar** : you have class!!!

 **spACEbar** : you own a nightclub!!!

 **spACEbar** : tommy works there!!

 **spACEbar** : felicity has a job!!!

 **captaincold** : are you gonna have a breakdown about this

 **spACEbar** : I’m just really concerned all around

 **oliverqueer** : we can afford a few days off

 **oliverqueer** : I legally have those to panic over my bachelor thesis

 **lesbianda** : I told you you have enough resources to do a proper analysis of your own concerns

 **lesbianda** : you can easily use either the foundation or verdant if you just tALKED to your prof

 **oliverqueer** : I’ll have you know ivo is a creepy guy

 **oliverqueer** : why is he my supervisor!!

 **bilance** : lmao rmbr when I took an elective he taught

 **bilance** : and dropped it after we had an argument in the first session

 **captaincold** : you’re weak

 **bilance** : no I’m big on self-care

 **irisbest** : queen

 **lesbianda** : we stan

 **bilance** : speaking off, I will now spend some time with my gf

 **babybibibi** : how long is she staying

 **oliverqueer** : middle of June

 **spACEbar** : WORM

 **captaincold** : is that what happens when your profession is “child of rich people”

 **bilance** : you’d have loved to know that huh

 **heatwave** : ya

 **captaincold** : you know me too well

 **babybibibi** : are you gonna leave the chat again

 **captaincold** : don’t tempt me

 **spACEbar** : lennnnnn

 **irisbest** : bar: one word

 **irisbest** : snart: melts

 **captaincold** : I don’t melt

 **heatwave** : [image attached]

 **heatwave** : looks like pretty bi’s next goal is lise actually

 **captaincold** : NO

 **babybibibi** : they ARE lying on the kitchen floor!!!!

 **oliverqueer** : where did hartmon go

 **lesbianda** : either fighting or fucking

 **babybibibi** : where’s the difference for them

 **irisbest** : ^

 **spACEbar** : glad we settled that

 **captaincold** : what is my sister doing on the floor with him

 **heatwave** : chillin

 **captaincold** : I cannot even tell if you did that pun on purpose

 **irisbest** : mine was!

 **lesbianda** : was it really

 **irisbest** : I can do puns!!!

 **spACEbar** : as cisco would say, doubt.png

 **irisbest** : rude

 **irisbest** : I’m gonna eat all your ice cream

 **spACEbar** : NOT IF I EAT IT FIRST

 **oliverqueer** : they’ll get sick

 **captaincold** : yep

 **spACEbar** : IT’LL BE WORTH IT

 **irisbest** : they deserve that

 **babybibibi** : sometimes I’m really glad that I am an only child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mick, an icon, flipping iris off during writing class (zari is probably just sitting there shaking her head at them)
> 
> i wrote some arrowverse fics last week check out my profile for them pls thanks
> 
> also imma go to comic con this weekend and i'll see lots of people including dominic purcell and now i can finally see IF i am truly attracted to him or nah, i am excited


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bar and oliver are keeping us on our feet

**detectiveprettybi** : what is bar doing in singh’s office

**transco** : they’re where now

**detectiveprettybi** : idk man they showed up, looking anxious and then they & joe met up with DA Horton and went to singh’s office

**lesbianda** : dammit where are the people who could know shit

**pipes** : you are a people who knows shit

**bilance** : your meme usage is increasing by the day

**transco** : :’)

**bilance** : it’s horrible

**transco** : :’(

**detectiveprettybi** : I curse singh’s blinds

**lesbianda** : lmao we said the same thing when you had your interview

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah I know I read up on it

**oliverqueer** : I cannot believe you are not informed linda

**oliverqueer** : you’re fired

**bilance** : woah being back in thea’s proximity charged your sarcasm huh

**lesbianda** : thank god for a second I thought—

**oliverqueer** : between thea and Malcolm it’s a survival instinct kicking in

**bilance** : ugh why are you seeing Malcolm

**oliverqueer** : he keeps showing up!!

**transco** : lock him out

**oliverqueer** : that Does Not Stop Him

**bilance** : it really doesn’t

**bilance** : Malcolm is a known trespasser

**detectiveprettybi** : literally what the fuck

**pipes** : I can’t tell if tommy’s father is an icon or not

**oliverqueer** : definitely not

**bilance** : are y’all hiding from him

**oliverqueer** : ofc

**bilance** : good on you

**lesbianda** : I’m torn between THAT gossip and the bar gossip

**detectiveprettybi** : nothing happening with bar, they’re still all in the office

**babybibibi** : maybe they’re giving them a stern talking to bc they’re back with snart

**transco** : they’d be given them a medal if anything

**pipes** : ribbon reading “thank you for sacrificing yourself”

**oliverqueer** : woah since when a we bullying snart

**transco** : well you’re not here for that are you

**bilance** : so yall are suicidal, got it

**pipes** : shrug emoji

**snowflake** : h a r t l e y

**pipes** : how the f cuk

**babybibibi** : wasn’t me, we aren’t even in the same part of town

**lesbianda** : superhero Caitlin snow

**heatwave** : always bullying snart

**transco** : ofc u are

**oliverqueer** : mick isn’t that your purpose in life 

**lesbianda** : what about your purposes ollie

**oliverqueer** : … are you asking me when i’ll come back

**lesbianda** : yes

**oliverqueer** : sighs

**oliverqueer** : we’re on our way to the jet

**pipes** : doesn’t flying increase the co2-emission

**pipes** : you’re bad at saving the world, oliver jonas queen

**transco** : gasp, caitlin cover your eyes

**oliverqueer** : well i would take the train but i have a meeting with ivo in 4 hours

**oliverqueer** : plus excuse you we have this weird super fuel that leaves no trace in the atmosphere

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**transco** : tell us more

**oliverqueer** : … i don’t know what it is exactly

**bilance** : jfc oliver you can’t mention something like this to nerds and then not continue

**pipes** : yEAH

**oliverqueer** : i could always refer you to my mom

**pipes** : i know your mother and i pass

**bilance** : hfkgjgkg that’s the biggest mood

**transco** : i want to meet moira i am curious

**pipes** : no babe you really ain’t

**lesbianda** : why moira though, technically walter is in charge of the company isn’t he

**babybibibi** : yeah i thought your mom stepped back from that when she became mayor

**oliverqueer** : i’m not sure what to focus on i am overwhelmed by linda referring to my parents by their first names

**lesbianda** : do you think your dad wouldve let me call him bobby

**bilance** : knowing you i think you’d probably have made him do that

**heatwave** : kinky

**transco** : mick you’re so chatty today do you know anything about the bar situation

**babybibibi** : where did eddie even disappear to

**captaincold** : maybe he’s stepping up and actually working

**transco** : SNART

**captaincold** : no

**transco** : was that a ‘no i don’t know anything either’ or a ‘no, i ain’t telling you shit’

**pipes** : do you really need an answer to that question

**bilance** : snart, when faced with the apocalypse and in possession of the only rescue: i’m not gonna tell you anything

**captaincold** : idk why you’re pointing it out like that when it’s painfully obvious that this is what would, in fact, happen

**oliverqueer** : lmao

**babybibibi** : ppl snart would rescue: bar, lisa, mick

**pipes** : pff he wouldn’t rescue mick

**captaincold** : yeah mick can go rescue himself

**lesbianda** : we’re not doubting him

**captaincold** : no, that was more in the tone of ‘he can go fuck himself’

**transco** : ah. Of course

**bilance** : naturally

**lesbianda** : anyway so oliver are you finally listening to me?

**oliverqueer** : it was more like a lot of people telling me the same thing over and over

**bilance** : takes a while to get through that thick skull of yours huh

**oliverqueer** : you’d know

**snowflake** : oliver are you, perhaps, scared of graduating

**oliverqueer** : NO???

**oliverqueer** : hell i’m looking forward to not having CLASSES anymore

**oliverqueer** : and, like, why would i even feel anxious about that, i have the best security net possible so even IF i fail in life it’s not like i’ll be on the edge of death

**transco** : oh god

**lesbianda** : oliver

**captaincold** : queen, you are scared as fuck

**oliverqueer** : i just gave you plenty of proof of how i’m not

**babybibibi** : yeah but in a way that shows that you are WAY too aware of what could go wrong

**oliverqueer** : no??? The only thing that could go wrong is that ivo does one of his asshole moves and goes specifically ONLY for the theories he knows i know jackshit about

**oliverqueer** : and, you know, higher math

**oliverqueer** : but felicity is helping with that, so!

**oliverqueer** : and it’s not like i don’t know what to do after graduation either, i have plenty of plans and options and also MONEY

**irisbest** : oliver babe you’re spiralling

**oliverqueer** : i’m NOT

**bilance** : i’m texting felicity

**oliverqueer** : there’s no need!!! I’m not spiralling!

**oliverqueer** : i’m gonna talk about my thesis with ivo later and then i’ll work towards my gradu

**captaincold** : smoak pulled the plug huh

**bilance** : [image attached]

**transco** : lmao she WATCHED him freak out

**pipes** : “he’s not good with change” wtf but he is

**pipes** : the quiver changes its inhabitants every week

**irisbest** : that’s not as life-changing as graduating

**pipes** : i found it v life-changing

**bilance** : and that’s why y’all are leaving us. Right

**pipes** : that again

**transco** : roasted

**pipes** : u stay silent

**babybibibi** : WAIT IRIS IS HERE

**irisbest** : i read up and no i do not know what’s happening and none of them are picking up their phone

**lesbianda** : did you try calling singh

**irisbest** : you try calling singh

**lesbianda** : maybe i will

**captaincold** : i have to wonder if lesbians have a special connection to middle-aged men or if it’s just you

**heatwave** : just her

**captaincold** : probably

**lesbianda** : wow was that a compliment

**captaincold** : don’t test me

**irisbest** : i for one am very for the whole “talking them out of dating snart” idea

**captaincold** : what did i ever do to you

**bilance** : didn’t charm every west after all huh

**detectiveprettybi** : i fucking hate witnesses

**detectiveprettybi** : especially those who think they’re important when they clearly aren’t

**pipes** : lmao what happened

**detectiveprettybi** : it was very Important that someone lost their scarf on the other side of the street during the robbery of a jewelry store

**heatwave** : every detail matters

**captaincold** : could’ve been some kinda sign

**detectiveprettybi** : y’all really think I didn’t consider that

**captaincold** : honestly could be the case with u

**transco** : what’s happening on the bar fronnnnnnnt

**detectiveprettybi** : nothing yet, they’re still all in singh’s office

**lesbianda** : you’re useless for intel

**pipes** : linda is about to drop by herself

**lesbianda** : honestly? Yeah

**detectiveprettybi** : i need to go confer with colleagues and let it be known i will burst with curiosity

**babybibibi** : so goeth and snoopeth

**bilance** : you just get worse don’t you

**transco** : why isn’t snart curious at all

**captaincold** : bc i know bar will tell me if they feel like it?

**irisbest** : will they tho

**captaincold** : i said, if they feel like it

**lesbianda** : you’re boring

**pipes** : he definitely knows something

**irisbest** : no he doesn’t bc i won’t accept if snart knows something that i don’t

**snowflake** : does anyone else feel like we’re all barely paying attention in class this semester

**transco** : cait don’t talk of a ‘we’ when you obviously don’t fit to the rest

**snowflake** : ok

**snowflake** : i feel like none of you guys are paying attention in class this semester

**heatwave** : we ain’t

**snowflake** : noooooooooooo

**lesbianda** : for your sake, caitlin, i will continue to frown at my phone in silence then

**irisbest** : same

**irisbest** : should be working on a character description anyways

**pipes** : i’m at work and bored

**bilance** : fine i’ll text nyssa then

**snowflake** : i didn’t want everyone to leave :((

**babybibibi** : it’s ok babe they’d have just spiralled until bar gets back anyways

**snowflake** : right

**snowflake** : i love you <3

**babybibibi** : i love you too <3

**heatwave** : i vomit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- my internet is back!  
> \- i'm not caught up on anything  
> \- [i met some dc peeps](https://joanthangroff.tumblr.com/post/189706403263/so-here-we-go-with-the-last-comic-con-experience)


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bar's news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oliver is busy with his appointment with ivo/chilling at felicity's, he's still throwing a fit but don't worry, unlike other people i'm not killing him

**lesbianda** : i am still curious for the record

**transco** : and here i thought we all collectively died

**irisbest** : bar can’t talk right now, they’re busy crying

**snowflake** : THEY’RE WHAT

**irisbest** : well i assume at least

**irisbest** : went off to the criminals’

**lesbianda** : iris what the fuck

**irisbest** : :)

**bilance** : iris between my girlfriend and me there’s about 10 belts in different martial arts 

**irisbest** : it’s their news i ain’t telling you anything

**lesbianda** : for fuck’s sake, iris

**transco** : this is what betrayal feels like

**captaincold** : fucking hell i really hate all of you

**captaincold** : i’m fairly certain i didn’t give out my number AT ALL

**heatwave** : STOP IT

**irisbest** : are they spamming all of you

**captaincold** : YOU did this

**spACEbar** : IT’S GOOD NEWS

**spACEbar** : HAPPY TEARS

**pipes** : did ccpd hire you early

**detectiveprettybi** : please tell them i can’t keep quiet for long

**irisbest** : you know????

**transco** : tell us!!!!

**snowflake** : what’s going on?

**babybibibi** : eye emoji

**bilance** : BIG EYE EMOJI

**spACEbar** : THEY’RE PICKING UP MY PARENTS’ CASE AGAIN

**transco** : THEY’RE WHAT

**snowflake** : !!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

**bilance** : is it appropriate to say “congrats”?

**lesbianda** : that’s amazing!!!!!

**irisbest** : :))))

**spACEbar** : yes i still can’t believe

**spACEbar** : i fear ill wake up from a dream tbh

**pipes** : how come they’re reopening it

**babybibibi** : not too enthusiastic hart

**pipes** : im just curious!!

**spACEbar** : they got some anonymous input about new methods that can be reapplied 

**spACEbar** : honestly the details kinda flew over me as i sat there bc my mind stopped working

**snowflake** : aw

**spACEbar** : but YEAH that’s HAPPENING

**spACEbar** : I’M OVERWHELMED

**transco** : that’s so cool i’m screaming

**heatwave** : is the nerd squad getting a hard-on for the new methods

**lesbianda** : i’m speechless

**lesbianda** : i’m so happy for you

**bilance** : fucking nice!!! 

**captaincold** : y’all ain’t getting more info, I’m taking their phone before they go crazy about details

**irisbest** : they really are overwhelmed

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah they looked like it

**pipes** : knowing them they’re going through every possible outcome in their mind

**transco** : and obsessing over the worst

**snowflake** : :(

**bilance** : why did you know about it eddie

**lesbianda** : SINCE WHEN did you know about it

**lesbianda** : did you PRETEND to be stupid

**detectiveprettybi** : aw you think i need to *pretend* to be stupid

**babybibibi** : you make me speechless

**irisbest** : wouldnt be the first one

**detectiveprettybi** : anyyyway

**detectiveprettybi** : joe told me about it when bar left

**detectiveprettybi** : idk if it was bc it was apparent that im a Concerned Friend™ or bc we’re partners but we tight

**transco** : doubt.png

**pipes** : when Will You Stop

**irisbest** : hang on you mean you knew before ME

**detectiveprettybi** : did i

**bilance** : it does seem like it

**lesbianda** : and befORE ME

**snowflake** : everything is happening so much

**transco** : life be like that

**babybibibi** : we shouldn’t be obsessing over it either should we

**irisbest** : i mean. I sure as fuck am

**snowflake** : noooooo you’ll fire up bar’s anxiety

**irisbest** : i’m the expert at obsessing quietly shhhh

**pipes** : may i change the topic

**bilance** : shoot

**pipes** : did oliver die

**bilance** : are you only asking bc it’s his turn with cooking

**pipes** : maybe

**detectiveprettybi** : so that’s gonna be your only concern for my health in the future

**transco** : sometimes it’s his only concern for me

**lesbianda** : wouldn’t have picked hart to be such a foodie

**babybibibi** : he isn’t

**babybibibi** : he hates eating but he knows it’s necessary so he prefers when he doesn’t have to cook himself

**transco** : my trans ass is still appalled by the idea of hating to eat

**irisbest** : cisco before T: | cisco after T: C R U N C H

**transco** : u laugh but that’s literally how it’s been

**pipes** : im spoiled ok

**bilance** : and here i thought millionaires are too poor to have personal cooks

**lesbianda** : the sarcasm is strong in you

**bilance** : thanks

**irisbest** : okay but how didn’t cait perk up at that display of unhealthy behaviour

**babybibibi** : she’s still overwhelmed by bar’s news

**detectiveprettybi** : aw

**detectiveprettybi** : also hartley you literally know how bad i am at cooking how do you want to survive

**pipes** : take-out

**pipes** : or cisco

**transco** : thanks

**pipes** : <3

**detectiveprettybi** : as long as i get fed

**transco** : pff

**babybibibi** : did y’all ever get updates on that apartment u looked at

**detectiveprettybi** : which one

**bilance** : YOU LOOKED AT MORE?

**lesbianda** : that’s how it typically goes, sara

**irisbest** : you didn’t tell us!

**transco** : told me tho

**lesbianda** : hart’s better told u

**transco** : ikr

**pipes** : i do hope we get one of those with a bathtub

**detectiveprettybi** : cisco pls explain that obsession to me

**transco** : why should i know

**detectiveprettybi** : he’s your bf

**babybibibi** : didnt we establish that hartley is lazy

**pipes** : yeah why’d i keep standing after a long dayyyyyy

**bilance** : damn is he as lazy during sex

**transco** : no

**lesbianda** : good for you

**detectiveprettybi** : anyway yes we looked at a few more apartments and have liek three others lined up to check out next week, we’re busy bees

**detectiveprettybi** : literally how didn’t you notice

**irisbest** : so much is happening lately

**babybibibi** : yeah the decade is rushing us by

**lesbianda** : time for my campaign soon!!!

**pipes** : easy you still have one and a half years

**irisbest** : 2020 can’t come soon enough!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote a [coldflash oneshot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932479) y'all should check out!
> 
> see y'all next year!


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> employment chats and glee references

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year!!!

**babybibibi** : I can’t believe it’s almost June 

**transco** : in that weather???? I sure can

**lesbianda** : i want to go on vacation

**transco** : GASP

**transco** : LINDA!

**transco** : during pride month???

**lesbianda** : unrelated to the timely sphere

**lesbianda** : i just feel like it

**heatwave** : maybe Queen will give u a vaycay 4 ur birthday

**lesbianda** : Mick you goddamn genius

**heatwave** : about time someone notices

**babybibibi** : we’ve all been knew

**transco** : wasn’t there news for pride month

**oliverqueer** : if I’m allowed to gift such a thing,,

**oliverqueer** : yes! big announcement tomorrow!!!

**lesbianda** : Ollie you know that I’m greedy

**pipes** : are u tho

**irisbest** : eh

**lesbianda** : that’s my bestie everyone

**irisbest** : <3

**spACEbar** : we all know you’re just in it for joes love

**lesbianda** : I’ve been exposed

**babybibibi** : we been knew that too

**oliverqueer** : I love the attention I’m getting here

**bilance** : ohhh don’t you get enough already

**pipes** : [video attached]

**pipes** : hes getting plenty 

**transco** : omg Ollie run she’s about to murder you

**spACEbar** : WHAT DID U DO

**bilance** : no that’s how she usually looks at him

**heatwave** : aw ninja is jealous

**oliverqueer** : no Nyssa just hates me

**babybibibi** : :(

**snowflake** : ANNOUNCEMENT??

**oliverqueer** : caitlin is my fav here

**snowflake** : (:

**pipes** : but only bc felicity isn’t here

**oliverqueer** : well obviously,

**irisbest** : we stan the smoakin’ queens

**spACEbar** : what’s gonna be announced!!!!

**lesbianda** : you’ll have to wait for tomorrow ;)

**spACEbar** : u know i’m running late

**spACEbar** : OH WAIT LITERALLY THO

**spACEbar** : geddit cuz im running

**captaincold** : babe don’t hurt urself

**spACEbar** : :(

**babybibibi** : hey that’s my thing!

**oliverqueer** : we’re gonna wait for you dw

**transco** : knowing us all we’ll have to wait some time before we calm down anyways

**detectiveprettybi** : do i get to know beforehand

**lesbianda** : absolutely not

**detectiveprettybi** : why

**oliverqueer** : you’re a tattletale

**detectiveprettybi** : fucking wHERE

**spACEbar** : you do give off those vibes

**detectiveprettybi** : WHOMST I am GREAT at keeping secrets

**detectiveprettybi** : y’all didn’t know hart and i were gonna move out

**detectiveprettybi** : joe still doesn’t know iris and i fucked!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : and if you knew what else i didn’t tell!!!

**captaincold** : oh yes you are amazing at keeping secrets

**irisbest** : eddie babe you drew us all a picture of what bruce is like in bed

**detectiveprettybi** : YOU ASKEd

**lesbianda** : we’re not telling anyone beforehand bc people will think we’re playing favorites

**lesbianda** : happy?

**detectiveprettybi** : yes

**detectiveprettybi** : bc this statement is not insulting me

**heatwave** : ur job is literally to tell on ppl

**transco** : point for mick

**pipes** : mick gets all the points

**snowflake** : well now im starved for an announcement

**captaincold** : quick someone save her

**babybibibi** : aww you LIKE cait

**transco** : established: everyone likes cait

**irisbest** : I bought new shaving cream!!

**lesbianda** : !!!!

**lesbianda** : gurl give me the deeds

**oliverqueer** : are you really this excited about beauty products

**bilance** : yes it’s a girl thing

**irisbest** : it smells like white chocolate and I Am A Big Fan

**detectiveprettybi** : oh niiiice

**transco** : I prefer dark chocolate

**captaincold** : white chocolate is no chocolate

**captaincold** : it is the absence of chocolate

**pipes** : wasn’t glee’s sam’s stripper name white chocolate

**transco** : help him ollie-wan Kenobi you’re his only hope

**babybibibi** : that was so bad sco

**bilance** : says the one who’s bad at puns all over

**snowflake** : where did you get that!!!!

**oliverqueer** : yes

**detectiveprettybi** : i cant believe you remembered that

**oliverqueer** : i love that episode ok

**captaincold** : bc of the stripping dude?

**transco** : oliver, back when he was a closeted queer:  [sweats]

**oliverqueer** : nooo it’s a soft ep!!!

**pipes** : it really is

**irisbest** : at that drug store close to jitters

**lesbianda** : lmao where else

**babybibibi** : i feel like we only alternate between jitters, big bellys and saints & sinners

**oliverqueer** : how come my club isn’t on that list

**captaincold** : bc it’s at the end of the world queen

**bilance** : told you it’s BAD

**spACEbar** : how come we didn’t infiltrate big belly’s yet

**snowflake** : what do you mean

**spACEbar** : well mick works at saints and iris does her summer job at jitters

**babybibibi** : oh you doooooooo

**irisbest** : no discount for you

**detectiveprettybi** : what about your dad’s partner

**heatwave** : sounds gay

**transco** : sara needs to work at big bellys

**bilance** : what why

**pipes** : you don’t have a job

**bilance** : neither has bar and it seems like their thing

**bilance** : ALSO CISCO

**bilance** : dude has experience with working with food!!!

**spACEbar** : do you know what working for a fast food chain would do for my anxiety

**captaincold** : it sounds like you’re being lazy lance

**bilance** : im allowed to be, i have a rich gf

**heatwave** : sugar mommy confirmed

**transco** : dhfkfjfkg omg

**snowflake** : snart doesn’t have a job either!!

**pipes** : great now he’ll kill you after all

**captaincold** : i have an application running, thank you very much

**oliverqueer** : oh what

**bilance** : OH THE MUSEUM DUDE?

**spACEbar** : :))

**captaincold** : not like i have many options to choose from 

**snowflake** : i feel like that would really fit to you though!!

**irisbest** : snart and showing off his knowledge? 100%

**captaincold** : i hate when you’re all chatty

**babybibibi** : was that snart speak for “change the topic, please”

**spACEbar** : yes

**transco** : okay okay okay okay what to talk about

**bilance** : i love my gf

**oliverqueer** : mood

**lesbianda** : BIG mood

**babybibibi** : i love my fiance

**snowflake** : <33

**pipes** : i love my bf

**transco** : dito

**spACEbar** : same

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : glad we all settled that

**captaincold** : what’s up west you don’t sound cheery

**irisbest** : i was just reminded that i have yet to fuck bruce wayne

**detectiveprettybi** : 10/10 would rec

**oliverqueer** : eddie is gonna create a glist 

**lesbianda** : let mick help

**heatwave** : the fuck is a glist

**pipes** : a glee thing, you wouldn’t understand

**babybibibi** : sighs…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- the video hartley posts is literally just nyssa glaring at oliver at the breakfast table  
> \- ollie-wan kenobi might be the funniest thing i ever wrote  
> \- the pic eddie posts is the timmy turner trophy meme only that it says "THIS IS WHERE I'D PUT MY LOVE FOR MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER...... IF I HAD ONE"  
> \- the glist is a list on glee where people are ranked by their hotness, season one episode "bad reputation" which also features not only one but two superb performances by the people in my icon, god bless


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know what's happening in this chapter and i only wrote it just now

**bilance** : BETRAYAL

**bilance** : HOW THE FUCK

**detectiveprettybi** : am i getting news!!!

**bilance** : EDDIE

**bilance** : LOOK AT THIS

**bilance** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : nyssa!!!!!

**bilance** : …………

**detectiveprettybi** : and… who’s that again? A newbie

**bilance** : THAT’S MY MORTAL ENEMY

**bilance** : EDDIE YOU MET HER

**bilance** : YOU HATE HER

**detectiveprettybi** : i didnt even talk to her

**bilance** : you hate her bc i hate her and youre my fav bi

**detectiveprettybi** : makes sense

**detectiveprettybi** : so where’s the problem here

**bilance** : THEY GET ALONG

**bilance** : i thought nyssa would kick her ass but NO

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s so sad

**detectiveprettybi** : alexa

**bilance** : no

**detectiveprettybi** : play despacito

**bilance** : im leaving you again

**detectiveprettybi** : :’(

**detectiveprettybi** : come back with the announcement!

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : pouty sara 

**transco** : are we gonna keep doing this

**irisbest** : doing what

**babybibibi** : we aren’t doing anything

**spACEbar** : exactly

**pipes** : aw come on eddie’s working anyways

**captaincold** : how has he yet to be involved in a major case

**oliverqueer** : snart wants eddie to be shot

**captaincold** : and what about it

**transco** : SNART you can’t use an ari meme and not post the gif!

**captaincold** : consider this

**captaincold** : [image attached]

**oliverqueer** : PARKS & REC

**transco** : now you’re just mocking me

**spACEbar** : ofc he is

**transco** : that’s the man you chose to love

**spACEbar** : shrug emoji

**babybibibi** : damn snart whatcha doing to them

**pipes** : where is bar the sunshine

**heatwave** : snart ate them up

**lesbianda** : eye emoji

**spACEbar** : im just tired

**snowflake** : yeah you didn’t look too fit earlier :((

**spACEbar** : dw nothing serious, this dude at track just kept challenging me

**spACEbar** : and it’s annoying bc i only just started but he still thinks it means he’s WAAAY superior to me 

**captaincold** : give me a name

**spACEbar** : len no

**lesbianda** : then give me a new i wanna research him to dig out his beginning

**irisbest** : let’s make fun of HIM

**pipes** : yeeeees

**spACEbar** : you’re all evil

**transco** : he was evil first

**spACEbar** : …….. Hunter zolomon

**heatwave** : what kinda fuck name is that

**babybibibi** : omg that CANT be his real name

**babybibibi** : he’s a RUNNER and called HUNTER

**spACEbar** : yeah I’m fairly sure it’s his athletic nickname

**captaincold** : pretentious 

**heatwave** : says you

**pipes** : damn bar where do all your villains come from this month

**bilance** : May is generally a bad month maybe that’s why

**oliverqueer** : Are you gonna continue with the fact that’s it’s my bday there and that’s why

**bilance** : …. that would’ve been mean wouldn’t it

**snowflake** : yeah :(

**spACEbar** : also „villains“ lmao Ralph and Julian are almost funny with their glares 

**irisbest** : they are no Tony 

**spACEbar** : RIGHT

**irisbest** : ugh now I made myself think of him

**babybibibi** : who is tony 

**spACEbar** : High School nemesis 

**transco** : yikes

**spACEbar** : yeah he beat me up and hit on iris it was. A lot

**snowflake** : what! oh no :(

**irisbest** : yeah we threatened with a restraining order and then he transferred schools, it was a win

**oliverqueer** : nice

**pipes** : so Snart can put the weapons of his choice away again huh

**captaincold** : doesnt negate what he has done before 

**spACEbar** : Len it’s fine 

**spACEbar** : <3

**detectiveprettybi** : DISTRACTION INCOMING

**detectiveprettybi** : WHERE IS THE ANNOUNCEMENT

**oliverqueer** : maybe we wanted to tell you in person

**detectiveprettybi** : YOULL BE ASLEEP WHEN I COME HOME

**lesbianda** : Patience you must have my young padawan 

**transco** : wow

**detectiveprettybi** : nooo tell me

**lesbianda** : fine Oliver you have the honours

**oliverqueer** : wow i don’t see sara typing yet to interrupt me

**irisbest** : i think she went back to pouting

**babybibibi** : didn’t nyssa and ava agree to go out for drinks

**transco** : yeeeep

**captaincold** : queen wanted us all to bond with the newbies and who does? The girl from the other end of the world

**detectiveprettybi** : do you all love torturing me

**heatwave** : yes

**detectiveprettybi** : mick you can torture me any time

**captaincold** : disgusting

**pipes** : eddie are you even into any kinks

**transco** : íncest

**detectiveprettybi** : i swear if any outsiders ever read this chat my career will be ruined

**lesbianda** : for good measure we should clarify for everyone who might be reading this that nobody here endorses incest

**irisbest** : yes

**snowflake** : who DOES

**oliverqueer** : oh cait

**detectiveprettybi** : OLIVER JONAS QUEEN

**oliverqueer** : we got a float at central city pride!!!

**oliverqueer** : the club, that is. They insisted that it’s a local group, so that’s the focus

**oliverqueer** : BUT we’re allowed to bring friends so some supporters of the foundation are joining

**irisbest** : SHOTGUN

**detectiveprettybi** : which supporters

**detectiveprettybi** : OK FINE I GUESS I KNOW

**oliverqueer** : bruce didn’t even confirm yet jesus christ

**oliverqueer** : nobody did but im sure some will

**captaincold** : sure

**spACEbar** : len be nice

**detectiveprettybi** : BUT NICE

**detectiveprettybi** : ive never been IN any parade

**irisbest** : does keystone even have one

**detectiveprettybi** : no i always came over for it

**spACEbar** : eddie then you shouldve been able to see that pedestrians can join too

**heatwave** : we never did

**transco** : did you watch the parade at least

**captaincold** : nah we either got hammered or watched people’s wallets

**detectiveprettybi** : lalalalala im not allowed to read this

**detectiveprettybi** : anyways i was a chubby small bi with no self esteem until a few years ago i wouldve never joined the march on my own

**lesbianda** : awwww

**pipes** : i never went to pride altogether

**oliverqueer** : oh what 

**pipes** : yeah i was basically grounded for that day always

**irisbest** : what the fuck

**transco** : babe :((

**babybibibi** : don’t tell me your parents were afraid you’d catch the gay

**pipes** : basically

**captaincold** : i swear to fucking g*d

**lesbianda** : holy shit

**pipes** : so anyways i didn’t mean to kill the mood

**pipes** : i’m very excited for my first pride!

**snowflake** : and it’ll be the best!!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : i love that snart keeps offering to scare homophobes for us here

**transco** : wtf he only ever scared hart’s parents

**babybibibi** : yeah that’s his mo

**babybibibi** : and glaring at everyone who looks at bar the wrong way

**spACEbar** : well he also beat up fuller for saying a slur

**oliverqueer** : OH WHAT

**spACEbar** : wait wasnt that public knowledge

**captaincold** : no

**spACEbar** : well now your heroics are known

**captaincold** : youre REALLY adamant to destroy my rep

**spACEbar** : :)

**pipes** : when the fuck

**snowflake** : snart!!!!!

**detectiveprettybi** : thats what the big snart arrest in april was about

**captaincold** : exactly good fine enough about that

**transco** : snart you’re the hero we need but not the one we deserve

**babybibibi** : yeah we’d deserve someone nicer

**captaincold** : pff

**lesbianda** : can you decide whether ppl are supposed to like you or not

**oliverqueer** : man i wish i beat up fuller

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah you’d have loved to

**detectiveprettybi** : i mean. With your past

**spACEbar** : im SOOO looking forward to pride

**snowflake** : 16 days left!!!!

**irisbest** : we’re gonna live the best life during pride month

**transco** : HELL YEAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the pic that snart sends is the parks & recs meme of "i have a permit! [paper reading "i can do what i want"]"


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> smartphone? more like _snart_ phone

**Lawyer Lance**

April 09 2018

so how exactly am I gonna get 

Singh to sign this without him 

coming for my head

I don’t know, you could try to give it 

to DA Horton. She always gets what 

she wants.

ahhh yes. the famous Ce-Seal 

Your Fate Horton

i don’t want the detective to 

hear any about this tho

Why exactly? I mean, it does concern 

his kid. And wasn’t it his case in the 

first place?

until he took in bar yes. 

then it got ‘too personal’

So, reopening his investigation…? 

He will hear about that anyways.

I am aware

I just dont want him to think 

thats how I try to manipulate 

bar into forgiving me

And here I thought that’s what 

you’re doing.

fuck you

when did I first approach you 

abt this? Christmas?

Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.

cant you give it to horton? 

aren’t you her intern

… I’m doing an apprenticeship. 

At the DA of KEYSTONE.

y are you living in central then

Free housing :p

exploiting queen is a honorable 

thing, Ill give you that

I’ll see if I can contact Horton, but 

it’ll cost you.

sure, what do you want?

I don’t know yet. But I’ll think of 

something.

aight

and thx I guess

You’re welcome.

  
  


**Brawn**

April 10 2018

Bread

 

April 13 2018

Cheese

  
  


**Trainwreck New Phone**

April 15 2018

Where are you?

why aren’t you at the quiver???

 Lisa

Lisa Cary Snart

oh fuck off

trainwreck

i hope you died

 

April 16 2018

doesn’t feel good does it :)

  
  


**Bar <3**

April 17 2018

would it be weird if i called you?

it’s just. I’d talk to you about this 

normally too

it’s fine by me

it always is

i just wanted to make sure

i don’t want to, like, make things 

weird

you’re not leading me on if 

that’s what your concerned about.

yeah a little?

you sure im not?

we agreed you need to take your 

time its fine

jghgjggg

i take it that iris arrived

ill save you in a bit

and i really am proud of you 💙

  
  
  


**Brawn**

April 19 2018

bodywash

bodyspray

  
  
  


**CCC Private Chat:** _detectiveprettybi_

April 19 2018

so

joe randomly gave me your 

file today bc “you are my 

partner so i gotta make 

sure we’re on the same page”

i had no idea there was 

private messaging on this

g*dforsaken app

-.-

anyway if you’ve read it 

you’ll know i really aint 

opposed to murder

yeah sure that was my grande 

takeaway

not at all the fact as to WHY 

you beat up fuller

that old story still?

well it’s not over yet is it

and my big takeaway actually 

is that you’re a softie Snart 

and not just for bar

shut up

no rlly

defending oliver‘s honor? 

that’s noble

wouldve beaten up anyone 

for throwing around slurs

that’s got nothing to do with 

queen

sure

if you start any rumours 

about me pretty bi, i might 

tell the detective something 

about you and his daughter

you wouldn’t

you wouldn’t dare to anger iris

don’t test me

fine

then your good soul is a secret 

between us i guess

don’t make me laugh

  
  
  


 

**Brawn**

April 21 2018

iced tea

COFFEE

 

April 28 2018

Beer?

No

  
  


 

**gmail: snart.leonard01x04**

April 30 2018

 **From:** gideon.AI@RAT.com

 **To:** snart.leonard01x04@gmail.com

 **CC:** ripmhunter@RAT.com

 

 **Subject:** Re: Negative reply

 

Dear Mr Snart,

 

This is Gideon speaking, the assistant of Dr. Hunter, Captain of the Central City Bureau Protecting Remnants of All Times (henceforth called ‘Bureau’).

We would like you to know that we appreciate your honesty in regards to your past and mental health. Here at the Bureau, however, we believe in the passage of time as a positive concept and that it, therefore, can do a lot to a person. From your previous mail we understand that you are currently doing both probation and therapy as means to improve yourself.

Therefore, if you so please, we would very much like to consider your application with an attachment of both your parole officer and psychiatrist, including evaluations of your process on both parts.

For further questions and arrangements, please direct your messages at this address: gideon.AI@RAT.com.

We are looking forward to hearing more from you.

 

Best wishes,

Gideon (under the authority of Dr Rip M. Hunter)

  
  


 

**Brawn**

May 03 2018

toilet paper

  
  
  


 

**Mardon**

May 07 2018

just got out

U up for anything?

 

May 10 2018

Ah got it. 

Got a new burner heh?

  
  
  


 

**Brawn**

May 14 2018

ham

Mick, i don’t know how 

to tell you this

but I have been a 

vegetarian for 13 fucking 

years.

and?

i didn’t fucking finish 

off the ham

Must have been Lisa then

makes it even more your

job to buy new

fuck off

  
  
  


**Lawyer Lance**

May 17 2018

I have news!

They’re better to discuss 

in person, so I’ll catch you 

at Oliver’s party.

I may not share my 

datemates anxiety but you 

must know that thats a 

bad way to leave a guy 

hanging lance

So far it looks like good 

news!

 thanks

  
  
  


 

**Cisco**

May 24 2018

Snart I just realized your 

name is trans backwards

😥😥😥

I am so upset

do you want to have it

😱

we’re both taken men!

  
  


 

**Linda**

May 24 2018

I have enough material to 

blackmail you

tell us what’s happened to 

bar

  
  


 

**Ninja Lance**

May 24 2018

hey snart how many martial arts 

do you know

figured

so best check the groupchat

  
  
  


 

 **CCC Private Chat:** _babybibibi_

May 24 2018

if you come talk to us i’ll keep 

sharing my weed with mick

whats that to do with me

makes him chill doesnt it

WOAH PUN POWER BABY

  
  
  


 

**Queen**

May 24 2018

snart we’re curious!!!

  
  


 

**Pipes**

May 24 2018

i’m not creative enough for threats 

so i’ll just

s

n

a

r

t

w

h

a

t

s

g

o

i

n

g

o

n

jesus christ


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> linda is not having a good time, y'all

**babybibibi** : HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!

**transco** : WE’RE AT OUR FULL POWER

**lesbianda** : i’m always at my full power

**pipes** : we have no doubt actually

**lesbianda** : uwu

**bilance** : it’s the time where you get all kinda shit in rainbow design bc capitalism makes corporations fake acceptance

**spACEbar** : damn that’s dark

**bilance** : it’s what nyssa got when i explained pride month to her

**snowflake** : wait, she didn’t know it?

**bilance** : i explained it to her some time ago, mind you

**bilance** : but yeah they don’t have it at her home :((

**captaincold** : that’s a good analysis of it, though

**bilance** : yeah my gf is clever

**bilance** : except when she befriends my mortal enemy

**babybibibi** : how did that go

**bilance** : i have learnt a lot of things about ava sharpe and all of them against my will

**oliverqueer** : me with the kardashians

**detectiveprettybi** : didn’t thea force you and tommy to watch the show with her

**oliverqueer** : … why do you know that

**detectiveprettybi** : she mentioned it when she was here

**pipes** : i think for a moment ollie thought you guys are texting

**detectiveprettybi** : who’s to say we aren’t??

**captaincold** : the lack of incest jokes

**transco** : that’s true

**bilance** : did you know ava is a triplet?

**heatwave** : damn how’s a stuck up gal as her have two partners

**snowflake** : no mick, i think triplet as in three siblings

**heatwave** : ah

**heatwave** : still weird

**lesbianda** : yeah she mentioned it

**bilance** : you talk to her????

**transco** : top ten anime betrayals

**lesbianda** : yes, it’s called socializing sweetheart

**bilance** : hmpf

**detectiveprettybi** : is this how it went when nyssa and ava talked

**pipes** : yup

**detectiveprettybi** : amazing

**transco** : maybe ava is so stuck up bc she’s had to hold her own against two siblings and never felt good enough

**captaincold** : you don’t need project your own issues onto others

**transco** : okay, first of all,

**babybibibi** : damn i thought iris is studying psychology how is snart the one who analyzes us all

**detectiveprettybi** : where IS iris

**spACEbar** : preparing game night

**lesbianda** : it’s game night????

**oliverqueer** : don’t cry linda

**lesbianda** : i wasn’t invited?????

**captaincold** : sucks to be you

**lesbianda** : SNART WAS INVITED

**transco** : i repeat myself but: top ten anime betrayals

**pipes** : linda being excluded from her surrogate family </3

**snowflake** : i thought WE’RE the surrogate family

**detectiveprettybi** : no, we’re the FOUND family, there’s a difference

**spACEbar** : it’s a pre-birthday game night ofc he’s invited

**transco** : ohhh right snart’s birthday’s tomorrow

**captaincold** : and here snart hoped you all had forgotten, thanks babe

**snowflake** : no it’s in my calendar!

**captaincold** : wow.

**oliverqueer** : cait that’s so cute

**lesbianda** : you’re all on thin fucking ice @ wests

**lesbianda** : and no that pun wasn’t on purpose

**pipes** : so where are we heading tomorrow 

**captaincold** : nowhere

**transco** : oh whaaat

**detectiveprettybi** : snart doesn’t want us around :((

**oliverqueer** : here i thought we were finally becoming friends

**heatwave** : he aint celebrating so drop it

**babybibibi** : is anyone else as weirded out when mick becomes so protective of snart

**detectiveprettybi** : it’s frightening

**detectiveprettybi** : and hot

**transco** : was THAT pun on purpose at least

**detectiveprettybi** : … no

**transco** : you’re killing me

**pipes** : are we at least allowed to congratulate then

**oliverqueer** : no answer for five minutes, i guess game night started

**lesbianda** : i hope they end up killing each other

**snowflake** : :(((

**detectiveprettybi** : do you wanna come to the quiver we can have game night too

**lesbianda** : you know what? I just might

**babybibibi** : mick are you also at the wests’

**heatwave** : work

**oliverqueer** : yes!!! Let’s start pride month together!!!

**pipes** : im not coming back to the quiver now, im almost at cisco’s

**transco** : i wouldnt let you leave anyways

**bilance** : cute

**bilance** : nyssa says we’re in, she can’t wait to destroy you all

**oliverqueer** : ofc she can’t

**lesbianda** : cool, yeah, i’m waiting for my uber

**transco** : while im waiting for my bf and y’all are waiting for linda, do you wanna read the poem i wrote for pride month?

**detectiveprettybi** : are you actually going through with that

**detectiveprettybi** : just bc one (1) sentence of yours rhymed

**babybibibi** : he regularly speaks in rhymes, i’ve always wondered if it comes with knowing how to sing

**lesbianda** : bar can sing and only ever accidentally speaks in rhymes

**bilance** : they’re all waiting for the musical episodes of their lives

**bilance** : oliver better not be present for that tho

**oliverqueer** : you know i WOULD feel attacked but you are right

**transco** : … where’s my answer

**pipes** : is it the funny one

**transco** : like im not always funny

**detectiveprettybi** : truth

**snowflake** : yes pls share

**lesbianda** : i am curious

**oliverqueer** : we’re all on the edges of our seats

**oliverqueer** : well, metaphorically

**transco** : okay [clears throat]

**pipes** : oh you’re all gonna love this

**babybibibi** : im already giggling and i don’t know it yet

**transco** : If I wore a yellow dress / and gave it a twirl / you’d think, God bless, / that I am a girl.

**transco** : You’d be wrong / cuz this dress may be long, / but so is my dong.

**lesbianda** : DJFKGHGGJGJ

**oliverqueer** : WHAAT

**babybibibi** : FUCKIGGN

**detectiveprettybi** : I’M LOSING IT

**pipes** : told you

**snowflake** : oh my god cisco

**bilance** : can i read this out loud later

**detectiveprettybi** : can you print it on a t-shirt

**oliverqueer** : i really just had to wipe away some tears jesus

**lesbianda** : is this about the fact that clothes have no gender or is it a trans mood

**transco** : both

**lesbianda** : beautiful

**babybibibi** : iconic

**pipes** : kinda sad snart didn’t witness it

**transco** : DAMN I COULDA GIVEN IT FOR HIM AS A PRESENT

**transco** : why didnt you stop me ;A;

**detectiveprettybi** : he won’t want a present anyways so you’re good

**detectiveprettybi** : also damn im still laughing

**bilance** : that end hit me out of nowhere

**transco** : that’s what he said

**snowflake** : wow

**transco** : and yes read it to others i wanna create a fanbase

**lesbianda** : let’s get u a hipster poetry instagram

**pipes** : sure make him famous with ridiculous poems when he’s a literal genius

**transco** : you’re not the only person with multiple talents in this relationship hart

**pipes** : like im not aware of it ;)

**oliverqueer** : are you making us read your foreplay

**detectiveprettybi** : is this what my life will be like

**bilance** : YOU chose to leave us

**lesbianda** : you keep repeating that discussion

**babybibibi** : i feel like it won’t cease until they’ve moved out

**snowflake** : how’s the apartment hunt even going??

**pipes** : we’re on hold for like three

**pipes** : got no replies from a couple

**pipes** : and negative replies from some others

**oliverqueer** : … so there’s an actual chance that y’all are leaving soon

**detectiveprettybi** : well not before july 

**bilance** : OUR LAST MONTH TOGETHER IS PRIDE MONTH?

**pipes** : why do i feel like sara only cares about eddie

**babybibibi** : i’d have said bi solidarity but im rarely feelin it

**transco** : it’s the blonde hair

**oliverqueer** : i’m not feeling it either

**snowflake** : maybe the combination of those two

**lesbianda** : hey my uber driver is here

**transco** : where is my boyfriend

**pipes** : [image attached]

**transco** : BIG BELLY’S????

**transco** : I LOVE YOU

**detectiveprettybi** : the way to the heart truly is through the stomach huh

**babybibibi** : with cisco? Yeah

**oliverqueer** : soft

**bilance** : let’s go gang and prepare some snacks

**detectiveprettybi** : … @ braincells did you want to come over as well

**snowflake** : we’re having a comfy night in but thanks!!

**babybibibi** : have fun!

**pipes** : i know i will

**transco** : first food then sex

**heatwave** : priorities of my kind, good on you tiny

**transco** : :^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the story behind that poem: it came to me -- months ago, it was in august 2019 -- while I was sitting in a full bus packed with school kids. ofc I had to jot it down, even for my own amusement. i'm glad i found a way to share it with all of you finally


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snart's birthday!!!

**snowflake** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNART

**babybibibi** : goddammit babe

**pipes** : you’re gonna die

**babybibibi** : i know i tried to keep her from it

**lesbianda** : cait you’re too wholesome

**spACEbar** : did you just explode

**pipes** : hey bar did you get to wish a happy birthday at least

**irisbest** : ofc they did

**irisbest** : even gave him a present

**spACEbar** : you guys did too!

**babybibibi** : woah what now

**lesbianda** : where is cisco with his anime betrayals

**irisbest** : he got one (1) book from the three of us 

**irisbest** : it doesn’t even have 50 pages, i just got it bc it’s a painter and the name was so ominous

**pipes** : what is the name

**pipes** : also cisco is still asleep

**irisbest** : VANISHING POINT

**irisbest** : idek the painter it’s about but bar said that’s snart’s shit so it worked for us. Did the thing where we said it’s from us all

**pipes** : wow i can’t wait for my next birthday

**lesbianda** : classic west move

**snowflake** : what did you give him bar!!!

**irisbest** : also some lame artist nerd bullshit

**irisbest** : they trotted up to kick snart outta bed for breakfast so you can wait for that answer i guess

**lesbianda** : wow he got to join game night AND stay over

**irisbest** : aw are you hurt

**oliverqueer** : linda you got to stay at the quiver doesn’t that count for anything

**pipes** : maybe bar gave snart their virginity

**irisbest** : noooooooo ewwww

**babybibibi** : you and eddie describe your escapades in great detail in this chat but you are disgusted when it comes to that, sure

**lesbianda** : no the huge af bed was very nice, thank you oliver

**lesbianda** : also nyssa and i are now incredibly tight

**pipes** : oh no, superior lesbian team-up

**lesbianda** : i’m hoarding them all around me

**bilance** : well someone needs to provide the wlw here

**snowflake** : it IS mostly mlm here you’re right

**babybibibi** : even us enbys are more than you guys smh

**pipes** : we’re getting better, at least

**oliverqueer** : it’s like someone got self-aware about the rep here

**irisbest** : bless

**irisbest** : will my family ever appear

**irisbest** : also snart

**babybibibi** : for a moment you had me shocked there

**pipes** : iris, at coldbar’s wedding:

**pipes** : [video attached]

**lesbianda** : cisco really upped your meme game

**bilance** : why did that never work on ronnie

**babybibibi** : rude,

**irisbest** : [image attached]

**irisbest** : found two

**oliverqueer** : how does wally’s bed hair look so nice

**lesbianda** : black excellence

**transco** : i have awoken

**snowflake** : why do i feel like the majority of this group checks their phone first thing in the morning

**bilance** : who doesn’t

**lesbianda** : yes i need to stay connected to the world

**transco** : jokes on you i did go to pee

**heatwave** : gotta check what yall are annoying about

**snowflake** : even you, mick???

**oliverqueer** : did you really think mick was gonna be the least chaotic of us all

**pipes** : tbh i feel like that wouldnt be so far off

**detectiveprettybi** : mick’s the most normal one here

**heatwave** : still not fucking you

**detectiveprettybi** : but what am i doing WRONG

**captaincold** : you exist

**heatwave** : cop

**lesbianda** : nothing, he just loves seeing you suffer

**detectiveprettybi** : >:(

**detectiveprettybi** : one day

**snowflake** : SNART!

**captaincold** : yes, thank you for the wishes, snow

**pipes** : you’re letting her LIVE?

**oliverqueer** : it’s cait, what did you expect

**babybibibi** : heh

**lesbianda** : so snart what’s the nerdy present bar got you

**spACEbar** : tickets to the rothko exhibition in coast city in august

**pipes** : why does that name sound familiar

**captaincold** : angry jewish painter

**babybibibi** : aren’t they all

**babybibibi** : i mean aren’t all painters angry. Not that all jewish ppl are angry

**transco** : is that snart’s doppelgänger

**heatwave** : ain’t a painter

**bilance** : close enough

**pipes** : RED

**spACEbar** : … yes?

**pipes** : no not you

**lesbianda** : jfc

**pipes** : that’s where i know rothko from!

**captaincold** : please elaborate

**transco** : idek man he’s currently scrolling through something

**oliverqueer** : i am so confused

**spACEbar** : yeah same

**pipes** : i just fact-checked and YES

**pipes** : theres a play about rothko that i listened to some time ago so THAT’s that

**captaincold** : why did you listen to a play about rothko

**pipes** : broadway actors

**detectiveprettybi** : adds up

**spACEbar** : and it’s called… red?

**lesbianda** : the best fucking coincidence of all time

**snowflake** : did joe allow you to leave town then???!!

**heatwave** : probation ends in early august

**snowflake** : IT DOES

**babybibibi** : aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy

**lesbianda** : we been knew

**bilance** : no literally nobody knew except you

**spACEbar** : well and obviously len and mick, iris and me….

**bilance** : y’all don’t count

**captaincold** : adds up

**detectiveprettybi** : i knew too????

**bilance** : you don’t count EITHER

**oliverqueer** : i always thought you were arrested in, like, september

**oliverqueer** : what did you do until the semester started

**heatwave** : jail

**transco** : wait really

**heatwave** : ya

**babybibibi** : ???? i’m so confused

**captaincold** : until the detective managed shit we did go back to custody

**captaincold** : two weeks only

**heatwave** : an then lots of boring shit explanations

**snowflake** : huh

**irisbest** : so are the two of you ever coming downstairs or

**spACEbar** : do we have to

**spACEbar** : joe just yelled that we do have to, so see y’all later

**captaincold** : or not

**oliverqueer** : wait so when exactly are you guys free @ mick

**heatwave** : 7 aug

**snowflake** : that’s so soon!!!!

**transco** : jeez and we didn’t have a clue

**pipes** : don’t you guys also have to move out of your flat then

**heatwave** : guess so

**detectiveprettybi** : lmao same hat

**bilance** : oh shut up you don’t have to do anything

**babybibibi** : jesus you’re snappy today sara

**oliverqueer** : nyssa is out for breakfast with ava

**transco** : she’s WHAT

**lesbianda** : you’d think me being here would better her mood

**bilance** : it does <3

**oliverqueer** : anyway @ crime squad, since we have two more empty rooms at the quiver soon, you can also just crash here for the time being

**babybibibi** : are u desperately trying to make your friends stick close

**heatwave** : no thanks

**snowflake** : don’t break oliver’s heart!!!!

**oliverqueer** : why do i feel like im being attacked when all i just did was BE NICE

**heatwave** : you dont wanna have 2 snarts under ya roof

**lesbianda** : that’s a compelling argument

**bilance** : oh god i feel like we really don’t want that

**irisbest** : lmao wally just mentioned snart’s age and now both he and dad got all quiet and awkward

**transco** : we’re all fine with the age difference as long as nobody mentions it

**detectiveprettybi** : i… yeah

**babybibibi** : im changing the topic smoothly

**babybibibi** : oliver did any of your rich friends say anything about joining pride parade yet

**pipes** : yeah iris only has 2 weeks to figure out how to bone bruce wayne

**oliverqueer** : no, nothing yet

**transco** : that’s sad, alexa--

**bilance** : i swear to every single god that i know of

**snowflake** : are you gonna start murdering people

**bilance** : i don’t even know how i didn’t start yet tbh

**lesbianda** : bitch let’s get you some fruit

**transco** : aaaaaaaaayyyyyyy it’s always sunny

**babybibibi** : nice iasip!!!

**lesbianda** : …. No for real lets go to the farmer’s market

**bilance** : hmmmmm

**snowflake** : have fun!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- there really is a book called "vanishing point" about william turner (the painter) and when i found it while researching for a paper i just CACKLED in the library  
> \- the video hartley sends is the NOT ON MY WATCH!!!! vine  
> \- there really is a play called "red" by john logan that is about mark rothko... and my relationship to it is so funny LIKE. a year ago i listened to it bc the cast has jonathan groff on it and i am a simple person, but i'm bad at auditory processing so i never actually GOT that it was a REAL painter and thought it was a fictional one, idek. fast forward to november 2019 when i sat in class and listened to a presentation about rothko and was like "fuck, imma make snart a rothko fan bc it FITS SO WELL". fast forward two more weeks when i was awake the whole night and decided to re-listen to the play and suddenly BOLTED UP and whispered THAT PLAY IS ABOUT MARK ROTHKO?????? and everything fell into place. that the name of the play gives way for jokes i only noticed while writing this chap, lol


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of bad news for the gang :(

**lesbianda** : I hate twitter

**lesbianda** : i just had to see with my own eyes that a guy thinks he’s kinky for going down on his girl

**irisbest** : oh no the poor thing

**oliverqueer** : imagine thinking you’re random and weird for pleasuring your girlfriend

**oliverqueer** : can’t relate

**lesbianda** : ahhh a connoisseur

**irisbest** : eddie too

**lesbianda** : nice

**heatwave** : why’d you not eat out a fucking woman is the question

**bilance** : mick you absolute fucking legend

**transco** : oh my god did y’all see on twitter

**transco** : IT’S A FUCKING TRAGEDY

**lesbianda** : yeah i just told them

**transco** : HOW COULD HE

**bilance** : the straights are at it again

**transco** : i doubt that his being straight has anything to do with this

**irisbest** : ???? no it’s plenty to do with it????

**captaincold** : are y’all even talking about the same thing

**oliverqueer** : i was just about to ask

**captaincold** : hm sure

**transco** : lex?????

**bilance** : oh fuck no

**lesbianda** : WHAT i never miss shittalking lex luthor time

**babybibibi** : listen i had a lovely day why do you need to ruin this

**irisbest** : im googling

**transco** : HE BOUGHT WARRIOR ANGEL

**snowflake** : oh whaaat

**oliverqueer** : damn that was only a matter of time

**lesbianda** : warrior angel???? How dare he

**heatwave** : fucking bitch doesnt know any respect does he

**babybibibi** : man mick is PREACHING today

**transco** : what do you mean “matter of time”

**transco** : OLIVER

**oliverqueer** : well he’s always been obsessed with it

**bilance** : is it the bald head

**heatwave** : hey

**bilance** : sorry mick, just know you are the sexiest baldie i know

**lesbianda** : oliver you need to buy it BACK

**oliverqueer** : i doubt that he’ll sell it, no matter the offer

**captaincold** : i love that you thought about it

**transco** : HE BETTER

**transco** : WE CAN’T HAVE THE WORST MAN IN THE WORLD OWN THE BEST COMIC

**irisbest** : considering what warrior angel stands for it seems a bit odd that luthor would like it

**irisbest** : like, at all

**babybibibi** : pfff we all know he probably thinks of himself as the good guy

**lesbianda** : hopefully he’ll never try to run for president

**pipes** : don’t give him any ideas

**transco** : im actually so sad about this like. What is he gonna change. Will the message be lost

**transco** : OH GOD what if he lets them pull a ‘steve rogers is an agent of hydra’ mess I’LL DIE

**detectiveprettybi** : didn’t it turn out that he wasn’t one after all

**detectiveprettybi** : what are even talking about 

**captaincold** : scroll up

**transco** : im preeetty sure they’d have gone through with it if the fans hadn’t screamed

**babybibibi** : noooo they wouldn’t have been so ruthless

**oliverqueer** : well im pretty sure lex wouldnt care about what ppl think

**irisbest** : watch him do a whole reboot with devilicus as the misunderstood person in the whole thing

**heatwave** : thanks i hate it

**transco** : I’M SO SCARED

**pipes** : [image attached]

**transco** : NOT the TIME for MEMES hartlEY

**detectiveprettybi** : oh daaaaaaaamn

**bilance** : gasps

**babybibibi** : damn we need someone who probably feels the same amount of pain as cisco does and has a rational mind to it

**captaincold** : bar is busy

**babybibibi** : well sco has to die then

**heatwave** : really sad

**lesbianda** : can’t you revenge buy something oliver

**oliverqueer** : sure! Shall i buy iron man while i’m at it

**lesbianda** : actually--

**oliverqueer** : i don’t have that kinda money

**irisbest** : i keep forgetting you only have a share of the fortune bc it’s still. So much

**transco** : where IS bar

**transco** : during the time of my greatest need they’re gone

**captaincold** : movie night with the anime nerds aka wally and jesse

**bilance** : pffffff

**pipes** : well WE’RE still here,,

**transco** : hartley i love you but it’s not the same

**heatwave** : nerds

**transco** : AND WHAT ABOUT IT

**pipes** : hey eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : yes

**pipes** : we DO need a bathtub

**detectiveprettybi** : so you can put cisco into a relaxing hot bath?

**pipes** : yes

**detectiveprettybi** : swell

**bilance** : awww you’re cute

**snowflake** : OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO CRY

**babybibibi** : :((( was work so bad

**snowflake** : DIDN’T YOU GUYS READ

**irisbest** : oh caitlin you’re a fan?

**snowflake** : ???????????????

**snowflake** : OBVIOUSLY????

**captaincold** : i hate to repeat myself but are you talking about the same topic

**babybibibi** : nah she’s no warrior angel fan

**babybibibi** : babe what happened

**snowflake** : THIS

**snowflake** : [link attached]

**snowflake** : AS IF THE FIRST SEASON WASN’T SHOT ON AN IPHONE IN THE PRODUCER’S BACKYARD

**heatwave** : damn snowy calm down

**snowflake** : DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

**captaincold** : oh she’s killer

**oliverqueer** : oh NO

**lesbianda** : are you gonna buy shadowhunters

**snowflake** : oliver PLEASE

**pipes** : oh fucking hell

**oliverqueer** : i SURE AS HELL AM

**captaincold** : you mean if your mom allows?

**oliverqueer** : … yeah.

**irisbest** : if we saved b99, then we can do the same for shadowhunters!!!!!

**oliverqueer** : YEAH

**lesbianda** : then you can REALLY adopt clary fray as your daughter!!!

**snowflake** : im so sad

**detectiveprettybi** : maybe you should go cry with cisco

**transco** : that’s a FABULOUS IDEA

**snowflake** : can you come here

**bilance** : are you too sad to walk

**snowflake** : no but cisco’s apartment makes me even sadder

**lesbianda** : djfkfhjfkgjg

**transco** : we get it, y’all hate my apartment

**babybibibi** : is that our new running gag

**irisbest** : we’ll see about that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- warrior angel is a comic series in smallville that gets frequently brought up (and lex IS a big fan). basically it's superman within superman bc we know how dctv is with meta jokes (hold up, is THAT why i like it so much???)  
> \- the meme hartley posts is the spongebob screenshot of "marty i'm scared"  
> \- i'm really toying with the idea of having them save shadowhunters in some way but then again i was quite content with the finale of the show so..... probably not. sorry, cait.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bar has a discovery, oliver leads a conspiracy theory, and cait can't deal with unhealthy behaviour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a good week to be a gay flash stan!!!!

**spACEbar** : [image attached]

**spACEbar** : y’all

**pipes** : what in hell

**snowflake** : WHAT?

**bilance** : in english please

**transco** : it’s literally one of the easiest-to-understand results of dna analysis i have ever seen

**lesbianda** : who IS that person

**irisbest** : personally i love checking up on genealogy

**captaincold** : holy shit babe

**heatwave** : oh nice

**detectiveprettybi** : THE KEYSTONE KILLER????

**spACEbar** : yeah turns out im related to two alleged murderers!!!

**heatwave** : the keystone killer is not “alleged”

**spACEbar** : yeah ava said so too

**bilance** : AVA????

**lesbianda** : i don’t even know what to concentrate on

**spACEbar** : ava is very much into true crime, as it turns out

**bilance** : why THE FUCK do you TALK to AVA

**irisbest** : why do you talk to ava before you talk to ME

**spACEbar** : she’s in that class??

**spACEbar** : pretty sure i mentioned that before

**transco** : dhfkfjfkf no you did not

**snowflake** : you really did not

**spACEbar** : ????

**captaincold** : think you told me

**spACEbar** : ah.

**pipes** : bar really goes out making friends that aren’t us huh

**detectiveprettybi** : can we go back to you being related to the dude who founded keystone

**irisbest** : wait i thought the gem cities were founded by the same person

**oliverqueer** : can a city even be founded by one (1) person

**oliverqueer** : that seems so dumb

**babybibibi** : CENTRAL WAS FOUNDED BY A *KILLER*

**heatwave** : yes?? It’s a well known fact

**spACEbar** : i don’t think it is

**pipes** : nope, i think it’s just for us weird crime obsessed kids

**captaincold** : mick did actually learn about it in school, so

**transco** : mick went to school??

**transco** : (that was a joke, how else would he be qualified to study)

**lesbianda** : im glad you have found your briancell, cisco

**oliverqueer** : anyone else think about arctic monkeys at that typo? No? Just me?

**detectiveprettybi** : wait i learnt about him in school too

**detectiveprettybi** : MICK are you from KEYSTONE

**heatwave** : yeah?

**detectiveprettybi** : WHAT

**irisbest** : damn mick i thought you were a homeboy

**captaincold** : nope, only got shipped here for juvie

**transco** : it’s funny that we have all these prison shit here when KEYSTONE was founded by a KILLER

**spACEbar** : same founder,,,

**pipes** : that YOU are related to

**lesbianda** : how old are the cities? Maybe we’re ALL related to him by now

**oliverqueer** : how did you even get that precise result

**spACEbar** : oh easy, our prof had us specifically test certain ppl out of curiosity

**heatwave** : fuckin weird

**detectiveprettybi** : which fucking teacher was that wtf

**spACEbar** : devoe, i don’t think you know him

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah no i don’t

**transco** : damn bar you’re the chosen one

**babybibibi** : barry, harry, it rhymes

**pipes** : you’re a wizard, bar

**oliverqueer** : HOLY SHIT

**lesbianda** : oh no he had a breakthrough

**captaincold** : more like a breakdown

**oliverqueer** : JULIAN LOOKS LIKE DRACO MALFOY

**irisbest** : oh god have we reached that level again

**spACEbar** : oliver, what the hell

**bilance** : that backfired with your bar/glee parallel too

**babybibibi** : all leads back to bar

**lesbianda** : are you sure it’s not just the accent that confuses you oliver

**oliverqueer** : no have you looked at him???

**oliverqueer** : y’all make me think i’m going crazy

**captaincold** : *going*?

**bilance** : what do you mean, going?

**bilance** : hah, nice snart

**pipes** : listen, as a harry potter nerd,

**irisbest** : well duh who isn’t a harry potter nerd

**transco** : no, trust me, he’s obnoxious about it

**heatwave** : you were 8 when the last part came out

**captaincold** : don’t remind me that they’re all babies

**spACEbar** : well, i was ten,

**captaincold** : don’t betray me like this, bar

**lesbianda** : aaaaand he’s spiralling

**pipes** : let’s go back to the fact that maybe oliver has a point

**oliverqueer** : I DO?

**pipes** : yeah, i mean

**pipes** : post-war draco or, like, modern AU!draco who ran away from home after realizing his parents are shit--

**pipes** : he’s got the aesthetic

**transco** : great now he’s spiralling too

**babybibibi** : the worst that could happen is him reading drarry fics for the rest of the night

**snowflake** : very likely

**pipes** : [reluctantly closes ao3 tab again]

**irisbest** : treat! Your! Self!

**lesbianda** : in this house we respect some good old enemies to lovers shit

**transco** : you do realize who you’re talking to

**pipes** : we invented enemies to lovers

**heatwave** : “enemies” you didn’t even try to kill each other you cowards

**babybibibi** : mick how many characters of yours have that plotline

**captaincold** : i’d say 90%

**irisbest** : mick lets you READ his STUFF?

**lesbianda** : :((( i haven’t seen the new shit

**captaincold** : finally im privileged

**lesbianda** : hmpf

**spACEbar** : i love that expression 

**spACEbar** : ’hmpf’ looks exactly like it feels and sounds

**snowflake** : okay i feel like we’re slowly going crazy bc we’re sleepy huh

**bilance** : half the people here are insomniacs, cait

**bilance** : including my gf who says she only needs 3h of sleep to be functional

**snowflake** : noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**babybibibi** : great HOW am i supposed to calm her down

**heatwave** : think of somethin, you know her best

**detectiveprettybi** : point for mick

**captaincold** : you know that ain’t helping you get laid

**detectiveprettybi** : that wasn’t even my goal, mick just made a real good point

**transco** : ronnie don’t y’all still have to watch the peraltiago wedding

**oliverqueer** : oh I KNEW there was a reason we didn’t scream about that yet

**bilance** : jeez your brain really only works from 12 to noon huh

**babybibibi** : CISCO YOU GENIUS

**spACEbar** : oh the ep is GREAT have fun!!!

**irisbest** : very true

**lesbianda** : oh thank god we can talk freely about it soon

**pipes** : cait should stop being so busy

**irisbest** : “tv > rl” - hartley rathaway

**transco** : words to be remembered for

**captaincold** : i’d never have seen pipes be the one to say something like this but okay

**bilance** : anyone else think that we progressed weirdly

**detectiveprettybi** : well did YOU see the linda/mick friendship coming

**spACEbar** : i think it’s safe to say nobody saw that

**lesbianda** : not even me tbh and i usually see everything

**oliverqueer** : we know

**transco** : somewhere out there is a parallel world where some of us never met

**spACEbar** : oh nooo

**irisbest** : well thank fuck that we did

**bilance** : hell yeah!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- there's a run in the new52 flash comics where it's revealed that barry allen is related to the keystone killer (not to be confused with the criminal minds perp lmao), i don't remember if they retconned that later on or something bc i read those in... the summer, i think??? i've been meaning to bring this in since then!!! guess the latest legends ep finally gave me the power  
> \- speaking of, legend be like "mick went to school in central" and i go "no thank you" bc this WAS PLANNED SINCE SUMMER STOP THIS @ CANON


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sara has a shock and joe an offer

**detectiveprettybi** : tag urself im sara

**transco** : what did sara do

**bilance** : SHUT UP

**bilance** : WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE

**bilance** : AGAIN

**irisbest** : damn quiver did you adopt ava sharpe

**detectiveprettybi** : came downstairs, looked around and left again without a comment

**pipes** : nah there was no announcement in the chat

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**lesbianda** : fantasy orgy

**lesbianda** : if patty were there, i mean

**captaincold** : you can be thirsty for other people, you know

**bilance** : nora must be possessed by a demon bc WHY is she CHILLIN with HER

**spACEbar** : are you ignoring your sister and gf in the mix

**bilance** : i’m used to their betrayal by now

**transco** : that’s so sad--

**bilance** : i hate you

**irisbest** : no but for real what are they doing there

**lesbianda** : is this karma for sara’s bullying oliver

**detectiveprettybi** : well, nyssa DID invite ava

**lesbianda** : poetic justice

**irisbest** : :’) beautiful

**bilance** : what the hell???? I thought we were a squad?????

**detectiveprettybi** : and ray and oliver had a date or whatever so ray brought his gf, his husband and his husband’s gf along

**transco** : adds up

**pipes** : nate and ray will beat cait and ronnie to getting married

**babybibibi** : rude

**babybibibi** : but very likely, yeah

**snowflake** : we’re not rushing to get married <3

**heatwave** : why get engaged then

**detectiveprettybi** : did you just ask someone why they got engaged

**lesbianda** : it’s the thing to show off the massive amount of love you are guaranteed at all times

**snowflake** : basically

**babybibibi** : plus fiance sounds more sophisticated than girlfriend

**snowflake** : and it’s genderneutral!

**captaincold** : isn’t it usually fiance and fiancee and doesn’t that hold a gender attribution already

**pipes** : in a heteronormative world, yes

**pipes** : otherwise it’s just the same as employer/employee

**irisbest** : so technically ronnie would be the fiance and cait the fiancee?

**pipes** : yes

**babybibibi** : we’re both using fiance and BAM

**spACEbar** : throwing down the cishets one at a time

**oliverqueer** : that’s the purpose of this whole chat here after all

**bilance** : oliver what are these people doing here

**oliverqueer** : i don’t know how to tell you this sara, but these are your friends

**bilance** : NOT THE PEOPLE HERE I MEAN THE PEOPLE IN OUR HOUSE

**oliverqueer** : i don’t know how to tell you this sara, but those are my friends. And my house. Ergo

**pipes** : oh he speaks latin

**transco** : literally one word and it’s one embedded into the english vocabulary

**captaincold** : away with the boner, pipes

**bilance** : y’all enjoy this too much

**detectiveprettybi** : Have you decided whether to come downstairs now, my beloved?

**transco** : oh jeez that was creepy as hell could you warn us before you steal eddie’s phone the next time nyssa

**spACEbar** : kfjfjfkfkg

**detectiveprettybi** : I will do no such thing because, regardless of who voices it, the question still stands.

**bilance** : no thanks i think i will stay up here for the rest of the week

**detectiveprettybi** : )-:

**spACEbar** : oh god her smileys have noses….?

**detectiveprettybi** : Naturally they do, just as any human being does.

**bilance** : it only makes the effect so much worse tbfh

**lesbianda** : take one for all the wlw and go kiss your gf pls

**lesbianda** : we don’t want her to be sad

**bilance** : fine

**detectiveprettybi** : Thank you, Sara. I love you.

**spACEbar** : AWWWW

**transco** : awww

**irisbest** : that gathering reminds me though

**irisbest** : dad complained that nobody ever hang out at our house

**spACEbar** : actual quote, “they all scared of me or what”

**irisbest** : yeah so we told him the quiver’s usually where we hang out

**irisbest** : and he said if y’all ever want a change just head over here lol

**irisbest** : like after pride, he’s gonna be @ cecile’s so we can have an afterparty here if we want 

**lesbianda** : thanks joe but the afterparty is at verdant

**spACEbar** : figured

**irisbest** : but the point stands, we got an open house

**pipes** : like your house isn’t open already

**transco** : yeah we’re over all the time

**lesbianda** : dito

**spACEbar** : also we told him that eddie’s moving out!!!

**spACEbar** : which pleased him a lot

**irisbest** : but when we said he’s moving in with hartley he just went “WALLY’S HARTLEY????”

**transco** : hfjfhfkfjfj

**captaincold** : of all the associations

**pipes** : im… speechless

**transco** : soon youll have stolen jax’ official best friend rang

**babybibibi** : omg

**pipes** : wait

**pipes** : if jax isn’t wally’s best friend but his BOYfriend

**pipes** : does that leave ME as his BEST friend

**irisbest** : preeetty sure they’re still best friends

**spACEbar** : why don’t you ask him

**captaincold** : yes please do us all that favour

**transco** : he’s probs freaking out about that anyways

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : yep

**lesbianda** : wait hartley is AT THE QUIVER??? Dhdkfjfk i thought he was at cisco’s

**transco** : nope

**detectiveprettybi** : he’s been rekindling his friendship with nate but now he’s just spacing out

**babybibibi** : rip hart

**detectiveprettybi** : also i’ve tried to get ray and tommy to discuss oliver’s dick but sadly

**captaincold** : you really don’t value your life do you

**detectiveprettybi** : snart i had a job interview to become a cop in blüdhaven what do you think

**captaincold** : point

**spACEbar** : okay something’s REALLY up with you two

**detectiveprettybi** : no it’s not????

**bilance** : i regret so much

**bilance** : im sitting between laurel and ava

**irisbest** : dhfjfkff

**pipes** : okay shit im okay

**transco** : you sure

**detectiveprettybi** : he is

**detectiveprettybi** : [image attached]

**detectiveprettybi** : look at those rich kids over there

**heatwave** : you really don’t fit into the mix there

**babybibibi** : wlw fraction, rich kid fraction, no space for eddie

**detectiveprettybi** : y’all know that nora and laurel are straight right?????

**irisbest** : i refuse to accept that

**snowflake** : they have queer energy

**babybibibi** : listen to cait, she’s the only hettie with a working gaydar

**captaincold** : the most honorable ally

**heatwave** : i don’t even doubt that weirdly

**oliverqueer** : OKAY SO

**oliverqueer** : IT’S SETTLED

**lesbianda** : oliver did you make any life changing decisions without consulting me

**babybibibi** : i love that that’s a thing now

**bilance** : the brilliant fact that he’s announcing this in the chat first before doing it out loud

**spACEbar** : ollie loves us more than the newbies

**heatwave** : youre still hung up on the weirdos disliking you huh

**oliverqueer** : RAY NATE AMAYA AND NORA ARE JOINING US FOR PRIDE

**irisbest** : NICE

**transco** : AAAAYYYYY

**babybibibi** : sweet!!!!!

**heatwave** : hella

**captaincold** : i guess ill take that offer of staying at the west’s house after pride

**babybibibi** : get some mick

**bilance** : oh great we now have to tell ppl about this groupchat

**bilance** : watch ava get offended that we didn’t include the newbies

**spACEbar** : WHAT DID YOU DO

**captaincold** : isn’t it obvious

**transco** : no???

**heatwave** : queen made the announcement here, idiots couldn’t keep quiet and freaked, q ppl not present wondering how they know

**oliverqueer** : that’s… a pretty good summary, yeah

**lesbianda** : well look how you fix that

**oliverqueer** : yes ma’am

**irisbest** : that’s music to your ears isn’t it

**lesbianda** : yeah

**lesbianda** : speaking of, did i mention you’re out of milk

**spACEbar** : i know, im currently @ the store

**captaincold** : sorry

**transco** : you finished it off??? I thought i did

**irisbest** : no that was the carton before that

**babybibibi** : iconic behavior of you all

**snowflake** : if joe invites us all we should do a money jar for all the things we’re gonna eat and drink there

**heatwave** : nah he’s fine

**bilance** : i hate ava

**snowflake** : oh no!

**bilance** : she’s not even PISSED

**lesbianda** : she’s… not?

**bilance** : NO

**pipes** : lmao she’s going on about how it’s understandable that we’ve become such a tight-knitted group beforehand blah blah

**pipes** : it’s infuriating

**snowflake** : it’s sweet!

**spACEbar** : i’m not even surprised by sara and hartley reacting like this when someone is nice

**transco** : ikr

**irisbest** : and here i thought we were gonna have conflict

**bilance** : *IM* HAVING CONFLICT

**oliverqueer** : when aren’t you

**lesbianda** : so… our float is ordered, people are on board, verdant is ready and I’M PUMPED

**detectiveprettybi** : plus i don’t have to work! 

**detectiveprettybi** : im at pride as a free man!

**captaincold** : right, the detective mentioned that

**lesbianda** : oh neat!!

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah singh said something about how we deserve to have fun at pride rather than work

**detectiveprettybi** : he also reminded me to think of my rep tho

**heatwave** : concept: no cops at pride

**irisbest** : no cops at pride only eddie

**irisbest** : and singh

**transco** : one week to go!!!

**babybibibi** : do the countdown right, it’s 6 days

**spACEbar** : aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ronnie, but it really is seven days until pride parade arrives in this chat


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning of PRIDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent the last weekend writing a Witcher fic (and I'd have never thought that would happen), so if you're into that, check ti out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22895428/chapters/54723241).

**transco** : HAPPY PRIDE

**babybibibi** : THE PARTY

**irisbest** : gonna be best pride ever!!!

**oliverqueer** : sara please bring my bow and arrow along

**pipes** :  w h a t t h e

**bilance** : who are we murdering

**captaincold** : i love how you just go along

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s nyssa’s influence

**detectiveprettybi** : im pretty sure she’s either a ninja or her dad leads a mob

**heatwave** : probs both

**oliverqueer** : the fuckers from the float rental service

**lesbianda** : WHAT

**lesbianda** : WHAT HAPPENED

**oliverqueer** : its not fucking wheelchair accessible that’s what happened

**oliverqueer** : well i suppose it is if you want to see nothing but feet the whole day

**bilance** : oh fucking hell

**captaincold** : ah shit what are you gonna do now

**transco** : fucking hell what

**oliverqueer** : there’s a ramp for the lower level but to get on top you gotta use a freaking ladder

**oliverqueer** : felicity told me not to play “my white saviour move” but im fucking angry

**oliverqueer** : we got her and her chair up now but the fact that we HAD to. im so freaking mad especially since i KNOW shes just acting like it does not bother her

**lesbianda** : FUCK we’re definitely gonna give them a freaking call if not a lawsuit

**snowflake** : if felicity wants to go through with it, you mean?

**lesbianda** : hell we can have them for false advertisement

**oliverqueer** : hi, felicity here

**oliverqueer** : can we please drop the topic for the rest of today? i’m having a good view now and would like to enjoy it

**oliverqueer** : and so far my legs aren’t too bad today so maybe i won’t even need the chair! 

**oliverqueer** : so until i have to get down from here again its just not a thing okay

**pipes** : okay

**irisbest** : are you sure you’re okay with that?

**oliverqueer** : i’m used to it

**babybibibi** : you shouldnt be!

**oliverqueer** : well it’s not like i can change the world in the next 24h so i just want us all to have a fun time so shhhh

**lesbianda** : okay :(

**spACEbar** : hey felicity this is the first time you’re on here

**oliverqueer** : is it????

**captaincold** : yeah, it’s like someone dragged this out

**oliverqueer** : well i do see plenty of you almost every second day, sooooo

**babybibibi** : i feel called out

**oliverqueer** : as you should be, ronald raymond

**heatwave** : evil step-mother: activated

**irisbest** : shame on you ronnie

**oliverqueer** : oh, you’re meant, too, iris!

**oliverqueer** : and bar!

**spACEbar** : um

**transco** : lmao one would think you’re the most involved ppl

**transco** : but it’s true, you’re never at the quiver

**transco** : OH THAT WAS A RHYME AS WELL

**pipes** : never and quiver?

**pipes** : not a perfect one

**transco** : perfect rhymes are rare in general

**pipes** : how would you say? Ah, doubt.png

**lesbianda** : this is THE top anime betrayal

**snowflake** : IT IS

**detectiveprettybi** : im laughing

**bilance** : [vine voice] so, no bow?

**oliverqueer** : no, no bow

**captaincold** : we’re already escalating, i see

**oliverqueer** : so when are you guys showing up? 

**spACEbar** : i thought the parade only starts at 12?

**lesbianda** : yeah but we’re already partying before

**lesbianda** : i thought that was obvious

**pipes** : uh….

**oliverqueer** : i love that there have been no exaggerations about your uselessness after all

**babybibibi** : who says we’re useless

**oliverqueer** : everyone

**detectiveprettybi** : that’s fair

**bilance** : okay guys you have t-minus 1h to get to the float, bring glitter and water!

**heatwave** : water?

**pipes** : oliver has the alcohol covered

**oliverqueer** : that he has

**lesbianda** : we’re bringing make-up stuff to grace everyone with pride flags!

**snowflake** : we?

**lesbianda** : yeah patty and me

**spACEbar** : PATTY

**spACEbar** : ??????????????

**lesbianda** : surprise!!!

**transco** : PATTY!!!!!

**babybibibi** : SWEET

**oliverqueer** : so many surprises!

**irisbest** : what do you mean, “so many”

**pipes** : are there more

**bilance** : eye emoji

**captaincold** : ms smoak

**oliverqueer** : my girlfriend learn to keep a secret challenge

**heatwave** : coward

**detectiveprettybi** : what’s the surprise oliver

**oliverqueer** : if i told you it’d be no surprise any more

**captaincold** : such a cliche line

**lesbianda** : oliver i thought you won’t do things without telling me first!!!!

**oliverqueer** : 1) we never said that

**oliverqueer** : 2) *I* didn’t do anything

**spACEbar** : eye emoji

**oliverqueer** : i guess you’ll just have to head here and see for yourself

**bilance** : im glad we’re already on our way to the airport,,,,

**babybibibi** : AIRPORT?

**babybibibi** : I THOUGHT NYSSA IS STAYING

**bilance** : ya we’re picking up thea, roy & sin lmao

**lesbianda** : im about to climb on my bike as we speak

**heatwave** : since when do u have a bike

**lesbianda** : [image attached]

**snowflake** : IS THAT A PRIDE FLAG 

**captaincold** : why are you riding a kids’ bicycle, park

**lesbianda** : it’s mine!!! 

**lesbianda** : my cousins decorated it okay

**spACEbar** : i love your cousins

**transco** : please don’t text while biking xoxo

**lesbianda** : please, i know better than that i have watched both glee 3x14 AND 3x20

**irisbest** : sometimes it’s like you’re speaking a whole different language i swear

**pipes** : props was SUCH a good episode

**oliverqueer** : remember how we all thought it’d just be fun nonsense and then that shit cut deep

**heatwave** : we get it, youre queer nerds

**irisbest** : we’re leaving soon

**irisbest** : still trying to figure out whether wally already comes with or not

**oliverqueer** : if he doesn’t i think he’ll find us quite easily

**detectiveprettybi** : yeah, just head for the float that’s on fire

**spACEbar** : i know you’re joking but   p l e a s e don’t joke about that

**babybibibi** : honestly it’s very likely for us

**captaincold** : just remember the time pretty bi and bar almost set a kitchen on fire

**spACEbar** : LISTEN

**irisbest** : oh JEEZ now that dad knows that we know eddie i can TELL him about that bwahaha

**detectiveprettybi** : sure let him think im even worse than he already thinks

**heatwave** : thats because u are

**detectiveprettybi** : gaSPS

**detectiveprettybi** : mick do u like bad boys

**heatwave** : im not sleeping with anyone today

**captaincold** : oh thank g*d 

**captaincold** : i kind of figured i’ve been pushing it too far with the staying out for the night

**detectiveprettybi** : you have

**captaincold** : shit

**bilance** : consequences? For snart’s actions??

**spACEbar** : yeah it’s been known to happen

**pipes** : okay we’re heading out

**babybibibi** : who is ‘we’ rn

**transco** : hart and me

**detectiveprettybi** : im seated in tommy’s car sooo

**heatwave** : u jump him yet

**detectiveprettybi** : excuse me his gf is present

**pipes** : like that’d stop you

**bilance** : ew stop talking about my sister like that

**irisbest** : oh sure NOW that’s weird but when i say it is,,,

**irisbest** : anyway wally is coming with so now the wests are FLYING

**spACEbar** : im a west!

**snowflake** : can you accept joe’s name?

**spACEbar** : hm if he adopted me afaik but that’s not happening

**spACEbar** : also barry west sounds stupid

**irisbest** : barry allen west too

**babybibibi** : barry west allen has a nice ring to it

**spACEbar** : stooop im a true allen

**bilance** : and im a true neutral

**heatwave** : like fuck you aint

**transco** : MICK KNOWS ALIGNMENTS?????

**captaincold** : he’s friends with raymond palmer and nathaniel heywood ofc he does

**bilance** : fair

**oliverqueer** : ….

**oliverqueer** : so are you guys all on the road now

**heatwave** : bouta leave

**snowflake** : samesies!

**spACEbar** : HERE WE GOOOO

**captaincold** : i will personally keep you away from any alcohol

**spACEbar** : my hero <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- as always, I am not a wheelchair user myself, but my dad spent the greater part of the day using one. still, if anything is HELLA offensive (or said in a way that seems so... because, once again, not a native english speaker here) please tell me  
> \- in case you didn't know: in a world before arrow, felicity smoak was only a minor side character in dc comics and - you guessed it! - indeed ronnie raymond's step-mother  
> \- i rewatched glee's episode "props" recently and it is, in fact, the most incredible one  
> \- i love y'all, thanks for sticking around

**Author's Note:**

>  **Please leave a comment!**  
>  If you liked this, come check out my [tumblr](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com) or talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/Ll4MDUNBAR).


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